Last week at a funeral, the pastor said... everyone's life is in one of three stages... 1. Going through something, 2. Getting out of something and 3. About to go through something. This is so true as I was reminded last night.
Case and Point
Last night I had an awesome time chilling with a few of my clay studio buddies over a couple bowls of chili. Every year on the night of the Philadelphia marathon, I am invited to their house to part-take in a little celebratory dinner with anywhere from 7 to 10 different types of chili. Last year I passed on this get together because I honestly didn’t want to get too close to them. I was comfortable with the little that they knew about me.
Well last night I was like who cares, just go, you won’t get asked any million dollar questions. What are the million dollar questions you ask? I will tell you later keep reading.
So, Amaretto can attest to this… I go through this moment of convincing myself on the way to the event that I am just going to say Hi, smile and I am out and needless to say that never happens. And this night was no different. I get there. Old school soul music is playing… who don’t like James Brown? There is a smorgasbord of topping and sides (pasta, rice, cornbread, fajitas, salsa, sour cream, avocado, multiple cheeses, peppers, etc) are on the first table and as I enter the kitchen, there are 10 pots on heat being keep warm with ladles. There is everything from veggie to lobster to catfish to bison to beef chili. YUMMY! So maybe I won’t be able to do a quick smile and Hi. (chuckle)
Okay, okay 2 spoonfuls and a two glasses of wine later, everyone is loose and the getting to know each other begins. My follow studio-mate turns to me and says she is really nervous about her interview tomorrow. And I say really why? Then she was like I have been rather worried about interviewing since I lost my job. UH? Hold up when did you lose your job? I couldn’t stop myself before it came out... that was a million dollar question. If you ask a million dollar question don’t surprised if you get hit with one too. (chuckle)
No turning back now. My studio-mate goes on to tell me that she took a break from her nursing job because she was addicted to the painkillers that were prescribed to her 2 years ago for a shoulder incident. She explained that she took a voluntary break from her job but the medication they used in rehab contained ingredients that caused to fail her drug test when it was time to return, therefore she has been unemployed for the past 6 months. (BTW – She is a nurse and we live talking about Nurse Betty in class.) WHOA! This is some crazy mess. Chica! We were just at the movies the other day together.
She then goes on to say it feels so good to get that off her chest because it had been bothering her for a while and she felt like she had to keep up this pretense. OMG! The chili wasn’t the only thing burning up on my insides. I totally knew what she was feeling. Coming into the studio week after week, night after night, sharing our lives as we work. Calling clay work a hobby when for many of us it was therapeutic. Studio nights had become a safe haven for more than one person other than myself.
Should I share this with her? I don’t know.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I had this same conversation with another friend about how I don’t have the heart to tell my studio-mates, that I am divorced. I know, I know, nobody cares but it just seems so hard to say it the first time to anyone who knew you as a married woman. It doesn’t matter who you are. So I totally understand how she feels.
At that point, I whispered in her ear… while you were hiding behind your smiles week after week, I was doing the same thing as I went through a divorce.
Silent hug.
Much luv until next week… peace and a hug :)
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