Purpose Driven Life

Hey y'all! I am writing this post late Tuesday night, going into Wednesday, to arrive on your computer screens this Friday. The reason? Cause I'm on my way outta town for a much needed vacation! And I like to be responsibleish.

Originally this post was gonna be me just throwing up the deuces mixed in with some 'these are my confessions'. And I was gonna talk about how this is my first vacation alone and I'm ascared, not because I don't enjoy my own company (I loves me!) but because I felt like this was like three toes over the line of SINGLE BLACK WOMAN FO' LIFE! But then...

Amaretto and I witnessed something tragic (and traumatic) on Monday night. And in that moment all the seemingly cliche things people tell you about life: that it's short, and priceless, and not promised, and fleeting - were proven right in that instant. The old folk (and the Bible) say, watch and pray, [for no one knows the day or the hour.] And man, that last pearl of wisdom is all I've been able to think about.

And so I unwrapped myself out of all the worry I felt about going on a vacation alone and forced myself to evaluate the sit'chation. Why am I going on vacation? Cause I need a DAMN vacation! And I'm grown! And I'm tired and just wanna lay on somebody's beach. And if not now, then when? And yet two of my aunties were like, "be honest. Who are you going on vacation with?!" They would not believe that it was just going to be me.

Because people don't like when you go against convention. Or do what they could never fathom. Or be something they didn't decide for you. And I get it. But maaaaannnnn... What happened on Monday got me thinking about who I been, where I'm at, and where I'm tryna be. Got me wanting to truly start living out my purpose. Find joy where I usually complain. Truly enjoy and find the beauty in every.single.day. Practice random acts of kindness. And tell folk on a regular basis that I love 'em. Take risks. Believe in myself. Travel just because. Drop the baggage. And enjoy the freedom. Try new things. And accomplish my goals. Got me just wanting (as corny as this sounds) to be all I can be. To just be me. And love it.

That's my time y'all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

what went wrong?

in my lifetime - at times - i feel like i've seen it, done it, or know somebody else who seen it, done it all. and when you factor 6 degrees of separation - well cut that in half - becuz 3 seems to be the magic number for Bellini...

as an adult it happens to be quite commonplace to hear about deteriorating marriages not to mention the marriages that just went kaput after 30 + years.

let's zone in on the latter.

When I first heard of a couple going there separate ways after 40 years I ceded a perplex disposition. I reckoned isn't easier to ride it out for another 20 years together. but is life always about being easy, let alone taking it easy? If you've done 40 what's another 20? I asked my friend whose in-laws had divorced what effect that had on her husband and his siblings (given it was his parents that split up). She's not sure, I'm sure it has her shook. Ironically, all the kids of the divorcees (three of 'em) are all married. But I have to wonder what psychological manifestations have they endured.

Do they feel their marriage is doomed?
If a spouse is unhappy does that warrant callin' it quits?

on Saturday, as I ran my errands, I ran into an aunt of a friend from grade school who inadvertently mentioned that my friend's parents had split. I'm a lil' baffled because I can't recall if they were legally married. but then again after 30 years - common law is in effect... she was quick to blame her sister for the disunion "you know she has issues"... are issues enough? auntie then goes on to share "he's doing fine, he bought himself a truck and found him a nice little spot" so matter-of-factly.

whenever I'm at the hairsalon and my stylist expresses her views on worldy matters... she proclaims for her generation it was all about the kids. she has 3 grown kids with kids of their own and she's always heartened by the feelings her kids have on she and their father embracing their union for the umpteenth time... but i can't help but sense a bit of resentment, quasi-bitterness as it appears she's gettin' robbed of the possibilities of going backwards...

things that make you hmmmm...

cheers,

Bellini

Frowned Upon but Exhilarating?!

Real quick, I had a conversation yesterday about adult activities that are frowned upon. Here were the top answers:

1. Sex on the first date.
2. Sleeping with someone your friend also slept with.
3. Daily masturbation.
4. Sex in hidden public places.
5. Skinny dipping over the age of 30.

There seemed to be a general consensus among folks that these circumstances were the most exhilarating frown upon adult activites. And here I was coming up with things like, eating two slices of chocolate cake when on a diet. LOL! (chuckle) Maybe it was the Pomegranate tequila talking. Who knows?

Much luv until next week... peace :)

Dear God, I'm trying hard to reach you
Dear God, I see your face in all I do
Sometimes, it's so hard to believe it...
But God, I know you have your reasons
(Uh huh)

They said he's busy hold the line please
Call me crazy, I thought maybe he could mind read
Who does the blind lead?
Show me a sign please
If everything is made in China, are we Chinese?
And why do haters separate us like we siamese?
Technology turning the planet into zombies
Everybody all in everybody's dirty laundry
Acid rain, earthquakes, hurricane, tsunamis
Terrorist, crime sprees, assaults, and robberies
Cops yellin' stop, freeze
Shoot him before he try to leave
Air quality so foul, I gotta try to breath
Endangered species
And we runnin' out of trees
If I could hold the world in the palm of these
Hands, I would probably do away with these anomalies
Everybody checkin' for the new award nominee
Wars and atrocities
Look at all the poverty
Ignoring the prophecies
More beef than broccoli
Corporate monopoly
Weak world economy
Stock market topplin'
Mad marijuana oxycotton and klonopin
Everybody out of it?
Well I've been thinkin' about
And I've been breakin' it down
Without an answer
I know I'm thinking out loud
But if you're lost and around
Why do we suffer?
Why do we suffer?
(Uh huh)
Yeah... It's still me, one of your biggest fans
I get off work
Right back to work again
I probably need to go ahead and have my head exam
Look at how they got me on the Def Jam payment plan
Well, I'm in the world of entertainment and
Trying to keep a singing man sane for the paying fans
If I don't make it through the night, slight change of plans
Harp strings, angel wings, and praying hands
Lord, forgive me for my shortcomings
For going on tour and ignoring the court summons
All I'm trying to do is live life to the fullest
They sent my daddy to you in a barrage of bullets
Why is the world ugly when you made it in your image?
And why is livin' life such a fight to the finish?
For this high percentage
When the sky's the limit
A second is a minute, every hour's infinite
Dear God, I'm trying hard to reach you
Dear God, I see your face in all I do
Sometimes, it's so hard to believe it..