finding what matters

6 months ago, i hated where i worked.  really hated it.  i loved what i was doing but i hated the environment: a poorly managed frat house masquerading as a non-profit organization.  and so i did what i always do when i start to hate my environment.  i look for the next exit.  the quickest out.  i sent out a few resumes and prayed for a change.  i complained to rum punch and mentally checked out of the office.

and then nothing happened.  there was no quick escape hatch.  no job opportunities forthcoming.  and i realized i was stuck.  at least for the immediate future.  before when i wanted an out, i found one within a few months.  but the economy had other plans.  God had other plans. 

i had to deal with my environment in a totally new way.  putting the people aside, why was i here?  why did i come here?  to try cases and to help people fight off the oppressive weight of the criminal justice system.  and that's what i needed to do.  focus on those 2 things.  do those and nothing else.  become so good at those things that they couldn't tell me nothing.  tune out everything and everyone else.

now this hasn't been easy because my work environment is full of bitchassness and incompetence.  i curse a lot of people out in my mind.  i send sarcastic yet polite emails to all that highlight the ridiculousness that is office (mis)management.  i pretty much do my thing and keep it moving.

and this week i did my thing really well.  i had trial every day of the week and despite a brief moment of doubt (and a few unnecessary tears) i prevailed.  my clients prevailed.  it was the most exciting, exhilarating and mentally exhausting week of my career.   and i loved it.  i love what i do.  and that's the most important thing.