In Treatment

So I’ve been feeling kind of blah lately. I know, what the hell does “blah” mean? Rum Punch and I have been trying to define it for the past few weeks to no avail. It’s like being bored, annoyed and anxious all rolled up into one. Sometimes you shed tears while sitting up in your room, yet you are still able to laugh at jokes, and even be the life of the party. If you’ve ever felt this way then you understand, and if not, sorry that’s the best I can describe it.

So anyway, this feeling of blahness became more intense yesterday. And sadly this intensity was ignited by the actions of a male. *Sigh* I know, I’m suppose to be this unique and strong single female and yet I have a starring role in a typical story written centuries ago. Boy meets girl, girl likes hanging out with boy, boy wants more, girl says no-maybe later, boy goes crazy and wants to throw rocks at her. And as common as this story can be it doesn’t make it any less sad, nor does it not cause a girl to question some things in her life. Like, am I a good person? Was I too much of this… too little of that? Was I that annoying heffa I said I never would be? Is Pepsi really better than Coke? And down the rabbit hole girl falls.

And so, girl recognizing that she’s losing some of her sanity over foolishness, knows that it’s time for a little therapy. During these epiphanies, some of us head straight for the refrigerator. Yummmm. Ice cream, cookies, cakes and pies…oh my! Or maybe getting a steak medium-well and a baked potato loaded with cheese and bacon! Food is truly the most dangerous form of therapy, but ain’t nothing like be fat and happy saying fcuk that diet while sitting on the couch, watching Good Times. And then there’s retail therapy! Hi-ho, Hi-ho it’s off to the store (or the online store) we go! Something about getting a cute outfit (or several) can really put things into perspective and remind us that this is why, this is why, this is why we hot. And honestly I subscribe to both forms of treatment on occasion, but last night I needed some good ole music to make it better.

I went to my CD collection (yes, it’s still 1998 in my world) and got my girls Jill and Mary (the My Life album, not those other ones) out. Sometimes Erykah is in rotation, but I wasn’t feeling quite “Green Eyes" bad, seriously folks, use that song with extreme caution. And for some reason I threw Sade into the mix. The Best of Sade to be exact, from “Cherish the Day” to “No Ordinary Love” I was singing and feeling fine. Then got to The Sweetest Taboo. What the hell ya’ll?! Do you know that song? It is the TRUTH! With the rain in the background and this woman is sangin’ and the band is playing like God’s standing in the corner saying if you want live you better do the darn thing! Please imagine me with my headphones on (for my roomie’s comfort-because I was blasting the stereo) hands in the air singing “You give me the, sweetest taboo. That’s why I’m, in love with you…” But then there was a lyric I ain’t never noticed before in which Sade says:

“I’d do anything for you. I’d stand out in the rain.”

Say what girl? Stop the music! Stand out in the rain? You got an umbrella right? Maybe a rain bonnet? Because get your hair wet? For a man? Puhlease! Has she lost her mind?

Maybe.

I guess that’s what sweet taboo will do to a girl. Or just simply loving someone passionately can cause a girl to happily go to the land of crazy. I don’t know. I have yet to find someone who is stand out in the rain, wet hair, I’m about to look like a microphone head worthy. But knowing that people can feel that way about somebody and not just blah all the time makes me feel better. Hopeful. And a little more sane.

See You in Seven