another sad love song

i'm a pop culture junkie. i talk about yonce like i know her sometimes. i stay updated on the latest celebrity gossip like the next young black professional woman sitting at a desk from 9ish to 5ish with constant internet access. but i think i've had just about enough of...

the chrianna drama.

now rum punch will tell you that when the story first broke i was shocked and amazed. "why c. breezy why" was my first battle cry. i felt like a kid caught in the middle of her parents' divorce...who do i believe, which one do i live with. cause i heart chris brown and rihanna with a passion. i first came to love these two young pop stars during essence fest 08. they headlined for kanye west and when we bought the tickets i was thinking mehhh, me no know if i will like rihanna in person. i ponn'ed the replay and sang along under my umbrella-ella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh but didn't think she had what it took to perform well on a live stage.

but rihanna brought it. especially when she performed "breaking dishes" my new favorite song by her. and then chris brown hit the stage and his dancing abilities had me screaming like a school girl. twas how my love affair with chrianna began. plus she's a pisces and he has my sister's same birthday. and they so in love. and ya'll know i love love.

but now not so much.

their recent drama round grammy time has been on the tip of everyone's tongue. everybody has an opinion on it. and isn't afriad to share it. publicly. and then retract that opinion 24-48 hours after it's printed. my heart goes out to both of them. and now the felony charges have been handed down. assault and making criminal threats aint no joke.

word is that rihanna isn't going to cooperate. but that never stopped the state of (fill in the blank) from going forward with domestic violence charges before. stay tuned.

to catch a killer

Earlier this month, I got cable and that’s saying something cause I’d been without it for over 9 months. And I’m so happy to have the first 48 back in my life.

This. Show. Is. The. TRUTH. Literally, ha ha…

For homicide detectives, the clock starts ticking the moment they are called. Their chance of solving a case is cut in half if they don't get a lead in THE FIRST 48. dunt dunt.

The show follows around homicide detectives in cities like Miami, Las Vegas & Detroit as they try to solve murders. There are usually two murders per show and they switch back and forth between the cities as the detectives arrive on the scene, investigate and try to catch the killers.

I started watching it in the summer of ‘06 when I was studying for my first bar exam…lol, who knew. Anyway, that summer I tried not to watch any tv but one day after a boring-as-usual bar.bri class, I was layin on my friend’s couch flipping through and this show caught my attention.

A reality show. Dead Bodies. Drama. Mystery. Sign me up. It’s law and order without the filter and I love it for a few reasons.

Sgt. Caroline Mason. She cracks me up. showing up at crime scenes wit stilettos on, her weave swinging, nails and make-up some crazy shade of red, she chats up the folks in the hood using what she calls “her ghetto pass.” and she usually gets the goods. I just love her.

Now ya’ll know I’m more defense minded. Well, very, totally and completely but whatever. For some reason, I find it so fascinating to watch the process from the other side. Of course, it burns me up when people go into the interview room and after a couple of pointed questions, jokers start pouring they hearts out.

Okay okay, you want me to tell you what really happened? I’ma tell you the real truth. This the truth right here. What had happened was…

Damn damn damn suspect, keep your mouth shut. Ask for a lawyer

But at the same time, I’m happy when people tell the truth, that they did it (but they do “deserve” and have a right to a competent defense) because the show is so good at humanizing the victims.

Dude mighta been standing on the corner slanging when he got shot, but announcer guy will say some shit like, Darnell Jenkins, the father of two small children, grew up in the neighborhood, everybody knew him… AS A DRUG DEALER. But still, every person that dies is treated with respect no matter the circumstances of their death and you see that in the back story of their lives, the moments when the detectives go to their families and break the news that they have passed, and the pain and emotion in the detectives faces as a trail goes cold.

Which leads me to my last point. The detectives involved are actually pretty decent. I don’t know if it’s because they are on camera but they do aight. I am by no means a cop-lover and I especially dislike the regular beat cops who often terrorize our neighborhoods unjustifiably. I’ve ridden along with the NYPD so I know of which I speak. They’re glorified cowboys, wielding way too much power and way too little understanding about our communities. But that’s for another day. The first 48 detectives are truth-seekers. I can’t recall a time when I’ve seen them lie to a suspect to get a confession. And that generally goes down on the regular in interrogation rooms around the country.

See for yourself. Check out my girl Mason in action tonight at 10 on A&E.

Love changes and Best Friends become strangers...

My friend, who has been like a sister to me, flew in from LA to visit family and friends during the holidays. Her arrival got me thinking about our friendship and I concluded that if I met this girl today there is no way we would be friends. I think back to that March day in 1996 when I was the new girl in school and how easy it was for us to bond over our mutual love of General Hospital, Big Macs and boys. But time has changed a lot about us and we don’t have many common interest. I can say I love her dearly-but I’m definitely not liking her too much these days. This friendship makes me wonder what folks do at the point where they just want to let people go...

So around this time last year ‘Dis Friend (how she’ll be referred to from here on out) was getting serious talking to a boy in Los Angeles she met on, of all places, MySpace. This boy was crazy, and I told her so…in that supportive friend way of course. This boy went to jail for some crazy counterfeit money making scheme and ‘Dis Friend faithfully wrote him weekly, sent additional care packages, would wait up in the wee hours of the morning for a Collect Call from crazy jail boy #126579. Now in ‘Dis Friend’s defense, when she met him (left a message on his page) he wasn’t in jail…so I guess we can take a half point off her crazy card.

But it’s about history right? Understand there were good times, but who wants to read about those? I have lent ‘Dis Friend money, stood as a witness to her marriage to an illegal, listened to her tales of cocaine use, random sexual conquests and pregnancy scare. I’ve lived through her drunken episodes, fights between her parents (the physical kind were one ends up in the hospital), her atheism, her hatred of Christianity, her sudden weight loss plan-where there were life threatening complications, her suicide attempt our freshmen year in college. And really there is more, so much more I could tell, I’m just thankful she was diagnosed as bi-polar and can take pills to help regulate some of this craziness…

But there isn’t a pill for love. So while we lived together, within a two week period she decided to move out LA to make it work with newly released crazy jail boy. This fool told her that she should stop taking her meds because of the evilness that is the pharmaceutical companies and in the same breath he also told her that they could never have a future together. Um. Yeah. So why was she packing her bags? Why did she tell all our friends of this decision to move and not me-friend and roommate? Why was I the one who was left nearly homeless? Because that’s how ‘Dis Friend rolls. No consideration for others, completely selfish and when her mind is made up…ain’t no changing it.

After me actively avoiding her, we finally hung out this Saturday. We ended up going to a Catholic high school basketball game that her friend from her old job coached. While sitting in the bleachers, she told me that LA wasn’t working out (had a big falling out with crazy jail boy and he kicked her out), that she wasn’t sure how she was going to pay this month’s rent and car note (so broke as hell), how she missed home and she was moving back (it hasn’t even been a year yet). So I played it cool, listened and was feeling myself slipping back in my old SistaGirl friend role when she decided to drop a bomb on me.

‘Dis Friend asks if I remember when she had a crush on her coach friend over across the court. To which I replied: “Yes, didn’t he and his wife just have a baby?” To which she said: “Yes…”and goes on to reveal that she got him.

She grins from ear to ear

In shock, I asked her if the sex was everything she imagined, she giggled and said “Yes, all six times!” I asked her if she felt bad about being and an adulterer, and she flatly said “No. But it’s hard being the mistress.” Is it? Becuase I think it sucks to be the wife.

Oh, at that point I was so disgusted ya'll! I would have walked away if she hadn’t driven me there! Damnit! ‘Dis Friend is always amid drama…and quite frankly I’ve gotten so use to not having to hear, deal and care about it that I don’t want her to move back. And though I just want to walk away I wonder who will help pick up the pieces when things fall apart for her again. I feel guilty because I don't want it to be me.


See You In Seven