A Raging Road Scholar

Have you ever been driving and wondered what the hell the person in front of you did to get their drivers license?? (no one in the earthly realm would have been so foolish to approve them for road travel…right?...RIGHT?!) The person in front of you doesn’t seem to know the rules of the road. They drive too slow, don’t signal or have had their signal on for the last 10 miles, and are driving with their headlights off at 8:45 in the evening. You finally get a chance to pass them and when you look over, you notice they are texting on their Crackberry, reading the Washington Post, putting on make-up, smoking a Newport, and eating an extra long chili cheese coney from Sonic, all while noddin their head to the treble of Common’s Punch Drunk Love blasting from their crappy system.

I think I’m a pretty good driver. Matter of fact, I know I am. I give the courtesy wave when someone lets me over, I’ve gotten one speeding ticket in my whole driving career and I never have been in an accident. (intentionally hitting jaywalking pedestrians doesn’t count does it? But hey, they stepped out there all willy nilly like, they saw me coming and looked at me like I was supposed to stop…so I asked myself WWJD…and before I came to a conclusion…BAM…over the hood they went and then under my back tires as I backed up to see what was the damage) I know everyone is not as cautious in their driving as I am, but there are some things people are just supposed to know and do!

To further prove my point that there are idiots on the road a study shows that out of the 50 states and the nation’s capital, DC, MD, and VA ranked in the bottom 11 for the country’s worst drivers. With DC being ranked 50 out of 51, MD at 42 and VA at 40. Well the test was not based on actual driving, but rather on the knowledge of common sense traffic rules and regulations. I understand knowledge of the rules doesn’t necessarily directly collate to how people really drive, but I’ll bet my left lugnut that the bottom 10 states on the list have a higher rate of accidents per capita than any other state.

So here is my proposal. Everyone must take the written exam and the pass the little driving obstacle course (VA drivers got it too easy) every 2-3 years or at least at the period when your license expires. When your license expires, you should take the exams again to make sure you're up to date on traffic rules and regs and so someone else (not your nearly blind mama) can evaluate your driving.

Can’t pass the exams? - You can’t get your license! Period.

There shouldn’t be much of a problem since everyone is suppose to get better with experience. Afterall, Isn't it the “experienced” drivers that are masters of steering with their knees while eating their Taco Bell Chalupas? And yet it's these same “experienced” drivers who are also involved in the most accidents. It just seems like anyone can get a license if they know how to open the car door or have played Grand Theft Auto on their PS3. Sorry, I just aint cool being on the same road with you! Forgive me for wanting to get to where I'm going without incident. And many of you people are making that hard for me! Maybe my proposal will educate folks, and have them take driving seriously. And since knowledge is the key, maybe this enlightenment will positively reflect on the road-You know, with people staying alive and such.

What does the rest of the class think?

See how you'd do. Take the same exam that was used in the study. http://www.gmacinsurance.com/SafeDriving/

And if you didn't do well...then please just stay out my way!

-Mudslide
A Man

Stupid Is as Stupid Does

There are a lot of things that have shocked me about this adulthood thing. Like how much stuff costs-especially toilet paper! And subsequently how soon you have to change that roll. Now I totally understand why it’s often difficult to get more than one square of paper in a public bathroom! And after being conditioned to about 15 weeks of vacation thanks to my schoolin’, now the expectation is that I work through the summer and I beg for time off during that week between Christmas and New Years because someone needs to be in the office?! Oh, it’s hard ya’ll. So until senility kicks in and I can’t really remember my youth, I’m learning to cope with some of these aspects of being a girl in a grown up world. But what has shocked me the most has been how many stupid people have made it pass go and have been allowed to roam around in the same world with me! Where did all these idiots come from?!

Now I’m not talking about people who occasionally say or do stupid things. I mean I for one have called that dude I wasn’t supposed to and paid handsomely for it later (read: STUPID). But I’m talking about these people I work with and people I just happen to encounter that really can’t put 1 and 1 together to get any kind of sense, common or otherwise. Well…let me correct that, they get nonsense quite well. And it’s the nonsense that I can’t tolerate living with. I’m thinking that it would be nice if all the stupid folks could get together in a centralized location and meet and stay there…forever.

Am I being too radical? Hmmmmm. Maybe.

My mom is a property manager for public housing. Oh the stories that she tells about her residents…truly there is a different moral compass in Section 8 communities. Yesterday, Mom told me how she took one of her resident’s daughter to the doctor to treat a cough that would clear up for a time and then return. Now you might be thinking, why oh why was your mom taking this child to the doctor…well I’ll tell you. It’s because her mother is a stupid person! And the reason her mother is stupid is because her daughter (who is sixteen and a straight A student) spoke out against a man who was living in their house and beating on them…her mom included. So when it came down to choosing between “her man” and her child…mom dukes told the girl she needed to find another place to stay. Why? Short answer…because she’s stupid! But long answer was that she’s never been without a man, and well she wasn’t about to start that day. Lawd! Seriously? And so on the way to the doctor's office yesterday this young lady told my mom that she would hang out at friend’s house until late at night and then sleep in the neighborhood park. For three months this occurred! I mean there are just too many stupid people, slash so-called adults who should have been aware that this child was sleeping outside. Turns out this child has a serious thyroid condition and my mom and a social worker had to move hell and high water just to get the mother to sign consent papers to allow for them to take her daughter to treatment. This mother had a stank attitude about it too! What. The. Hell? How can a mother keep her life moving for three months without concern about where her child was? Why wasn’t this mother thankful that people were willing to step in and help when she didn’t feel like being bothered? This was just too asinine for me to understand.

But people like this "mother" our out here, walking among us!

So I seriously propose (and maybe if Bracky becomes president he can help me with this) that all of the idiots who walk among us should be branded with scarlet DAs on their foreheads. Then we (the intelligent citizens of America) round them up (a la Bellini style) and let them live someplace together, maybe in middle America. We could just put them in a place where they can live their lives like they're golden. A place that we can stop by on the way to the Grand Canyon on our summer vacations with our children. And when we get there we can all laugh and point as stupid tries to outwit a box of rocks. Oh, how nice it would be in a safe place away from these people, to stand back, watch and wonder how stupid a person can actually be.

See You In Seven

A Woman's Work

Last Friday Rum Punch used her grandmother’s explanation on why men, particularly black men, seem to be crawling away from their responsibilities as a board to dive into a complex issue that many ponder. And like most things, the definition of how a man walks, is relative in interpretation. For me, my definition of a man tells of a life with consistency and self sacrifice. But, as I look around for men who are willing to do what they don’t feel like doing for their children, spouses and community, men like grandfathers, it seems to me that a lot of males have yet to master manhood. But as Lord Hannibal and Introspective Goddess have commented, what about the women? Aren’t they getting sorrier too?

Hmmmm.

At the core, it just seems like people in general are functioning more with an “F what you heard, Imma do me” mentality. And with that respect and consideration for others weakens under growing egos. I am always taken aback when I meet people who truly feel the world owes them something just because they are here. These folks think that they should start immediately at the top, and that they deserve to bypass the process of making it. Say what? As a people who sought to crawl out of the fields of oppression the value of sacrifice, working as a collective and hoping for something better for the next generation was learned. Yet somewhere this story of us got muted, watered down and sold as a fairy tale. Stories about money, cars and clothes are sung louder than what granddaddy or momma did to keep the family together and strong. And so I wonder how we are to know what we are supposed to do in our families, our communities and in relationships when our cues are coming externally.

On the outside I feel like everyone is getting sorrier. We stopped listening to those who’ve already been there and done that because surely they didn’t know what they were talking about. And because now we are all grown and sexy we don’t have to give respect to get it. I have long believed that it is the woman’s job to set the tone of a relationship. Yet it is amazing to hear about women shocked and saddened that ole boy only sees her as a booty call…when yeah, on your first date your gave it up not knowing his last name. Or that ole boy only sees her as a punching bag…when yeah, you decided not to leave after the first time he beat you. Or that ole boy only sees you as a gold digger…when yeah, all you do is ask about his money, his car and clothes. Or that ole boy only sees you as his baby’s mama and not a wife…when yeah, that’s what you allowed him to think of you. So how mad can women be when men fail to meet the expectations that were never taught or that we never communicated?

As mothers, fighters, glue that's holding it together, daughters, life givers, sisters, teachers and friends we have to know our value. And we have to remind our males that we expect them to be men because we know what they can be. We all need to hear of and learn our worth. And that women, is going to be a mighty work that we must be willing to undertake.

See You In Seven