Survival of the Fittest

The snow that has blanketed the DC metro area has me thinking about human survival. Before the first snowflake fell in this blizzard, I joked with Rum Punch that people were hitting up the grocery stores like it was the end of the world. It seemed silly because it was just snow. Although the world hasn’t ended, things have definitely shut down to the point that I do wonder how we-semi suburban and urban folk would make it if a natural or war disaster broke out. In this area our basic struggle right now is going to the grocery store to get more milk and bread. But what would we do if there were no grocery stores, or roads to drive our cars, or electricity to heat our homes? Could we make it?

Personally I’m feeling a little ill equipped if I needed to get into survival mode. Sunday I attempted to walk to the local grocery store to get some milk and bread-feel a little stir crazy. It was treacherous journey down a semi plowed street. Unsure if my next step would be on sure footing or a patch of ice it was a godsend that a neighbor with a 4 wheel drive truck stopped to give me a ride to the grocery store. But back to survival…my friend felt that if a disaster struck we would have to go to some remote place to live off the land…he definitely didn’t think we could make it in the DC metro area, not enough animals. We would need to go to a place where we could hunt and fish. And that got me to thinking about cleaning and cooking whatever was hunted. And as ya’ll know from this I am just beginning to master electric and gas stove top cooking. For me to be subjected to cook on an open flame without the aid of my McCormick seasoning…how oh how would I survive?!

It seems like a different world when my grandmother speaks of scrubbing pots and pans with sand because there was no steel wool. Or when my 50 year old coworkers speak of dealing with their menstrual cycles without adhesive pads! It’s these little historic factoids that make me wonder how the settlers, slaves and ancient people made it in this here world. It’s the little things like steel wool and adhesive that have given us comfort and a better quality of life! But at the same time these creature comforts have dulled many of our innate fighting instincts. And that concerns me when I see my brethren in 2010 trying to recover from earthquakes or picking out sentimental items from their bombed out homes.

Sigh.

Even though I haven’t built a fire since my stint in as a Brownie or sewn anything other than a decorative pillow-I think if worst came to worst I could live off the land. Make it by any means necessary. But as I lay in my warm bed with my manufactured sweat clothes, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I got from the fridge, I am so glad that this is how I am making it through!

See You In Seven

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

This Just In! The word is that America is having some teeny tiny pesky economic problems. Ho Hum! Sound the alarms! I mean for years factories have closed, jobs have been outsourced to India and now you have to have a freaking PHD just to be somebody’s secretary! I wonder as I wander what was the news outlets’ first clue that something was wrong? Well now that the sh*t has hit Wall Street’s fan, the epicenter of all things Capitalism, folks have started to care because well it’s directly hitting them. Never mind about the po folks who got sucked into the American dream with adjustable rate mortgages who have been struggling for years. I mean shame on them knowing they only made $10 an hour, but double quadruple shame on the greedy folks who approved them for $250k mortgages.

But as for me, a single girl, who rents, and has her 401k in some “secure” government plan somewhere none of this is hitting me on “Main Street”. I mean for real for real, I’ve been broke for a long time so I’m not having suicidal thoughts nor am I writing my Congressman about approving the bail out plan. I’m just trying to exist and survive, but what else is new?

Now, I have noticed that my dollar doesn’t stretch like it use to. That now it costs a little extra for my tacos at Chipotle or for my Dove body wash, but that’s just the way things go. There are always periods of feast and famine. And regardless folks are always going to find a way to eat. As for me, I’ve decided to supplement some of my lunches on the town with some good ole peanut better and jelly samiches at my desk, just keep a few coins in my savings account and such-not to buy gas or anything. But to my surprise when I went to the PB&J aisle at the store the pickings were slim. I’m talking like communist Russia or New Orleans September ‘05. I wondered aloud to my grandma if everyone was starting implement the negro diet of peanut butter jelly, chicken ramen noodles, fried bologna sandwiches and red Kool Aid?

Hmmmm. Is anyone else seeing what I’m seeing? Maybe there is a new business opportunity here. I could help school some of these newly strugglin’ folks how to live their life like a have not. Teach them how get the cable hook up, or make a pack of bacon feed 30 folks. I could help them learn that there is really no different between orange juice and orange drink. What a success I’d be! Waaaaait. Damnit! I can’t get a loan for my start up Capital! This blows! Stupid banks and their stupid overestimations!

I’m writing my congressman...just as soon as I finish this sandwich!

See You In Seven