In Yo' Face

Do y’all know what makes me laugh/sticks in my craw/grinds my gears the mostest? No of course y’all don’t, so let me tell y’all. People who are dumb. No, scratch that. People who like to play dumb. Or maybe it’s people who have no self awareness about themselves. Or people who don’t want to face facts and subsequently reality. Or people who wanna act like their ish don’t stink. And you wanna be like, "well lean a lil' bit closer cause roses really smell like..." What? Everybody sing!

Here’s where I’m at. My co-“worker”, y’all remember her – well she’s still not doing any work. Whatev. I’ve made peace with that fact. Well yesterday she met with our boss to discuss next steps for the year and apparently our boss told her that our big manager and Deputy Director have observed that her work “bestie” is frequently over in our area chatting with her. “Can you believe that,” she said to me in what I’m hoping was a fake tizzy. (And then she continued to gripe about it this morning!!) “That’s crazy,” I responded. But really.

C’MON SON!

You don’t do noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo work! And everybody knows this. So, don’t you think that this is these white women’s path of least bytch ass resistance? They scared, so they won’t call YOU out on not working. So they’ll blame it on your homegirl. Maybe if she weren’t in your area soo much… then you would do some work. Yeah whatever. That ain't happening. But her actin' ignorant and oblivious has me lookin at her sideways. Literally. I have to tilt my neck when I'm talkin' to her cause she's not making sense.

So, yeah this is the same woman who talks so loud on the phone that I know that the main reason she decided to sell her house is because they closed down the KFC in her neighborhood, but she stay making sounds of annoyance if someone raises their voice above a whisper. The same woman who has practically no hair who still makes the conscious decision to wear a weave and let the tracks show, but is quick to talk about someone’s outfit, cheap shoes, or bad hair day. The same woman who just this morning asked about this portly guy who has a baby on the way – “who gave him some?” While I been sitting at my desk wondering this whole time who gave YOU some thus causing you to be somebody’s mommy!!

And it makes me wonder about people who can see everyone else so clearly, but not themselves. Who have an opinion about what everyone else is doing, ain’t doing, need to do to get they life right – meanwhile you looking at them like homie, do you need a mirror? I mean I have a small one in my purse, just to get us started. Yes, I think that unless our names are Jesus Christ, there is a part of us (some small, some HUGE) that judges people. I know so many of us fix our lips, crack our knuckles, and get into a fighting stance, when we got something good bad to say bout somebody. And while I know that I am nowhere near perfect, here’s what I also know about myself:

I am a true a Leo who can be terribly selfish on Monday. And yet totally selfless on Thursday. I can’t whisper. And I have a loud laugh. I lurve, lurve, lurve to wear cute skirts and dresses paired with unique shoes and handbags. And I know when I look fierce! And when my hair looks a mess. I can make all kinds of people laugh. I like pina coladas and laughter in the rain. Neither of those things is true. I have done some ho ish in my lifetime. I have held grudges. And I have played dirty. I know when I don’t be working hard. And when I don’t be working at all. Like right now as I type this post… I can be a know-it-all. And I can be shy. I am nice. But when I'm mean, you don't want it with me. I empathize. And I judge. And I am full of opinions and contradictions.

But one of the crucial things I think I've realized as I get grown is the importance of seeing where you fit, your part, your responsibility, your role in the equation of life. It can't always be somebody else's fault. Pointing fingers, being catty, playing the blame game - those are all easy - that inner work - that's hard. And maybe people don't do it because they know what they'll find, they know it won't be pretty, and they don't like it.

But it's always gonna be easier and seemingly make you feel better, when you make someone else lower. Bring them down a peg or two. Smile in their face and talk about them as they walk away. Recently after I sent a friendly email to a co-worker who is not known for being friendly, crazy co-worker told me that I am just too nice. Heh. Mkay. If only she knew what I be keepin inside. But I just smiled and nodded. Cause you know what they say, if you ain't got nuffin' nice to say. Say nuffin.

That's my time y'all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!