when a woman's fed up

Way back in July, I told ya'll about one of my favorite artists who was about to blow, Jazmine Sullivan. Sho nuff right after my post her first single, "I Need You Bad," started in heavy rotation across the country. In honor of the success of my predictions and her music career, I give you her second single, "Bust Your Windows." Enjoy.

the homestretch

The final debate will air tonight and I’m actually looking forward to it. Only for the simple fact Barack has finally presented an economic plan with concrete points that middle America can digest hallelujah! I’ve been trying to get him to give a 5-point plan over the summer, but I guess his plan has come right on time. Although, some folks are disappointed about him willing to allow Americans to tap their 401K without penalty up to $10,000—I know for some folks that’s all they need to hear. Remember elections are all about winning, particularly in the United States with this winner-take-all system. Many Americans are single issue voters something Democrats tend to forget. And considering the US economy is cash strapped, that economic point will resonate with voters.

Now, Bellini ain’t nobody’s fool—the latest polls have Obama up by 14 points per CNN. I talked to two different people last night and one guy heard he’s up by 12 points and another woman heard 10 points. Something in the milk ain’t right. Although, I never was surprised about the strength of Barack’s candidacy—he’s still a black man and for him to command these numbers when race is still the humongous elephant in the room ain’t settling right with me. Either pollsters aren’t asking the right questions or they aren’t probing for the right answers. It is evident that there is a solid electorate that won’t pull the lever or touch the screen for a brotha. However, this same electorate that won’t vote for a brotha hasn’t really indicated what they will do on election day. See, many of them already feel Obama will win and that maybe cause for some of them to stay home hallelujah! And eventhough that is wishful thinking on my part, since day 1 I’ve expressed that this election will be close. But like Michelle Obama told urban radio a few weeks ago, this election can’t be close – it’s got be a decisive win. Either Barack wins or he doesn’t, nothing muddled in between.

And trust me, McCain is definitely helping Team Barack by resurrecting ol’ business. This Ayers stuff is old news, but you can count on the GOP to resort to their tactics. There’s just one problem with executing that plan – it’s the economy stupid! White folks could care less if the brotha was the boogeyman. Perhaps, I should have George Will expound on it...

"This, McCain and his female Sancho Panza say, is demonstrated by bad associations Obama had in Chicago, such as with William Ayers, the unrepentant terrorist. But the McCain-Palin charges have come just as the Obama campaign is benefiting from a mass mailing it is not paying for. Many millions of American households are gingerly opening envelopes containing reports of the third-quarter losses in their 401(k) and other retirement accounts -- telling each household its portion of the nearly $2 trillion that Americans' accounts have recently shed. In this context, the McCain-Palin campaign's attempt to get Americans to focus on Obama's Chicago associations seems surreal -- or, as a British politician once said about criticism he was receiving, "like being savaged by a dead sheep."

And if you know me, you know that George Will can get my blood boiling at times, but in his op-ed piece McCain in a Bear Market – he got it right.So, with less than 3 weeks out it’s about to get ugly. So, tune in tonight, be’cuz surely tonight will be the barometer for the madness that we will ensue in the coming weeks.

cheers,

Bellini

The Loneliest Number

“I am not depressed!”

This was my Y-chromosome friend’s retort when I asked him if he would ever go see a movie alone.

Previously in life, I had similar foolish preconceived notions about being out and about in the world all alone. But since I still ain’t married, nor am I part of a couple I recently took myself to a matinee showing of a film I wanted to see because no one I knew was available. Folks, this was a huge step for me! Even though I’m an only child and can do things by my lonesome…movies are a different animal all together. I am that person who enjoys chatting it up when the movie starts…so I wondered what I was going to do to make it through 90 minutes in the dark with no one to share my insightful commentary with. I knew random strangers probably wouldn’t appreciate my “Oh no she didn’t!” exclamations…now that I think about it, I don’t even think my friends like it too much when I do that.

But anyway… To my surprise I had a great time. I laughed out loud and gasped when appropriate. I entertained myself with my witty commentary. All in all, it was like watching television at home. I’m just glad I didn’t miss my chance to do something that I wanted to do!

Though I have found that some men (and by some I really want to say most) have a problem with being all by their lonesome. Once, after church I went to Boston Market to get me chow on and as I was leaving I ran into my friend and his lady. Upon greeting me he started looking around behind me, he then inquired who I had come to eat with. I said no one. You could have knocked him down with a feather ya’ll. “You came here alone?! No one would have come with you?” Well then I explained that I didn’t ask anyone else to come along, but I decided to stop in because I was hungry. But he just couldn’t believe that I was there alone, or that I didn’t have the decency to get my food to-go and eat at home. Okay, of course he didn’t say the word decency…but it really bothered him I was there alone.

And just like my Y-chromosome friend who excused my solo tendencies as some crazy woman behavior. For a man to go out alone he must be disturbed or depressed. Foolishness. Now I haven’t graduated to dining and movie watching during peak date times. Nor have I made plans to vacation solo…yet. But why not? Not everyone is getting married or have friends who are available with shared interests. Like the poor, the single will always be among us. So lets stop assuming that person alone is a depressed, psychotic loser… and maybe just a person determined not to miss out on living.

See You In Seven

You Can't Lose Something You Never Had

Last week Sunday I attended my first MJB concert. If I say she gave an amazing performance I would be understating the FANTASTIC, FIERCE, FABOLOUS performance she gave. (I am officially an MJB fan for life...not that I don’t have all of her albums already.)

While waiting in line, my friend commenced a conversation with the couple in front of us about the subjects of Mary's songs. Not to my surprise, the guy says "she writes songs for the ladies...and that gets on my nerves sometimes."

Well that is right Mr. X!
She says the things that we don't want to hear but need to.
Thanks Mary.

For example, the lyrics from her song The Love I Never Had. When I tell you these lyrics hit home, I mean they rocked me to the core. She had a point. Sometimes we are so distracted by other emotions we don't even realize it...but you can't lose something you never had.

You know sometimes

There comes a time in your life

When you love something

You got to let it go

And even though

You might feel there's still something there

You have to wake up

Stop leaving in a dream

Cause it's over now

You got to think about you

I have always wondered why

Why I can't live without you babe

And I'm longing to be your lady

I understand that you are leaving

Please don't live here without me baby

Cause I think I might go insane

Cause everybody needs someone to love

And I know that it's true

And I know that it's you

I don't understand

Why you can't be my man

So I better wake up

Stop living in a dream

Yes I better wake up

Cause I can't lose the love I never had

Yeah I better wake up

As painful as it seems

Yes I better wake up

I can not lose the love I never had.

- Mary J Blige

Try to keep this in mind ladies!
Peace :)

Two Drink Maximum

There was a time when Rum Punch and liquor were synonymous (heh, heh, no pun intended). Seriously, I Rum Punch used to could drank! Not just drink, but drank. It was common knowledge that if I were there at your spot then alcoholic beverages needed to be had. And it got to the point that if I didn’t have a beverage in my hand, if I took a freakin’ night off, people would be like, “What’s the matter with you Rum Punch, how come you ain’t drankin?”

Oh yes, I was the resident alocoholic © Eddie King Jr. from the Five Heartbeats… I’ll admit it. And even though I knew that my family has substance abuse issues I chose to pretend like my drinking wasn’t a real problem. Because in my mind it really wasn’t. I didn’t have any serious issues with it. I was never out of control with it. It’s not like I drank every day. But when I did, I drank. A lot. Sometimes too much. Not so much that I made a fool out of myself, but way more than I should have. But as I got out of the college atmosphere and gradually out of the party mode and stopped going to late night happy hours on the regular, my drinking declined.

And now I’m soft y’all. Now, two drinks will make me very tipsy, whereas I used to take numerous shots in rapid fire succession. Now, I prefer to stay in my house and have a glass of wine with my daddy. Yes, we have our own lil' bootleg wine tasting. And if I do go out I have learned the art of pacing because I just can’t do it like I used to! Recently I hung out with a girlfriend from college (a true drinking buddy), and we tried to do it like we used to. Let’s just say the next morning was filled with curses and regrets. I mean who were we kidding? We weren’t two young girls who only had to worry about midterms and finals. We were grown ass women who had real responsibilities and whose livers were begging for mercy.

And to add insult to injury while I was in Atlanta we went to a spot we used to frequent in college where the liquor is cheap and the wings are tasty! I asked for a rum and coke. And the waiter practically brought me straight rum! I was like, “I’ma need some more coke.” For realz. It pained me to say these words. I, Rum Punch needed more coke? I was like is this me? There was a time when I drank their long islands like it was water. What the hell was wrong with me back then? And what happened to me?

I suppose that everyone gets grown in their own way. I mean there comes a time when you have to put the childish things away, whatever that is to you. Of course this happens to different people at different times. But for me, I realized that I couldn’t be that “resident alocoholic” anymore. I couldn’t be that chick who drank in excess on the regular. I had to save that shit for special occasions. Like last night… LOL! Damn it. Now, this morning I gotta headache…

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

SHOUTS OUT TO MINT JULEP FOR PASSING THE LOUISIANA BAR!! DRINKS ON ME! Now isn't that a shame?

single woman's burden

I’m one of those women who likes to stay “friends” with exes. And when I say friends I mean call randomly from time to time just to see how said exes are making out in life. Most often my relationships start off on the friend level so I usually like to keep the “friend love” alive after we part ways.

One of these exes I call once every 6 to 12 months just to say hello. We went to law school at the same time so I’m especially interested in what he's up to professionally and like to keep the networking connection alive. Feel free to debate the utility of and justification for my random phone calls. Or whether I should expect him to still be taking my calls after 5+ years.

Usually when I call Mr. X, we talk about the legal job market, how much we love or hate our respective jobs and sprinkle in an “are you dating anyone?” for politeness. This time around, Mr. X had some news in the love department. Homeboy done jumped the broom! My first thought was damn Gina! Is everyone I know married, on their way down the aisle or actively looking? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a love hater. I love love, weddings and all that jazz. So I was genuinely happy for him. The curious kitty in me wanted to ask all kinds of questions like where’d you meet her, how long did ya’ll date, what she look like, married dude really? I asked none of these cause that would be creepy and weird. Instead I simply congratulated him and continued the conversation.

But in the way that married folks, boo-ed up sistafriends, and random black men do, he proceeded to hit me with the “Why are you still single?”

Boooo, Mr. X, booooooo! As if singleness was some disease to be cured. Some temporary state to be suffered through until you hooked up with someone and all your cares in life were erased.

I stumbled through the generic you know I’m just working on me man and the other obligatory men don’t get me. But looking back I wish I had said something a little bit more “Yaaa trick Yaaaa!”

My single ladies out there feel me. I held in my “Nigga why?” and just kept it civil. Cause that's what we as single women do. When asked, we retreat and feel ashamed for not having some magical I AM WOMAN answer. Maybe mofo's should stop asking cause actually it's kinda rude. Folks don't go around asking they obese auntie who's been adding on 25 lbs each year, why you still fat? That cousin we all got who only calls when he locked up looking for that bail money, yeah him? We don't ask him, Why you still broke?

Exactly! So how bout ya'll stop asking me why I'm still single?

the end.

the tail end of a saga

I represent less than 2.5% of the population, call me naive, but I didn't think he did it. Now whether he knew who did it -- is another story. But as the late, great Johnnie Cochran said " if it doesn't fit, you must acquit"! So the fact of "...the combination of bloody gloves that didn't fit, a cop lying in court and forensics expert Henry Lee testifying to finding "something wrong" with the collection of evidence provided enough reasonable doubt for acquittal (courtesy of Hartford Courant)." End of story... well not quite.

So, after 13 years-- Lawd i tend not to be superstitous, but the omen was there I guess-- he was found guilty of armed robbery and kidnapping. Oh, Orenthal James Simpson -- The Juice, aka OJ--what has befallen you? I really don't know what to say.

I was in middle school lying on the living room floor, the night of the chase. I remember it like yesterday. Talking to my best friend, trying to figure out why the LAPD are chasing a white Bronco all across LA's freeway. Holding my breath, not knowing if the cops were trigger happy and were going to shoot...Little did I know the chase was the beginning, not the end of the story.

And so when the news out of Las Vegas broke out about the beseiged NFL star, journalist Stan Simpson of the Hartford Courant captured my sentiments best, "Many, like me, who were captivated by the murder trial, took a pass on following this Vegas misadventure. We're OJ-ed out. African Americans and whites could pretty much agree on this after L.A.: We wanted Simpson to fade to black." Yup, that about sums it up.

I reckon, some people like drama, strife, and all that ain't right in life. And I think OJ is one of them. So, farewell Orenthal James, you've been juiced out. So, raise your champagne glasses folks as we toast to the drama of our lives being over although he is appealing the verdict.

cheers,

Bellini

P.S. Damn, you know Johnnie is doing somersaults in the grave.