Finishing the Race

It might be because the seasons are changing, or the fact that we will soon be signing off the 5 spot, but I find myself wondering “What’s next?”

You know what I mean?

Think about all the things you have planned for yourself, from the initial formation of an idea to finally accomplishing what you set out to do. It’s quite a consuming and often laborious process. I remember during my senior year so much of my time, money and energy went into preparing for prom. There was finding a dress, finding a date, finding a limo, who’s going to chip in and pay for the limo, where are we eating dinner, who’s going to fix my hair and do my make-up? And then after months of preparation it was over. Just like that. There were so many things that needed to be taken care of! All this for just one night of my life! And what came next? Well graduation, college, and life- with all of it’s bells and whistles, highs and lows, joys and sorrows.

My pastor preached an excellent sermon a few weeks ago about answered prayers and it had me floored. I won’t get all preachy with ya’ll but he talked about a couple who had prayed for a child for years and years, had defined and even labeled their lives as the childless old couple. But when they finally conceived a child, and stood face to face with no longer being barren, but fruitful parents-they didn’t know how to act. I was on the floor because initially I was like how could they react anyway other than with joy?! But then I got to thinking about myself. Much of my twenties have been marked by, and dare I say I let these twenties be defined by my situations. The money I didn’t have, the debt I did have, the degrees I didn’t have, the job I wanted, the spouse I didn’t have and on and on. And now that I am at a point where things have changed, I don’t know how to act! What is one to do when once heavy burdens are lifted, and dreams are realized and promises fulfilled? It’s almost like when the slaves toiled in the South, were abused by their captors, fought for a freedom they had distantly hoped for and when they got that freedom-some wanted to stay on pickin’ master’s cotton! And as foolish as that is, I can understand it because for so long they knew nothing else.

And as people folks we can get use to certain things. The friends that don’t treat us right. The bosses that don’t appreciate what we do. The struggle to make ends meet. The carrot we’ve keep chasing. The plans that we keep making for that one day when… But little thought goes into what to do when the ends are meet, we grab that carrot and that one day arrives. It can be scary when we to come to that place where we get all that we hope for and deserve because it’s the unknown. After struggling for so long… After being abused for so long…After being a slave for so long… now what?

But I believe that change is the one thing we can count on in this here life of ours. And I am accepting the fact that we are (well let me just speak for me-I am) continual works in progress, being and becoming our best. And once a dream is realized, even if it took nearly a decade to get there, there is no need to fear what’s going to happen next! Why? Because you deserve to cross that finish line, grab your trophy, get your photo took…and then start planning how to win the next race.

See You In Seven

I Believe the Children are Our Future

For some reason there has been some hubbub over the President’s speech to America’s children today. I don’t understand it. Is this how it’s going to be anytime anyone dares to do something new? Never in all my years of education can I recall a president addressing me or my peers…but how can it hurt? It’s not like he’s going to be talking about healthcare and shoving some type of AGENDA down the throats of America’s little ones. He’s basically telling them to get their stuff straight and make the best of the opportunity given them.

Here here Mr. President!

I mean have you talked to a young person lately? Lord, please help us! As much information available to them for their reading consumption, a lot of these kids are lacking! Well, as Rum Punch can attest, a lot of these kids can’t read to begin with. And so there is a lot wrong with education and parenting and our communities as a whole, which we all know and talk about. After all back in our day there was money for music and art programs in our schools, we did what our parents told us, and we wanted to help old ladies cross the streets with groceries. But alas… that was then.

During the election I chuckled in my soul as Mr. Obama spoke of hope and change because I wasn’t a believer. As a Christian I think hope and change are great and exist, but could one man change the World? Um, yes, but was it this man? Um, no. In my mind it was going to take more than hope to change the political system that runs the democratic republic government of the United States of America. But one of the most positive things about Obama’s election was the shift in the psyches’ of the children. There are children who are being born who will only know a multi-racial President and that means something in a nation that is no longer just Black and White. And it means something to tell a room of multi hue children that they can be anything they aspire to be and to finally mean it…because the Presidency is possible.

And I am a little excited by the President’s speech today! I like that addressing the youth of my country is important to him. I don’t think children will instantly straighten up and do right because he gave an “It’s Cool to stay in School” message. But so often the youth are cast aside and made to feel like they don’t matter…when in reality they are the ones who will take care of us when we are no longer able.

Of all the high schools in the DC Metropolitan area, I am glad the President is speaking at Wakefield High School. I don’t know why that high school was chosen but I do know that from outward appearances it’s not the best school compared to the schools found on the North side of Arlington County. The children of immigrant and low income families attend Wakefield, and though it’s not a Lean On Me type of place, it would be just as easy to write the students who attend there off. But I know that good things can come from any place, even places that need a new coat of paint and better landscaping. And so today I sit in my cubicle swelling with pride because the first multi-racial President will be addressing America’s children from Wakefield High School…the school I graduated from! I couldn’t hope for anything better! Go Warriors!

See You In Seven

There's Something About This Moment

At the time that I am writing this, I am debating about braving both the cold and the crowds to go downtown to watch a moment in history that few would have believed was possible even a mere decade ago. I will admit that I wasn’t a believer. Who was this dude from Chicago? When others said “Yes We Can” I wondered if they still lived in the America that I lived in. The America that allowed us to be lynched, the one where Emmitt Till was brutally murdered, the country that still enslaved us as sharecroppers, in it's factories and as surrogate mommas to it's children. But it seems that this country was ready for something different, finally. Mr. Obama was the right person at the right moment. Yet, I am curious about what will be written on the next pages of history after this day. Mr. Obama is just a man who has a formidable task ahead. I pray that the American public gives him a realistic chance. He doesn’t have a magic wand that will make it all better. He doesn't have the ability to make everyone happy. But he does speak of hope that people can believe in. And after the years that we’ve had, so many people are finally hopeful and it’s a great thing to witness. There is something about this moment ya’ll. What do we do now that our hopes and prayers birthed a dream realized?




I guess just stand back in amazed disbelief...

See You In Seven

hope on dope

about a month ago, i pondered the effect/affect that Barack Obama would have on the average ambitious young Black man as it relates to his relationship picks. i hoped that YBM would start looking for their own personal michelle's and stop defaulting to the brain dead eye candy. now it seems that the Obama has effect has spread to local politics in some interesting ways. how so?

well, during the election season, it was not uncommon for local, state and national politicians, both democrats and republicans, to co-opt the changey mchoperson message that made Obama so popular. and some of that was to be expected, right? during any presidential election year, the candidates down the ticket will often ride the coattails of the nominated commander-in-chief-to-be, in the hopes that all levels of government will reflect the values and ideals of the man on top.

but the thing i've found most interesting is that the Obama juice continues to flow, even now after the election season has been put to bed and the next major round of races aren't set until 2010. for example, last night i attended a meet and greet for a friend of mine who is contemplating a run for mayor of new orleans. it was a small gathering of 30 to 40 people, primarily between the ages of 20 and 40, with almost every ethnicity represented. while i think my friend is passionate about what he does in his field, i didn't necessarily think of him as the mayor of nola before last night especially given the nature of politics in this city. but at the event, it was as if Obama himself came down from on high and anointed my friend to run this race...seriously.

the woman who opened for him began her spiel by invoking Obama in all his glory, the idea that while Obama has reached the ultimate height, we, the masses, can not sit ideally by and let him do all the work. no! we must take to the streets and start the revolution. or not. more like we each should become involved in the political process in our own corners of the world. the urgency of now demands it!

and as i stood there caught up in the rapture of her words i had to pinch myself. this hope shit is contagious. addictive even. almost cultish. and my friend had not even uttered a word yet. afterwards, i watched as a woman came up to him and told him how inspired she was to have heard his words. and how excited she was that he was running for mayor. and i thought to myself, wow. really!?! ok! i've known him for a little minute so it's weird to see him make this transition from do-gooder to politician do-gooder (oxymoron maybe?) Obama certainly made us all believe it could be done. with his hope and si se puede...

the full ramifications remain to be seen but its clear that Obama has inspired a generation of folks who previously toiled for justice outside of government to contemplate infiltrating the machine and working for change from within. i guess they've got it...a more potent grade of hope than i've ever seen before.

what say you?

Life Before Death

Yesterday my homegirl called me and we engaged in one of our usual discussions about what's going on and what you been up to and so forth. Midway into our conversation, she calmly says to me "Today I realized that I am going to die alone." I'm like why are you talking like that? She told me that she reached this "aha moment" while choking on her sandwich and having no one around to rescue her. I knew that her kids were home at the time; I'm sure they would help her in such a situation and suggested she make sure they learn the Heimlich maneuver. But my girl was not amused. She said that when she meant alone, she meant not having that special person to grow old with. And she went on to say that even if she was apart from that special person at the time she died, she would not feel alone because she'd know that person loved her wherever they were. I reassured her that her concern was a bit premature given that we're barely thirty yet and still have a lot of life to live.

Or so we hope.

As easy as it is to acknowledge that tomorrow is not promised, it is just as easy to take today for granted. The truth of the matter is I have no idea how much life myself or anyone else has to live. We hope, pray, and plan for longevity without knowing if we'll ever achieve it at all. And even though death plays a huge role in all of our lives, most of us do our best to tiptoe around the subject for as long as possible as if that will keep it further away or stall it for some time.

Unless you have a terminal illness, there is no way of knowing when your time will come. So how can we prepare ourselves for such an event? Some folks purchase insurance policies and have wills drawn up to protect their assets and secure financial support for their families. That's all good but I'm more concerned with the mental and emotional aspect.

Stick with me here... I promise it ain't as dark and stormy as it may seem thus far.

Ten years ago, I had to engage in an exercise where I was asked to write my own eulogy. I could make up whatever I wanted... D&S dedicated her life to social activism and fighting for the rights of those less fortunate in her community. She also became the first female DJ to bless the airwaves of commercial radio in the DMV. She leaves behind a devoted husband, three loving children, and five precious grandbabies. You get the point. The purpose of the exercise was to identify how you want to be remembered so that you could start taking the necessary steps today to live that life.

That was one of the most eye opening experiences ever for me. It made me realize that we truly only have one shot at this life we've each been blessed with and we never know when our time will run out. As a chronic procrastinator, I have to remind myself from time to time that I won't always be able to put something off until tomorrow. I would be more devastated by dying without accomplishing certain things in my life than I would be by dying alone. But that's just my screwed up way of thinking.

I wish I saved a copy of that eulogy from ten years ago but it's never too late to start on a new one. I plan on starting on it today so that I can get to working on it today. Tomorrow is a beautiful wish that I always hope will come true.

How do you want to be remembered?


Tumultuously Yours,
Dark & Stormy

My Audacity to Hope

I know it’s January but Dizzzzzzaum it’s cold! Layering is the word of the season when the high temperatures are less than freezing and hot coffee purchased from the shop is lukewarm by the time it’s sipped at your desk. I was seriously contemplating using sick leave today just so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the frigid temperatures. Ahhhh, just to stay warm under the covers of my bed, safe and secure from all alarms! Because you know sometimes you just don’t want to deal with stuff...cold things in particular, like the weather, people or even the chilling business of office politics. Ah yes, no matter how much we just try to be gosh darn individuals and just do our job we all become candidates subjected to approval ratings determined by our coworkers…

In 2005 I got me a good government job. Woo hoo! The benefits! The stability! The good times that I was sure to have! Ha! I was surprised to see how many non black folks held higher level positions. So when I noticed that that the mailroom crew, the folks in our plants, facilities and the administrative support staff were mostly held by folks that looked like me, I realized that Masta and his plantation hadn’t disappeared just because folks had marched to get in the doors. And so through a series of events that I’m sure I’ll write about later on in life, I was part of the admin staff, promised that it was a position were I could blossom and grow, a position where I could keep on stepping up the rings of the ladder so that one day I could be all that I could be…

But then I started talking to some of my Sistagirls in the same position. You know how we like to talk whilst we work, just to learn what exactly we have gotten ourselves into. Wow. If ever there were a bitter and sometimes brazen cast of characters in this bunch. These women were quick to tell me of all the glass ceilings that they had hit in their careers. All the managers who had promised them opportunities to grow, just as soon as they finished typing that business letter or made copies for the conference. No one really had a hopeful story to tell except in the one or two who were able to ascend after 10 or 15 years of trying! They basically were telling me I had been a victim of a classic bait and switch.

So I started thinking about what I wanted for me, but I’ll tell you you’d be surprised, but other folks have plans for you too. One manager pulled me in her office and outlined her plan for my life that included five more years of admin support and then maybe a higher level job in her group, because she could recognize my potential. So if I have potential and you see that now, why do I have to wait? (Yes, Bracky O- I understand brother). Ya’ll know I thanked her graciously for having a plan for me and tapped danced right on out of her office. And then I decided to run! I was getting off this plantation; but before I quit I was going to first try to break through the glass.

There were so many tear filled phone calls to my mama who’s down south. Every story about the craziness on my job was met with a warm platitude of hope, or a statement that my situation could be different from the others…”You never know, baby” she said. Arrrgh! I wasn’t trying to hear that mess! I wanted her to get hyped and pissed that her one and only baby was being treated as a second class employee. I wanted her to agree that system was built to keep me down because that’s what happened to the Sistagirls...so surely that’s what was gonna happen to me if I let it! Mommas are wise ya’ll. And eventually my mother stopped saying anything, other than “Okay, Amaretto”.


Well after months of applying for new jobs, interviewing, being told “No, but don’t take it personally.” After months of wondering if I was crazy for thinking I could do more with my life then what I was currently doing. After months of acting how I must and leaving my Sistagirl attitude at home. After months of just being depressed because it seemed like I wasn’t going anywhere and everything on the outside conflicted with what I knew on the inside. After months campaigning and trying to show others that I had what it takes, even though I felt they should have already known about me. After months of getting everyone on the prayer line…I got word that I had been promoted, 7 levels higher thousands of dollars more in my salary! I’m still shocked that I have been able to breakthrough that glass ceiling and to do it in 3 years!

So today is my first day in my new position. Sad that I was going to call out sick right?! I know. It is just amazing to me ya’ll that despite the odds and what usually happens to employees like me, my story gets to have a different ending. My momma was right. That despite what people say or think there is always the possibility. That small chance. That hope in spite of…







Even in my own life I’ve seen the power of a maybe.




See You in Seven