she and your man pt 2 (or link of the week)

so a few weeks ago, i wrote about cheating with married men. and double standards. and alicia keys.

i wondered where was the outrage for ms. keys for her goings on wit swizz beats. and wouldn't you know it a few days later, mashonda came wit the "truth." like mmmmmmhmmmm, told i knew there was more to this story!

but before i could write a brilliant post about it, the champ over at verysmartbrothas.com beat me to the punch. i must admit he did a much better job than i would have and managed to incorporate the title of one of the greatest romantic comedies ever made.

r&b antistar mashonda put alicia keys on twast (twitter blast) for pursuing a relationship with mashonda’s husband, swizz beatz.

inspired by a note on keys’ twitter account asking “in love, is it better to go for the choice that is smart or the choice that has spark?”, mashonda fired back, accusing the poor man’s beyonce of (paraphrasing) “extreme and blatant selfishiness for openly pursuing a man that’s married with children”. she also implied that keys’ music makes her a hypocrite and a fraud, since theres nothing empowering or pro-woman about boning another woman’s husband.

source: vsb.com

basically mashonda told alicia bout her self in the sweetest sugar honey iced tea way. but also acknowledged that every adult in the triangle had a role to play. including alicia keys. i don't know her personally but from my point of view, the outsider of the marriage needs to fall back. way back. no matter how strong the attraction. how unlike anything you've ever felt before it feels. if it's meant to be then taking a moment to breath and let the married party get their ducks and divorces in a row won't make it not so. it might just take a little longer.

an anonymous commenter to my last post said it best:

Preoccupation with society's inequitable treatment of adulterers (who said that?) is really beside the point and probably not worth trying to comprehend when establishing your own standards and conduct. Legal separation, to me, is not merely administrative. Rather, it is a transient and very personal stage of a couple's relationship - much like engagement - during which I would not recommend the intentional introduction of a third party. A commitment as significant as marriage is worth an exercise in patience and self-control for all currently and prospectively involved.

listen up alicia. and now, according to missjia.com, alicia has the nerve to launch a new blog to "uplift women and increase positivity" titled IAmSuperwoman.com. *blank stare*

i'm gon go a head and tell ya'll i was never feelin' alicia keys anyway. i'm a bit of a hater.
but what say ya'll?

Love is Never Straight Forward, Pt. 1

"I think I understand..." she says sober the next morning after an evening of drinking wine on an empty stomach. “Babe, we don't need to talk about it anymore and I understand why. I probably shouldn't have tried to have the conversation in the first place.”

You see when Shauna gets around John, her heart starts to flutter and the metaphor is no more figurative. There is undeniably chemistry in the air when these two souls unite. He feels at home, she is at home. (chuckle)

However, there is an elephant in the room. One that Shauna seems to be oblivious to and one that John can’t shake every time he looks at her. Shauna’s a smart woman and she has been told the cautionary tale many times by several friends the dangers of messing with John. But she only chooses to acknowledge the one that makes for good drama television. “He’s a man-whore!” and I quote, says one of John’s supposed friends.

Really? Shauna knows John. She has heard the stories of conquest from both sides, been bcc on some of the emails and text messages. She is, like I said before, a smart woman and can form her own opinions. So is he a man-whore? Not at all. John is a handsome man that has enough charisma to charm the panties-off a twice-divorced, mother of none, owner of three spaniels, daughter of a drug-lord on a bad day. (chuckle) Yes, he has had his share of conquests but so as Shauna.

The comments that Shauna fail to acknowledge were “But you are still married!?!” “So what does that have to do with anything? We are separated.” Shauna defends. (sigh) Oh, Shauna, lords knows you love John but after almost a year of separation you are still not divorced. Even John himself, as asked you… "How long does it take to get a divorce?” Could you answer that question without biting your tongue?

Think about the comments Johns probably acknowledges about you from his friends. “Ma’ boy, slow your roll on that piece. If she really was over the Mr. she would have already taken care of that.” Which is true, isn’t it Shauna? We can only imagine the conflict inside that causes John to step back even when he wants to step forward. There are no more excuses left. More than 10 months later, “we work together”, “we are just fvck buddies”…don’t apply anymore because neither of these things has been going on for almost 4 months.

What has been going on is…Shauna and John have been spending quality time together. Getting to know each other and seeing if they could truly be friends without any awkward circumstances. But do tell how these circumstances could be less awkward? These two could only be together in the same space but for so long before the pressure is too much. Shauna wants to spill her over flowing emotion filled heart all over him and John wants to revert back to safer grounds.

A few more drops of that wine in an empty stomach…

“I can’t take it anymore. I want to be with you. Don’t you want to be with me?”

“I do but I can’t. Believe me you are not alone in this struggle.”

“Well then, why?”

“I can’t talk about this right now, babe.”

Stay tuned for part deux...funny how life can be as good as fiction.

Much luv until next week...peace :)