I know that it’s something that we all have to do, especially for the little things like food, clothing and shelter. But I woke up sad this morning ya’ll. Work sucks! I know we all have our burdens to bare, so I’m not ‘specting someone to come along and console me by making me a pot of tea, handing me a box of tissues, while writing a check payable to Amaretto Jenkins-for living expenses, travel, and whatever else-for the rest of her life (Oprah, this doesn’t apply to you girlfriend-feel free!) For five days a week I feel like I’m the monkey at the bottom of a pole. The top monkeys are looking down, seeing a bunch of smiling faces (including mine) but when I look up…well I’m seeing a whole lot of ass holes! I just don’t understand how somewhere between the carefree days of childhood and now, I got strapped down with adulthood. Words like responsibility, duty and commitment are part of my vernacular and work ethic. I know-work ethic-it’s scary right? But I’ve got a lot of unused sick days to show that I have one. At times, I feel like a stupid hamster running on a wheel to nowhere…but I keeps running because of the small little treat I get at the end of 80 hours-minus go ole Uncle Sammy’s cut of course. Work, like any relationship, gets frightening when the thrill is gone, and for me it’s gone so far away.
I don’t want you guys to get it twisted, I’m not anti work. I know some highly esteemed folks out there think people of color are difficult to work with, because we’re lazy and all. But since I know my history and can look back at my ancestors who labored daily-I know the truth. So please believe I don’t desire to sit back monthly and collect a check of unearned wages….
But sometimes, as I’m waking up for the day, pretty much knowing what to expect at the office, I want to party like a rock star. Or a rap star. Or basically like a person who hasn’t deserved one ounce of the media attention that she’s be given. That’s right, just take a day in the life of Ms. Paris Hilton!
Now she has on black face, but I’d be the real thing! Paris Noire Hilton. "That's hot" right?
I don’t want you guys to get it twisted, I’m not anti work. I know some highly esteemed folks out there think people of color are difficult to work with, because we’re lazy and all. But since I know my history and can look back at my ancestors who labored daily-I know the truth. So please believe I don’t desire to sit back monthly and collect a check of unearned wages….
But sometimes, as I’m waking up for the day, pretty much knowing what to expect at the office, I want to party like a rock star. Or a rap star. Or basically like a person who hasn’t deserved one ounce of the media attention that she’s be given. That’s right, just take a day in the life of Ms. Paris Hilton!
Now she has on black face, but I’d be the real thing! Paris Noire Hilton. "That's hot" right?Of course I don’t want her sex tape, IQ, 23 day jail stint or child-like body. But to be an heiress? Well, I can’t deny that would be nice. Aside from traveling the world and being G-L-A-M-O-R-ous it would also give me options to do things like quit my job. Because seriously I would do it now, throw up my deuces and cha-cha slide right on outta of here-if it weren’t for pesky things like the bills I had to pay, or my fondness for eating and wiping my butt with toilet paper instead of the phone book.
On top of it all, I work with a lot Babyboomers. These people are cool, care about what is going on in my world, but seriously, they would be better associates for my parents. These folks have 30 to 40 years in with this organization and are a few years away from retirement. They care and share about all the things they are going to do when they're gone (that’s why they are assholes ya’ll-rubbing it in my face) and express how they can’t believe they’ve been here for as long as they have; as they scratch their lotto tickets and laugh about the good ole days and the days to come. Most have recognized my talent, genius, and all around good person-ness and have told me they expect me to go far in the company…but I am more convinced that I don’t want to be like them and be here for that long. I have so much inside of me that I don’t believe my current organization will allow me to give...EVER!
From 8am to 5pm it’s like I’m locked up and I’m serving this sentence until I’m 67. Honestly at the rate things are going I might not be able to retire at that age and get everything they said I’m due. After nearly three years I don’t see how what I’m doing daily is showing people that they can be more than what haters expect of them. I’m not proving to folks that even in their bleakest moment and against all odds that there is still hope and something they can believe in. When will I get a chance to help those hopeless children realize that they can do anything they dream? You know, doing these things for which I think I am purposed...
I don't know, to defer my dreams for 4 more decades, to be here, complacent, smiling when I’m really screaming…well that’s scarier than any costume I’m going to see tomorrow night.
On top of it all, I work with a lot Babyboomers. These people are cool, care about what is going on in my world, but seriously, they would be better associates for my parents. These folks have 30 to 40 years in with this organization and are a few years away from retirement. They care and share about all the things they are going to do when they're gone (that’s why they are assholes ya’ll-rubbing it in my face) and express how they can’t believe they’ve been here for as long as they have; as they scratch their lotto tickets and laugh about the good ole days and the days to come. Most have recognized my talent, genius, and all around good person-ness and have told me they expect me to go far in the company…but I am more convinced that I don’t want to be like them and be here for that long. I have so much inside of me that I don’t believe my current organization will allow me to give...EVER!
From 8am to 5pm it’s like I’m locked up and I’m serving this sentence until I’m 67. Honestly at the rate things are going I might not be able to retire at that age and get everything they said I’m due. After nearly three years I don’t see how what I’m doing daily is showing people that they can be more than what haters expect of them. I’m not proving to folks that even in their bleakest moment and against all odds that there is still hope and something they can believe in. When will I get a chance to help those hopeless children realize that they can do anything they dream? You know, doing these things for which I think I am purposed...
I don't know, to defer my dreams for 4 more decades, to be here, complacent, smiling when I’m really screaming…well that’s scarier than any costume I’m going to see tomorrow night.
See You in Seven
7 comments:
girl i so feel ya...i was just having a convo last night with my cousin 'bout how i hope my next contemplated career move pans out or i'm seriously going to have to start looking for a benefactor...ha!
but really this is something i think about alot...my/our generations dissatisfaction with our jobs/work. whenever i complain about my job to my grandmama she's always like uhhh yeah, starring at a computer in an air conditioned office for 8 hours a day is really hard compared to, say, cleaning white ladies' houses and catering parties for a living.
and then i have to say oh yeah...i guess i don't have it so bad....
Yes, leave it to our elders to put it into perspective. I was just lamenting to my grandma about job number two. Her response? "Oh shoot! You're young." And that, was the end of the discussion. She's just wants me to be thankful that I have a job...my happiness, feelings of fulfillment and desires to quit are foolishness when in the same sentence as work.
Amaretto and Mint Julep -- I'm disappointed in you guys. Grandma Amaretto is right. We have our whole lives to live and anything we don't like at the moment is temporary. Ad hoc in the sense that you put a plan together to seek change. Ya' know I love my job, I won't hold you guys to the fire about your personal reflection, but remember it's just that a reflection -- it will morph into something else as long as you give effort! --- cheers
Okay, Bellini you are in agreement with a 79 year old woman-that’s cool. And I know my grandma has a point, as does Mint Julep’s. I am thankful for my job and I’m glad I don’t spend my day picking cotton or cleaning Masta’s bathroom. But I don’t believe that I should have to wait until I retire to do the things I really want to do-a la my Babyboomer co-workers. The fact that you enjoy your job goes a long way-but when you know that what you are currently doing isn’t what you were meant to do, it’s hard to feel like your daily labors aren’t a waste of life. And I fear becoming complacent and feeling like it’s okay to wait until my 401k is straight and my pension is secure. There are no guarantees in life, even with the best laid plans.
As long as you know you want more in life, you should never fear being complacent be'cuz you're always striving for your goals. Now we don't know how things will pan out -- per say -- but we're keepin' it movin' and I think in due time we're an inch closer to that goal, next thing you know we got the foot in the door. There is plenty of wisdom with age, so yes I'm agreement with Grandma Amaretto!
bellini, you hit the nail on your head...you love your job. check back on my post a few weeks back and amaretto's post today and you'll see we clearly don't.
everyday for me is precious, even tho i'm only 26, what with wars swirling in the middle-east (and in our "homeland"), global warming causing droughts, and folks near and dear to me coming up with cancer and various ailments. all that puts it into perspective for me.
yes i could very well continue to work it out at the BigFirm plantation but where would I be 5 years from now besides a few pennies richer yet bitter over the wasted time.
so i acknowledge that i don't have it as "bad" as my grandmama but i also recognize that she worked so hard for those white ladies so i could have the luxury of doing what my heart desires and since i am driven toward helping others, then its all for the good, right?
at the end of the day (every day), i ask myself who have i served today by working here.....and the answer i get is always 3 entities:
xyz corporation (the client)
student loan corporation (the loans)
me (money in my own pocket)
and i can't settle for that...
but mint julep you know what you're doing with the "Big firm planatation" is temporary -- my point is we're keepin' it movin', you have plans and dreams you're going to obtain and right now the Big firm gig will be your means to an end for however long you see fit. Next year, at this time I expect you to be a year closer towards your goal of having your means be the end simulataneously --I know you're speaking about the here & now. Although, I do like my job, ain't no complacency here there's a blueprint remember (grad school, buying my home, etc.) --'til then we keeps it movin'! I don't want us to suffer from myopia,Just remember to see the bigger picture.
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