I'll Fly Away

Week in and week out, I come here and give you words. Lots of words. Wit. And dare I say, wisdom? Heh. But today all I can give you is E. Badu's new song, Window Seat, cause it captures everything I'm feeling right now. And while I don't have, "my music, a lover, or some babies," The chorus is where I'm at.

so can i get a window seat

don’t want nobody next to me

i just want a ticket outta town to look around

and a safe touch down

so can i get a window seat

don’t want nobody next to me

i just want a chance to fly

a chance to cry

and a long bye bye...

Yeah I would totally take alladat right about now.

Update - check the live version y'all!

That's my time y'all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

the absolution of...

in my youth when i would conjure up images about marriage, feelings of love, or needed to hear the music the prose that emobodied the elements of love... just cue ms. anita baker... i mean really do i have to explain... in case ya didn't know -anita is the soundtrack of my childhood.

from beginning to end, 365 days in a year ...
picture in a frame, and it remains the same...
your undying love for me - keeps me strong...

i mean i could go on - these were certified hits or for the young folks - bangers... they remind me to this day, when Bellini gets hitched i betta be singing and feeling it just the same!

and now to know ms.baker and her hubby are going thru it... i'm just devastated
be'cuz i'm trying to understand how and why can all this come about... why is the ending so dramatic, resentful, bitter. i feel like there's manipulation involved, deceit, trickery - it ain't good honey...

but really what happened?... how are you hitched for 20+ years, progeny to boot, and it comes down to how much money is owed the other? huh?
why is shit so difficult, complicated, downright hostile?..

well from what i heard hubby wants his cut from her albums back in the day, but how much is being disputed... oh, and the fact that ms. anita never signed contract, and the judge (bless his/her heart) had the decency to give her some time to understand its implications. lawd knows i wish my brother was done with law school and passed the Michigan bar so he could provide her some pro bono counsel... i mean really if you're a lawyer able to practice to Michigan impart your legal counsel to ms. anita.

couldn't placate him with your older hit? i know you told him...
you're my angel...


and i'm saying your '90s hit didn't work either?
i apologize - oh belive me i do... ya know the rest...


cheers,

Bellini

Life to the Fullest

My latest guilty pleasure reality show is Hoarders on A&E. It is amazing to see people’s homes filled to the top with treasures (aka trash) that they have collected over the years. We are talking about rooms filled with stacks of newspaper, clothes from 1972, loaded guns buried in closets where rat feces have been found. Refrigerators filled with spoiled food, growing things within and outside of them. We are talking about adult protective services coming to take folks out their homes because they are just unlivable and naaaaaaaaaasty! It is just fascinating to watch. It’s even more amazing to discover that these hoarders are married and have children who have learned to live with and deal with their crap. A couple weeks ago a couple purchased a second home because their first one became inhabitable because of the items the wife had collected, paying two mortgages left them cash strapped and facing foreclosure, but they couldn’t sell either home because they were both filled the hoarding wife’s trash.

Last night’s episode featured Jim and Claudie, a black couple from Illinois who had been married for 37 years and had 12 children. Claudie’s hoarding had gotten so bad that Jim told her that he was going out for a little bit and that he would see her later. Well…Jim didn’t come home for over a year and during Jim’s absence Claudie was forced to live in a homeless shelter! It was pure craziness, and if I was able to get to Youtube on this here government computer I totally share the link… But in a few words the episode was deliciously tragic to watch. And I got to thinking about Jim who told his wife that he’d be back in a few and high tailed it off to Vegas to live a new life, and probably with a new wife. Many other viewers have their opinions about Jim but while watching the show I was beginning to get a little jealous of Jim. Here this man was in his 70s, been married to his wife for decades, has a house in shambles and he is able to get up and walk away? Say word? That’s both messed up and awesome at the same time! Messed up only because adulthood teaches us to strap responsibility on our backs by way of bills, work and family and carry it singing a song and wearing a smile. But here I am in my 20s and I am often reciting the childlike phrase “I don’t wanna!” And as Rum Punch mentioned the other day it’s easy to get into a wash-rinse-repeat cycle of living our lives. And so it’s a little bit awesome that Jim could look at his situation (and I will acknowledge that Jim isn’t wrapped too tight either) throw up the deuces and keep it moving to Vegas. I wish I had the guts to do the same sometimes.

So at the church house on Sunday pastor got his preach on talking about living life to the fullest. And I began to wonder if I was. Honestly and truly. Surely there is more to life that working, paying bills, meeting friends for dinner and movies. Surely there is more to life than amassing a whole bunch of things and hoarding them in my closet. But does living life to the fullest mean walking away from the mundane just because I don’t wanna? Imma say no. And I’m saying that because I’m an adult and that’s what I am suppose to say. But if I am not filling my life with the aforementioned things, then what should I be filling it with?

I guess how people should live their lives is a question that has been asked for ages. Be it watching a hobby develop into a way of life, dissolving stereotypes by climbing the corporate ladder, representing the misrepresented or interpreting life through the written word we are filling our lives with something. Maybe the key to living life to the fullest is sharing it with others.

See You In Seven

Focused on the good.

This past weekend has got to be one of those weekends where your strength is truely tested. I am not sure how I didn't break down in tears from frustration, anger and disappointment. I guess I must a stronger person now.

Here is the recap:

1. Finished building a piece I had been working on for the past 8 weeks. Not the happiest about the proportions. (deep sigh) Time to make a new one.

2. Get home at 11 pm to work on a project I already explained to the VPs of my company is not physically possible. Up all night through the snow... nap at 4... back up at 6pm and so this pattern continues.*

3. Friday night I rebel with a break to find the inside of my car filled with snow. SNOW! Why would my car be filled with snow? Ahh, let's see because someone managed to get into my gated parking lot that I pay extra for and break into my car?!?! Are you sersious and yet there was nothing for you to take.

4. Then as I try to put plastic on my car incase it snows some more, due to fatigue and emotions overload, I slit my hand on the broken glass.

5. Saturday... paid out to fix that window. There goes the play money this week.

*It is not just me working these crazy hours, I have my whole department and others breaking their backs and I am not even sure what for. (deep sigh)

I had to focus on the GOOD! So let me tell this story again...

1. Thursday - On my fourth attempt to build a fountain, I succeed and learn a lot about timing and what is going to be needed to complete this project. I look forward to making the next one even better than this one.

2. When I reviewed what my team's work, I was relieved... the revisions I had were minor. They really stepped up to the plate after weeks of training.

3. Friday - Shoveling snow out of my car I found my friend's iPod under the seat. LOL! The bastards didn't find it but... WE did after a week of looking, thanks to them. OH and nothing was taken from my car.

4. Saturday - I was really afraid my hand wouldn't stop bleeding but it did. YAY! No stitches.

5. At least I had the money to get a new window and I was the first stop for the day so I was good by 10 a.m.

6. After all this Semi-colon stops by to chill for a minute (which is really hours) and help me put together my write-up for a charity show that was the next day.

7. Show went well with a lot of positive feedback.

This weekend could have been a lot worst... I could have been in Chile Saturday morning.

Much luv with focus on the good until next week... peace :)