The Typecast(e) System

Based on a convo I recently had with Courvoisier, I have been thinking about types. I won’t reveal what we discussed, but I have been wondering the following:

1. Do you think that a certain type of person is attracted to you?
2. Are you usually attracted to that type of person?
3. If not, do you think you should go for the person you’re attracted to or just say f-it and get with the one who shows you some love?

I have noticed that there are three types of guys who are consistently attracted to me:
1. Youngins. Maybe it’s my baby face, but they stay crushing on me.
2. Old men (and not like the dirty old man who hollas at everything in a skirt old, but just significantly older). Maybe it’s my baby face, but they stay thinking I’m beautiful.
3. Women in their mid fifties who find me totally adorable and keep telling me someone is gonna marry me honey! But that's a post for another day
4. Chunky men who are from the South. Lol. Maybe it’s my baby face. Or that I'm light skinded with longish hair. Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m not a small girl myself and they think we could hit up an Old Country Buffet together. Me no know.

But I do know that the men I be checking for, often times don’t be checking for me. At least not in a romantical type way. And I’m not saying this like I think I’m unattractive. I just think that I might be more attractive to a different set of men who I tend to pay no mind. And please note I'm talking about strictly looks. No points for personality.

So, do I succumb to fate and just accept that I might have to be a cougar, or have a sugar daddy, or make sure my smothered chicken, collard greens, and pound cake game is tight? Or do I press on and hold out for my dream man? And for the record in my mind he ain't even that dreamy. He'd just be my kinda eye candy. Don't want someone supa foine. Then I gotta fight every night to prove my love! © Random dude from The Five Heartbeats. Tee hee.

On an episode of How I Met Your Mother, they discussed how in every relationship there is the reacher and the settler - where one person reaches for someone out of their league, the other person settles for someone below theirs. Insert your own "" where necessary. Lol. Similar concept can be found here at everyone’s favorite site Very Smart Brothas. Or maybe you and your friends have couple watched and played the fun game that is, ‘Who Got the Better Deal.’

Yes, it's very conceited of me to assume I'd be the settler, but if my recent dating selections are any indication - it's truth. LOL! I get that in theory we are supposed to look past someone's, well looks, and find the good inside. And I been there, done that, so I get it. But if a certain type of person keeps stepping to you - is that a sign from the universe that this is as good as it gets, so jump on it? Is it better to at least have someone in your life who will call you beautiful (and mean it) or keep striving for the one you want to notice you? Or like the caste system, do you simply accept your place in society and learn to live life to the fullest with the chunky man by your side?

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

he's just not that into you...at all

a couple months back a friend of mine virtually introduced me to a friend of hers in that no-pressure-but-this-is-kind-of-a-hook-up sorta way.  dude (we'll call him malcolm) and i had a few phone conversations and then fell into a fcuk-effort crackberry messenger routine.  after we got past the stats and talked about our respective wants, needs and can't stands, we then began discussing a potential meet and greet.  you see, malcolm lives in the nyc area and i'm a nola girl (for now).  i had a trip to the dc urreaa planned already so we decided to meet there.

the short and short of it is that my trip came and went with me not meeting malcolm (in the middle) during my visit.  he apologized for "falling sick" during the weekend but expressed a desire to visit me in the crescent city.  so he can't be bothered to hop on 95 and drive for a couple hours but he'll buy a plane ticket and come all the way to the gulf coast?  boy stop!

what's clear to me is that he didn't want to meet me.  and before folks get all "don't be so hard on him maybe he was really sick" on me, i haven't heard from dude since then.  and that was 2 weeks ago.  riiiight.

it's all good though.  i never regret "meeting" a new person and having interesting conversation with them (for conversations sake alone).  but this whole blind date that never was got me to thinking.  if he wasn't feeling me why didn't he just say that?  i'm a big girl, i can take it.  no, really, i can.  just ignore my bbm's till i get the picture (or respond who is this? to my next message.)  lie to me and tell me you got a girlfriend.  defriend me on facebook.  send me an unsolicited text that simply says "yeah....no and no."   i'm so serious. these are all acceptable subtle ways of sending me that not so subtle message that you're just not that into me.

cause really and truly that's what i should start doing.  malcolm's no-show has me thinking, do i let the males in my life know i've tuned out?  to be honest, i'm probably no more clear and straightforward than malcolm was.  i keep numbers in case the need for a free lunch arises or a lonely saturday night rears its ugly head.  maybe i oughta let go of the tubbies who i know i could never ever ever get with for real for real and stop meeting them for drinks when i've got nothing better to do.  perhaps i should let go of my ole' ego stroke dinner companion and stop playing with his emotions.  maybe malcolm was a little bit of payback in cold hard relationship karma.  or maybe he really was sick...

What’s in a pre-nup?

It’s just a piece of paper?

An understanding of accords?

A guaranteed stability floor?

A copout for the enfeebled?

A reminder of the inequities in a relationship?
Hmmm….

I have heard the argument that since 50% of marriages end in divorce, the prevalence of the dissolution of marriage requires pre-nuptial agreements. A few weeks ago, I happened to be reading the latest Sista 2 Sista magazine and its Editor, Jamie Foster Brown, interviewed Chilli (TLC) and she shared that there’s a whole lot of mess, drama in divorces without prenups and Bellini is thinkin’ true … true… and thus a prenup could circumvent some of that unnecessary drama…
But Chilli you’re a multi-millionaire I hope who unfortunately filed for bankruptcy, so you just might be a bit jaded on the issue.
Aaaahhhh, but then a recent conversation with a friend brought a pedestrian perspective.

So my friend’s cousin is a newlywed, Anthony. The newlyweds have been mindin’ their own business, except Anthony’s family has been trippin’… Well the Anthony’s father is a self-made millionaire keen on entrenching the riches within the family, Anthony is tied to many of those assets. So, when the Anthony was ready to propose to his now wife, Anthony’s father offered to finance the wedding. Now mind you nobody asked Anthony’s Daddy to do shit. Well, it turns out Anthony’s Daddy had surreptitious motives and was trying to leverage his financing of the wedding to coerce Anthony to obtain a prenup. Anthony, standing firm in his manhood, told his Daddy – NO!
Well, do ya know Anthony’s sisters are acting a damn fool. They’re dissing they’re sister-in-law at functions, calling her a gold-digger, etc… Mind you, the wife’s family are by no means shabby in their finances. You know I had to tell my friend to remind his cousins that God forbid their brother’s union fail, they sure are giving her plenty of ammunition to wipe them clean tee hee tee hee
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, God bless a child that got its own
cheers,

Bellini

Goddess of Love and Beauty?

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.







So what the *beep* is this saying?










Would it have been too much to ask for her to put on some black lollipops?! My homeboy thought she was wearing a thong and he was seeing actual butt cheeks! I know Janet, it ain't fair-where's the FCC now?


I know that the Williams sisters are beasts in the world of female tennis. And many folks think that when they run things, they can do whatever they like. But there are still rules, limits and small things like self respect that should be considered. And the fact that when you are in the public eye, you become role models to the childrens. Whether you want that role in the lives of the impressionable youth becomes a moot point because thats the cost of celebrity.


There ain't nothing beautiful about this shot Ve Ve!


I wondered as I wandered if she was about to drop an album and this was just a publicity stunt to get me to go out an cop her new record. But no, she's not vying to be the next Lil Kim. So then I thought, making a statement aside, that Ms. Williams wanted to compete with Serena for the Ms. Butterface award. I think it is common knowledge that shortly after Halle, Serena appears on black men's WILF lists largely because of her A$$ests-both physical and monetary.


But what do I know? I don't have a thousand words left to say about this, but maybe do you. Am I just a prude hating on her freedom of expression? Or do you also agree that this was a statement that was lost in translation?


See You In Seven

Meet the Friends

In some relationships, there is always that moment where you have to meet the friends. For me this is almost as bad as meeting the parents. I usually don't have a problem with meeting his friends but oh-boy, I am always worried for him when it is time to meet my friends. My friends can be tough. Tougher than my parents in some cases.

Two weeks ago, Semi-colon had the pleasure of meeting some of my friends. I was not prepared for this meeting but it was one of those coincidental meetings or so I would like to believe. (sigh)

Anyway, we all know that when a friend meets the 'other', it's natural to ask about the other from that point onwards or pass some kind of judgement. Usually I brush off the inquiries and ignore the judgments. Why? Because I am a grown a$$ woman and can make decisions for myself (chuckle). No but seriously, it is me who has to live with these decisions.

Back to my story... Semi-Colon meets one of my friends, let's call her April. The minute Semi and April meet, April can't stop going on and on about how attractive Semi is behind his back. Okay-Okay-Okay! I get it. Then when that doesn't take, the questions start coming. Soooo are you two in a relationship? What's up with him?

(sigh) It appears that I am going to have to give some information to end this train of thought. So I do. I say "We are cool. Just friends. We are feeling each other out... you know. Nothing too serious."

She says "So nothing too serious, like you wouldn't have a problem with him hollaring at your girl?"

Crazy Chick (remember her?) kicks in. Ummm... "Pump your breaks April! One, I am not really thinking about that when I am still trying to get to know him and two, what is it to you?" (All rhetorical questions) Semi don't need to use me to rope in the ladies. He is good if that is his MO"

April then proceeds to tell me no need to get defensive, she was only asking because she didn't want me to be strung along.

CC was like "Okay?!?" (sigh)

This whole interaction made me realize that I WAS a bit defensive because I mean DAMN, why women gat to be SO competitive? I like the dude but why do I have to hurry and put a possession label on him out of fear that someone else will take him? Can I just enjoy the nightly bedtime calls. (sigh) So then I start thinking about whether or not I should start seriously thinking about moving in the relationship direction with Semi or moving on. (sigh) Forcing the situation kind of... in one way or the other. (sigh)

Nah, who am I fooling? I am NOT remotely interested forcing the situation. I am not new to this game... I am patient. After all at the end of the day, I am honest about my feeling and that is all that matters. I can't be bothered with what he decides to do or I will constantly be in a state of unrest.

Much luv until next week... peace :)