WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.

SO LONG, FAREWELL...

The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Friday, September 18, 2009

When A Woman's Growed Up

So most times I try to operate from the place that God knows my needs and what I can handle. I like to call this, “God knows what’s up.” This mantra is apparent in the big things like when my life is spared or when a lesson is learned. It can be less obvious in the things that seem to have no clear answer for someone who can't tell the future, like when I ruminate on why I’m still single and ain’t got no huzband. And then little scenarios like the ones below give me pause.

So I know a lady, let’s call her Paula. So Paula has a son, who’s 9 years old. She and the son’s father, aka baby daddy (Steven) are not currently and have never been married. However, Steven did want to marry Paula for the longest time. Even put a ring on it. But Paula preferred being out in the skreets and had Steven on a string, until he cut that string, and married the first available chick who came strutting by. And since they are in the A, it didn’t take long. So Steven and new chick, (Tanya) get married. Cool right? I mean blended families are a thing of the Brady Brunch. And every other weekend ain’t no thang.

Well Paula loses her job. And she stays unemployed for awhile. A good while. Like at least a year and still going while.. And the whole time she’s been unemployed, Steven is paying for everything. Everything? Everything. © Katt Williams. Her rent, her bills, her lifestyle. Now one could make the argument that he has to take care of his son, and Paula is just an extension of that responsibility. But one could also make the argument that Paula is a grown ass woman and that supporting her for up to 3 months was cool, but once month 4 hit, lil youngin’ is moving in with us and her ass is grass.

But see that’s my single, selfish side talking. That’s my, y’all weren’t even married, it’s not like you owe her alimony, so I'm out this motha cause I can do bad all by myself (all royalties to Tyler Perry) talking. Cause maybe from the view from here, I can’t see the forest for the trees.

Maybe I don’t know what it’s really like to be all deep down in the muck and mire of being a two. To put aside selfishness and finger snapping and neck rolling for the good of the team. Maybe this thing called marriage is really about compromise. Maybe it’s about not stepping on a landmine and saying, “Nygga you done lost your mind if you think that money that could be spent on this household is goin to pay for that heffa to get her hair and nails done,” knowing good and well that he loves his son, would do anything for him, even if that means making the mother of his child a kept woman – as my mom put it. Maybe it’s about understanding that being a single Black woman is not the business, so once you found a good man (and trust me Steven is a good man and FOINE) you gotta hold on to what you got and make it work.

Now I’m not saying if I were married I still wouldn’t think this scenario was pure craziness. And wouldn't be giving Paula my inner side eye and emailing her job posts on a daily basis. I mean I’m Rum Punch through and through. But when I look at the complexities of this situation, all the layers, the unkowns that could happen once you finally commit, it makes me realize that I still got some growing to do. Not just so I can get me a huzband, but cause that's just how this thing called life goes. And that's what's up.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

my president is black

and he keeps it real. "kanye is a jackass." period. point blank.

everybody knew that. just think on kanye's various and sundry shenanigans. he says whatever he feels when he feels it. his ego is the size of texas.

after his latest stunt at the VMA's, kanye has left no doubts. so why when obama said what we all been thinking, saying, tweeting, and blogging, it makes front page news?

racial man racial!

what obama said shouldn't have even seen the light of day. i'm no journalist but "off the record" should mean just that. you can't be tweeting bout what someone told you off the record, if you're a respectable journalist. it's like breaking the Hippocratic oath. breaching the attorney-client privilege. something you just don't do. so why did ABC News reporter Terry Moran spill the beans, on something so trivial (i.e. not of national significance) no less?

racial man racial!

it seems to me that some folks have a hard time swallowing the whole president = black thing. and they don't afford president obama the same amount of respect given to all other presidents. it's like there aint no president cause they don't recognize the black one that we have.

one former president knows the deal. "I think it's based on racism. There is an inherent feeling among many in this country that an African-American should not be president. Those kind of things are not just casual outcomes of a sincere debate on whether we should have a national program on health care. It's deeper than that."

jimmy carter thinks that joe wilson's outburst during obama's speech was part of a disturbing trend. and i agree. just look at the way wilson and his people responded to carter's claims of racism. "we respectifully disagree." oh how nice. carter gets a respectful disagreement and he aint been president since the 80's. the sitting president gets a "you lie." posters likening him to hitler abound. journalist put him on blast.

racial man racial!

what say you?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

sorry folks...

I just don't have my act together to make my scholarly contributions this week. I'm semi-sick, double booked for conferences, and I'm still working... Your girl is tired. And can you believe I have so much potential for inspiration this week... what about President Carter droppin' his bomb, oh and what about Whitney coming clean (no pun intended), but I shan't... give me 7 days... I'll have my act together promise

cheers,

Bellini

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Thanks Kanye!

So originally I was going to weigh in on the whole Kanye, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Jay-Z, damn is Jay Leno a real journalist now?! topic...buuuuuuuuut that was before the work demands and hours that passed that made this saga old news. So my funny, insightful, provocative, best entry ever- has been preempted by this two cents jingling in a coffee cup post! Sit back and listen to me tinkle.

Yippie! Kanye’s actions, words and cockiness have shocked and appalled people yet again. He’s about to be bad, real bad Michael Jackson if he keeps this up!
And while the president called him a jackass, I can’t help but feel a little sorry for the man. I missed Sunday night’s VMAs so I didn’t get to see KWes in action, but I did catch the Jay Leno Show. As soon as Jay said “your mother…” I was waiting for the eruption, the tantrum, or the Cherokee trail tears. But the silence-the audience and Kanye himself were a little unexpected. I was wondering if he was holding back tears like a just scolded child. Biting his tongue…because you don’t ever talk about someone’s mother! Or really realizing what went wrong that night or months ago when his mom passed. I’m glad he still went on Leno-because I am getting tired of the rich and famous skirting by their just deserved consequences just cause their face is more recognizable than mine. But more importantly I’m glad he realized that maybe he had gone too far. That his big ego took him beyond what our collective Kanye limits allow. Baby Bush? Okay-dog him out! Blood Diamonds-terrible! But Taylor Swift? She’s a pretty, little 19 year old girl just trying to stack her dollars a la Miley Cyrus! Don’t hate man! Should we give Kanye some growth points because he didn’t say His video was the best?

EVERYONE in the world has emulated the Single Ladies video. Sure you could find me trying to dance to it at the Essence Music Festival this July. Sure we all know Beyonce’s video was better, but for real Kayne you don’t have to tell everyone what we are thinking! That’s what barbershops and blogs are for!

But thank you Mr. West for giving me (and everyone else) something to talk about yet again!

See You In Seven

Monday, September 14, 2009

What Happened to the Art of Communication?

Last week, I got a FB friend request from a handsome guy in Florida whose name I didn't recognize. This happened right after giving my friend a speech about requesting friendships of strangers that she thought was attractive, just because they were a friend of a friend. Well, here I am considering accepting this friendship request because he is kind of cute. What if I just accept to see his pictures and read his FB status diary... "No" she said.

Oops too late, I already did. (chuckle) Now, usually I don't accept stranger requests but I was super curious about this one and after looking at the pictures. It couldn't hurt if he was a friend. (chuckle)

Never been a fan of meeting strangers online or online dating, this was bound to be interesting. So I took the first initiative and sent him an email with the subject line "Do I know you?"

He replies "sorry no resaon to be on kine. hope you have a nice weekend be safe"

What?!? Is that English? Little pet peeve here, maybe he is sending this message from a phone but even still... so I respond with proper English in hopes that he does the same.

" OH... okay. Just asking.
Same to you... enjoy your weekend :)"

He replies, "i just feel a bit shame the way you said it. but its kool because am always kool are a nice person wear are you from?"

I am done. This person has been de-friended. Are you kidding me? We don't know each other and you want the only impression of you to be someone who can't type a sentence. I was done... 'wear' instead of 'where' took me there. (chuckle)

Much luv until next week... peace :)

P.S. This is definitely a good time for NY... go hard Brooklyn, smooches to Harlem and it's all good Queens.