You Don't Know Me

Has someone from your past ever reappeared in your life, talking that yakkity yak, that jibber jabber, asking you to do this one little favor, or expecting something so outta this world from you, that it has you giving them the once over from head to toe, taking inventory of their seriousness, cocking your head to the side, and being like, “Excuse? You want me to do what? Muhfcuka you don’t know me.”

But they have to kinda know you to step to you like this right? Riiight. But maybe what they know is an old version of you. Like an eight-track, or a Betamax, or a PC. Heh. I remember seeing comedienne Sommore perform and she said, “one time I saw an old friend on the street and went up to her and was like ‘what the fcuk is up bytch? How you doing? Expletive, expletive, expletive.” Friend’s response: “um I’m saved now.” Sommore was like, “say whaat? When that happen? You gotta let a bytch know.”*

Change. Growth. Maturity. So obvious to the one going through it. So imperceptible to the rest of the world. I mean wouldn’t it be nice if you could walk around wearing a sign that said: BELIEVE ME I DONE CHANGED CAUSE IF THIS WAS XXX YEARS AGO I WOULDA CUSSED YOU OUT, BEAT THAT ASS, BEEN YOUR ONE NIGHT STAND, GOTTEN FCUKED UP AND STILL MADE IT TO WORK THE NEXT MORNING, LOANED YOU MONEY YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE ASKED ME FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE, LET YOU CRASH ON MY COUCH AND IN MY HEART FOR MONTHS AT A TIME, SUPPORTED YOUR RAP "CAREER", PLAYED THE FOOL.

In reality only people who are your constants can recognize your growth and praise you for it without calling you out on your past. You know not mention that was you who once slept with every other nig you met in a bar. Or who cussed like a sailor. Or who held grudges. Or who was at that no good’s beckon call. Or "took" her man. Or had that baby at 16. And then that abortion at 19. Or enjoyed one too many happy hours. Or who shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

But people who come in and out of your life don’t really know you at all. Just know the you from that time. And so that you is like frozen in their memory banks and you just can’t chip away at that block of ice. Can't make them see what you know for sure. That you done changed.

You are forced instead to see what they still see. The old you. And isn’t that what sucks the most – that when confronted by them – you have to confront the fact that you were once a different person? A bytch. A chick who wasn’t necessarily a whore, but may have had ho like tendencies. Selfish. Naïve. Mean. Foolish. A sucker. Young. A person who made what now seem like obvious mistakes. But you've gotten to the place where you know not to make them again.

And so wouldn’t it be nice, if when someone reappeared in your life, you could just hand them the poem below. Leave them with their mouth open, lips still moving and for x,y, z and then some, while you walk away. And don't look back. With plans to only meet them again when you both become extraordinary.

People from My Past

People jump from my past

to tell me when they knew me when

And I tell them

I knew them also

I tell them I have moved

so unnoticeably

to other worlds - - as they have done

I tell them once the friendship dies

we cannot accept the ordinary from each other

We must become extraordinary to meet again.

-- Tracy Connely

That's my time y'all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

*Can I just say this is my one of my biggest "fears" that one day I'll be pushing my kids in a stroller, walking with my huzband, coming from worshipping the Lord, and I'll run into an old skripper from my waitressing at the Gentleman's Club days and she'll be on some, "don't I know you?" LOL!

the revolution within the revolution

i've fallen off a bit in the last few weeks. thanks to everyone for being patient. goin thru a lil something on the work front. tearin down walls and ish. f'in the liberal white man. will be back on the grind soon.

all kinds of wrong...

My original blog topic centered around education and no -- it had nothing to do with our President.

But then I got this disturbing e-mail with a pdf attachment. So, I decided to open it -- cuz at this point of the day, it's been a slow start... It's raining, my office door was locked, security had to play trial & error w/ keys .... So, why not open the attachment right? Very few instances when Bellini will be wrong, oh i was so wrong...

as you should be used to by now, anything in italics is my reaction...

**********************************************************************************

PLEASE READ - This is not a joke nor is it an attempt to damage a reputation ……..
Name: ______________deleted____________________
Birthdate: ______deleted_____
Tattoos: (a Snake) on his right hand, (teardrop under left eye), Names of family members on his arm - (deleted)
I’m sending this out hopefully to save others from his violent ways and have this danger to society removed from the streets and put were he belongs.
VERY IMPORTANT- HE WILL LOVE YOU AND LEAVE YOU FOR DEAD!!!!!
The "Relationship” started out well He was very nice, charming and caring but I would soon find out different. the agent showed up

After a few months I allowed him to move in with me why the hell would you do that?, and that's when things begin to turn for the worst i bet. The
arguments began and it started with just yelling back and forth, and then one day he choked me some Ike & Tina shit. I immediately packed up and moved out of my home get the fcuk outta here. He called trying to get back together and I agreed only to meet with him to talk stupid is as stupid does.

When we did meet he started making threats about things that he would do to me and my family members if I refused to a take a ride with him. beyond belief @ the gullibleness -- is that a word?
After a couple hours of riding and talking he started driving north on I-95. When I asked him where we were going he told me that he was going to visit family. That day he kidnapped me and took me to ________________________ from __________________, where I had no family or friends. I was always under his watchful eye and unable
to call my family until a few days later from a pay phone. I alerted my family informing them of my whereabouts,and that I was unharmed about damn time, did you tell your uncles to bring Boo & 'em. He kept me there living in a room with his family for four months did your ass have a job???.

He made sure I had no money and he took the car every time he left. duh, he's a psychopath When I finally got the courage to leave and go home, that would be the night that I would fight for my life. He found four dollars in my wallet and that was all it took. He stabbed me, tried to set me on fire and finally he shot me. He aimed for my head and I pushed his hand and when the shot was fired so I was struck in the neck, instead of my head. I was shot point blank range with a 9mm handgun. The bullet missed my spine by a fraction of an inch. I have been left with physical and emotional scars ya think.

I was a victim of a very violet domestic crime and I am blessed to be alive.
This man is currently on the run for 2 attempted murders in _________________________, hitting a child while driving in _______________, and numerous other charges ranging from Federal Threats, Kidnapping, Robbery, Assault & Murder.

He has been seen and has family in: _________________________________________ !!!!!
This man is known to be a part of the DL - DOWN LOW community (men who sleep with men)shit don't get no better. There are photos of him in the act with different men (too much to show here) But it’s true, I found this out after my ordeal!!! . This man is extremely dangerous and needs to be off the streets ASAP. In the event you have seen him or know someone that may be involved with him, PLEASE report him to your nearest police department – Very Important (do not say anything about this to him, for your own safety) just dial 911!!!
*************************************************************************************

why? this is just too much on a rainy day... ususally, i tease things apart for folks, but not today. Bellini can not entertain the foolishness today.

Ladies all I will say is if you love yourself, certain bullshit can not and will not happen in your life.

cheers,

Bellini

I Believe the Children are Our Future

For some reason there has been some hubbub over the President’s speech to America’s children today. I don’t understand it. Is this how it’s going to be anytime anyone dares to do something new? Never in all my years of education can I recall a president addressing me or my peers…but how can it hurt? It’s not like he’s going to be talking about healthcare and shoving some type of AGENDA down the throats of America’s little ones. He’s basically telling them to get their stuff straight and make the best of the opportunity given them.

Here here Mr. President!

I mean have you talked to a young person lately? Lord, please help us! As much information available to them for their reading consumption, a lot of these kids are lacking! Well, as Rum Punch can attest, a lot of these kids can’t read to begin with. And so there is a lot wrong with education and parenting and our communities as a whole, which we all know and talk about. After all back in our day there was money for music and art programs in our schools, we did what our parents told us, and we wanted to help old ladies cross the streets with groceries. But alas… that was then.

During the election I chuckled in my soul as Mr. Obama spoke of hope and change because I wasn’t a believer. As a Christian I think hope and change are great and exist, but could one man change the World? Um, yes, but was it this man? Um, no. In my mind it was going to take more than hope to change the political system that runs the democratic republic government of the United States of America. But one of the most positive things about Obama’s election was the shift in the psyches’ of the children. There are children who are being born who will only know a multi-racial President and that means something in a nation that is no longer just Black and White. And it means something to tell a room of multi hue children that they can be anything they aspire to be and to finally mean it…because the Presidency is possible.

And I am a little excited by the President’s speech today! I like that addressing the youth of my country is important to him. I don’t think children will instantly straighten up and do right because he gave an “It’s Cool to stay in School” message. But so often the youth are cast aside and made to feel like they don’t matter…when in reality they are the ones who will take care of us when we are no longer able.

Of all the high schools in the DC Metropolitan area, I am glad the President is speaking at Wakefield High School. I don’t know why that high school was chosen but I do know that from outward appearances it’s not the best school compared to the schools found on the North side of Arlington County. The children of immigrant and low income families attend Wakefield, and though it’s not a Lean On Me type of place, it would be just as easy to write the students who attend there off. But I know that good things can come from any place, even places that need a new coat of paint and better landscaping. And so today I sit in my cubicle swelling with pride because the first multi-racial President will be addressing America’s children from Wakefield High School…the school I graduated from! I couldn’t hope for anything better! Go Warriors!

See You In Seven

HAPPY LABOR DAY!

This a day of mixed feelings... I don't want to say goodbye to summer but I will welcome the day off.

Much luv and rest until next week... peace :)