finding what matters

6 months ago, i hated where i worked.  really hated it.  i loved what i was doing but i hated the environment: a poorly managed frat house masquerading as a non-profit organization.  and so i did what i always do when i start to hate my environment.  i look for the next exit.  the quickest out.  i sent out a few resumes and prayed for a change.  i complained to rum punch and mentally checked out of the office.

and then nothing happened.  there was no quick escape hatch.  no job opportunities forthcoming.  and i realized i was stuck.  at least for the immediate future.  before when i wanted an out, i found one within a few months.  but the economy had other plans.  God had other plans. 

i had to deal with my environment in a totally new way.  putting the people aside, why was i here?  why did i come here?  to try cases and to help people fight off the oppressive weight of the criminal justice system.  and that's what i needed to do.  focus on those 2 things.  do those and nothing else.  become so good at those things that they couldn't tell me nothing.  tune out everything and everyone else.

now this hasn't been easy because my work environment is full of bitchassness and incompetence.  i curse a lot of people out in my mind.  i send sarcastic yet polite emails to all that highlight the ridiculousness that is office (mis)management.  i pretty much do my thing and keep it moving.

and this week i did my thing really well.  i had trial every day of the week and despite a brief moment of doubt (and a few unnecessary tears) i prevailed.  my clients prevailed.  it was the most exciting, exhilarating and mentally exhausting week of my career.   and i loved it.  i love what i do.  and that's the most important thing.

You Were Cc'd

I work for an organization that is composed of about 99.8% women. And since we can’t handle our problems by wrestling in the mud or just hauling off and slapping someone in the face soap opera style, a variety of passive aggressive responses to problems and challenges are displayed. This includes, but is not limited to: talking to everyone else, but the person about the problem (until it finally gets back to said person), making someone else do your ‘dirty’ work, foregoing solidarity and telling your supervisor everything about that co-worker you can't stand.

But I think one of the most passive aggressive, ‘I’m gonna git you sucka’ type ish that happens in the workplace is the use of the cc. We all know about the dreaded cc, right? If you've never had the pleasure to experience the greatness that is the cc, here are some scenarios.

So let's say you're at your desk working (or surfing the net), and for about half the day you and your co-worker have been having an email exchange that has borderlined on being a misunderstanding or a disagreement between you two, but for the most part has remained rather cordial and professional. And it’s not until you say that one thing that sets them off and next thing you know when your co-worker responds again, your boss has been cc’d. What the frick, you wanna scream?!? Now the dynamics have changed. They have decided to play dirty. And you end up looking like the crazy person. The uncooperative co-worker who won't play nice.

Or maybe you’re a lowly employee who’s having an exchange with your supervisor and you don’t like what task(s) they're giving you to do or how they want you to do it. And so your 'I'ma call you out on some ish you haven't done to take the heat off me' response includes a cc to they boss – knowing good and well that your supervisor is going to catch more hell than you, leaving you off the hook. For now at least.

Now, one could argue that the cc is used to ‘cover one’s tracks’ so to speak, have a paper trail that can be brought against the accused at a later date. But I think this is a punkest of punk moves. I feel that if you feel the need to use the cc, it should only be done for truly necessary reasons (like this person might not be the primary intended person for this info, but still needs to know this info) or strictly for drastic matters, like you bout to really whup that co-worker's ass and cc intervention is needed to talk you off the ledge. And should not be used for some everyday, it was your turn to make the coffee type mess. And don’t even get me started on the bcc.

But maybe I feel this way because I have no desire to swim a river, climb a corporate ladder, like so many of my counterparts. Instead, I just want to work my little job, make a decent salary that I can live on, have enough vacation hours to do my thang, and go home with no worries. I have absolutely no desire to prove anything to anybody. I don't want to defend my work ethic to you. And must we really come to email blows over some simple stuff? Knowing good and well something will happen tomorrow that is bound to set you off again. And so the cc cycle continues...

I'm telling y'all, some stop ccing shirts are so necessary. On some snitches get stitches. Ccin' gets beatins. Now run cc dat.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

the revolution within the revolution

i've fallen off a bit in the last few weeks. thanks to everyone for being patient. goin thru a lil something on the work front. tearin down walls and ish. f'in the liberal white man. will be back on the grind soon.

When You Assume....

Yesterday I was telling Courvoisier about an incident that happened to me while I was engaged in the wonderful world of working. A white coworker and I were chatting and during a rare occasion that I felt like giving a glimpse into Amaretto's world, I told this coworker that I attended college in Philadelphia. So then this coworker says: "Oh, so you went to Temple?"

So this is where I had a moment. Maybe it was my overly sensitive crazy chick (CeCe) raising up- but of all the schools in the Philadelphia area I wondered why oh why this coworker had assumed that I had attended the predominately Black one?

So I told him, that I in fact had attended Drexel University at which point he gave me a shocked face and said "Oh, yeah that's a good school." Thanks for your stamp of approval Mister white man. But even if it wasn't an accredited university, why did you have to assume?

I mean this is the racism that I am talking about. I have never had a cross burned in my yard, or told I couldn't use the bathroom at a certain facility. But on a daily basis I have to combat preconceived notions about Black women. And I'm sure other people/genders/races/nationalities find themselves doing the same...but since this my post and it's all about me Tuesday, I can exclaim that I am sick of this shyt!

Courvoisier felt that it wasn't a moment of racism until he had a shock face because what if Temple was the only the only school he knew of in the Philadelphia area-afterall it is well known. But I begged to differ. Because if I were a young white woman he wouldn't have said Temple. Or if I was having the same sort of conversation with any person (white, black, purple or green), in my mind I might assume they had attended Grape University (because all the purple people go to this place), but I would have asked them "So where did you go Mister Purple person?" and then given myself an internal hi-five if I had assumed correctly.

Because we as people can't help what we think in our minds, even if we live in a politically correct world our parents, media and personal experiences with folks have shaped how we view and label people. But unlike in 1959, in 2009 I think folks would have the decency to at least ask me question, before assuming that they know me...I think that's the least people can do!

See You In Seven

Heard it Through the Grapevine

So one of the things that we ladies here at the 5spot planned to do during our vacation down in New Orleans was to work on a house through Habitat for Humanity. This activity became more exciting to me than the fact that we were going to the Essence Festival that Friday night-and as a chick who wasn’t a Beyonce fan I have been converted, that chick is a master performer! Anyways, when I told a coworker that I was going to New Orleans-so good luck with all the mounting projects that were being assigned to us-she asked me what I was going to do. I proudly told her that I was going to help build a house. Well I can’t tell you how pretty my halo and wings looked reflecting through her eyes. I must say Angelic Amaretto is quite a beautiful sight to see.

Okay so cut to last Wednesday when I came back into the office tired and tanner and the one coworker I told has since told other random coworkers about what I planned to do on my vacation. There I was sitting at my desk, catching up on emails and fighting fatigue when Old Man Pseudo Boss came over talking about glad you’re back Amaretto, how was building houses. Um what? Houses? Do I look like I work for Centex Homes, I was only going to “help” build a house-one singular sensation. And so the fact that my coworker told OMPB didn’t really vex me because she talks to him a lot, but it was when Worrisome Willy, Fat Boy, and Trying Tanya all asked me how was my time building houses was…I got a little annoyed. Moreover, at the end of the day my coworker comes over with shock and sadness on her face to say OMPB just told her that I didn’t even build a house on my vacation! There, ladies and lone gentlemen went my halo and wings.

So what happened? Well, why we didn’t make it to the building site really isn’t important. We aren’t blaming anything on da alcohol. But I can say that it really was a perfect storm of a series of unfortunate events that lead us to site see and chill at the pool until it was time to eat.

But the moral of the story is that you can’t trust coworkers with nothing! I mean really it’s troubling that my name came up in at least 5 conversations unbeknownst to me. And worse yet, the information spread was oh so very very wrong! The whole ordeal reminded me of the corporate communication course I took in my freshmen year, I mean as a student I really didn’t care about the world of working but they did list the Grapevine as one of the major forms of communication in the workplace. Three cheers that I can remember that! And all I can say is yes and Amen! It’s amazing how somewhat true information or even bold faced lies can sound like God’s Gospel after traveling through the Grapevine. Now I’m wondering if so-and-so really slept with him and Jim to get that promotion. Or if they are going to really take all of our cubicles away and have us work at rectangular desks in an effort to be green and save money! That stuff in the office air just cain’t be trusted…ever!

Imma have to get Courvoisier to photoshop me with a hammer in hand and President Obama cheering me on in the background, talking about Yes We Can! Then Imma frame it and put in on my desk under my Marid Gras beads…let’s see what my coworkers will say about that!

See You In Seven

hi hater!

for the last few weeks now, my happiness on the job has been the topic of hot debate. it's kinda strange since i really really really love what i do now. even if i had thought of leaving my current employer i really really love my new city. after all the twists and turns it took to get here, i'm stayin local for at least 3 years.

so when my supervisors kept tellin' me that they heard i was unhappy, i was kinda surprised. at first they kept hemming and hawwing about who said what to whom about me. but finally after some digging i found the rat.

apparently, the rat told one of my bosses that i had an offer to go back to my old job and was seriously considering it. now how did the rat know this? the rat claimed that he got this information from one of my work homies over drinks one night. when my boss told me all this, i was livid! well as livid as a pisces can be.

for one, there was/is no such offer.
b) i have neva eva eva said something like this out my mouth
and most importantly, my work homie would never say something like this (truth or lie) to the rat because he thinks the rat is a punk a** biyatch.

there remains only one conclusion, the rat been lyin on a sista! mississippi gotdamn!

what's a girl to do? confront the rat or just let it go, knowing that the rat is a hatin' a** hater?

what say ya'll?