Who's Zoomin' Who

So I used to work for a PR firm and our biggest and by biggest I mean money making clients were companies who had been sued for discrimination and were coming to our firm for damage control, crisis management, image restoration, etcetera, etcetera. A bulk of the image restoration included throwing fistfuls of dollars into minority communities. So for instance one company sponsored a green room at the NAACP Awards. Another company partnered with the Urban League and had a Wellness bus that toured the country and stopped in major cities where coloreds abided. And so on…

And while I understood in theory the whole quid pro quo thing that was happening, it kind of burned me up on the inside. And I would sing to myself (like for real sing aloud) ‘Who’s zooming who?’ And I sing that song now when I hear Cracker Barrel sponsoring something on the Tom Joyner Morning show. Or McDonald's giving out scholarships to coloreds to make up for the heart attacks Or Nationwide sponsoring Tavis Smiley’s Stand documentary. And so on…

And I can’t decide how I feel about this. Sometimes I’m upset that Black folk can be so easily bought. And then I remember that this is the American way and money talks, makes the world go round, and can drive some people out of their mind. Other times I’m upset that this seems to be all it takes to right the wrongs that you have committed. Sometimes I’m upset because I want Black people to stand on they own two without the white man’s help and hand outs. But then sometimes I’m like that’s right Black people get that money. Lawd knows we worked hard for it! But then sometimes I’m like, “but we don’t want no blood money! Who gives an f if you sponsored a green room! No one watches the NAACP Awards! If you wanna pay me to like you, put the reparations in my hand!”

And back and forth I go. Wondering where exactly is the line. If these aren't genuine actions, do they still matter? Does the fact that it's "benefiting" the community negate any wrongdoing that was done? I remember a Senior member at the PR firm urged us not to take this so personally and compared our jobs to defense attorneys. She would say, "It doesn't matter if we think or even know our client is guilty, what matters is getting them off." Raised eyebrow from Rum Punch. That's all that matters? So whenever I'm having my internal debate on this issue (which happens often when I listen to morning radio), I recall this statement. And it makes the scales tip just a little. And I know exactly who's zoomin' who.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

she and your man

they say men cheat because there are always women out there who will cheat with them. of course we know and understand that men also cheat because they can, because they think they won't get caught or just because it's Friday night. but the other woman remains a necessary and indispensable component of any man's cheating endeavors.

the other woman leaves a bad taste in every one's mouth. when there are women who are willing and able to cross that line, there is little that can be added to the picture to make it better in our minds. they separated; they don't sleep together no more; she don't give him none; he filed for divorce; he just there for the kids; they aint lived together for years; and on and on. at the end of the day it always returns to the same sentiment: don't fuck wit other people shit.

on the other side of this thang, i know what it's like to meet someone who you really click with, who are attracted to, got that fiyah for and discover that he is married (or separated). some women know this information upfront. but still want to (and do) proceed to gettin it in. women complicate things when they begin to think "what if this is the man of my dreams?" unfortunately boo boo, right now he's still the man of someone else's dreams or at least he used to be.

most women feel some kinda way about the other woman. you will get that deadly side eye if you tell your best homegirl that your boo's divorce will be final any day now. you might get ex-communicated from the family if they know you f'in wit another woman's husband. it just aint right. ever. ever?

why does it become right when the man got a lil' change in his pocket?

photo courtesy of essence.com

essence magazine, the black woman's affirmation to all that is right and good in our world, features a reputed husband stealer on this month's cover. in the article, she goes hard against the "hateful" bloggers who paint her as the other woman and even filed a lawsuit against a woman who wrote an anonymous letter to several bloggers putting gabby on blast for messing with her husband. gabby claimed that the woman's claims were downright lies but at the article's end admits that she's off to miami to see her still married boo.

why is it less blast worthy when it's alicia keys?

photo courtesy of theybf.com

she took swizz beats right from under mishonda's nose. and denied it still to this day. claiming that she was dating her manager instead. yet alicia doesn't recieve the full brunt of the celebrity bloggers wrath the way that gabrielle does. what's up wit that?

if alicia and gabby were regular "other" women sneaking around with the average married black man, wifey and her homegirls would be rolling up to their doors to give them a few choice words (slaps and slashes too!) but these women are lauded as our sheroes. is the message that these women and men are different because they are rich? or that it's okay because the men are separated from their wives? is it ever okay to date a married/separated man? or should one wait until the ink dries on the divorce decree?

what say ya'll?

cyberage affairs??

Last night, I decided to read my latest edition of Upscale magazine. And 2/3of the way thru the magazine (pg. 79) I land on "Love & Marriage – In these techno-times, are you really committing adultery if it’s only online"? Hmmmmm…

So, the article discusses an LA couple scheduled to be wed in a few weeks. And the fiancée came home one night to find her fiancé asleep with his cell phone crouched in his hand. The fiancée goes on to say, “His work cell phone was on the night stand, where it always is… But his personal cell phone was physically in the bed with him… Why on earth would he fall asleep in bed on the phone?”

red flag

“The fiancée’s senses were tingling. She thought about waking him up and confronting him. Instead, she slipped the phone out of his hand, went into the bathroom and checked his text messages.”

“He’s been sending sexy text messages to a coworker for months… We’re getting married in two weeks. And he’s sex-texting a coworker?!”

damn

So, in the cyberage is this what we have to contend with?

I’m a firm believer of how you go into a marriage sets the bar for a marriage.

I don’t know if the couple underwent marriage counseling? But if they hadn’t should they call of the wedding? Should she continue with the specter of doubt, knowing the behavior can become an abomination?

The article goes on to say, “We live in a new world. And the days of affairs taking place in motels and restaurants on the other side of town are over. Adultery can happen with nothing but the constant motion of thumbs on a keypad.”

cue D’angelo with the “Shit, D@mn, Muthafucka!”


cheers,

Bellini

Random Thoughts...

My job recently issued me a tracking device (aka Blackberry) so that I can be reached at all hours of the day. Initially I felt some type of way about being reachable all the time. I mean when I am off, I’m off. Sorry. I doubt the world will end…but being able to check my Yahoo mail and use Blackberry Messenger have been great highlights and time killers. So last night when I awoke from my slumber to urinate (it was like two in the morning), I noticed the little red light on Blackie flashing informing me that I had a message. Well you know I couldn’t very well fall back to sleep without knowing who had sent me something. Ugh, technology! I am a lot less patient than I use to be! No email is that important at 2am! But you could tell me that as I wiped sleep from my eyes and entered my password. Anyways with Blackberry in hand I read the following email forward and laughed until tears flowed from my eyes. So I am sharing and caring with you today because 1. I thought it was freaking hilarious 2. I have writers block like every Monday night/Tuesday morning and 3. I’m grown now and can be lazy when I see fit!

Random thoughts from people our (well, at least my) age..."

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. Indeed!

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work?You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix theproblem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We justfigured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. Who needs a red light to text?

- Was learning cursive really necessary?

-I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. Is it bad that I agree?

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go aroundand say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive forthe rest of the day. Like right now!

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. And it's not like you can wear it again the next day!

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but nomatter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. I hate when they are on the sidewalk and when they are on the road acting like a car!

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drivebehind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw theyhad included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at therestaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and thenestimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such alarge amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Now if you didn’t think any of those were funny, please keep in mind it was 2 in the morning when I read them! :)

See You In Seven

Courvoisier Top 5

This Monday when I need the energy to do the work week one more time, sometimes I need a little eye candy to get going. Sorry male readers, this post is for the ladies but I am sure you can pick up a free grooming tips... j/k. (chuckle)

1. Idris Elba - Everybody likes him, so he is a given... I start with him.

2. Followed by Common, the classic cutie (as I like to call him).



3. Oh and let's not forget his co-star in the new movie Just Wright, Mechad Brooks. Yummy! Can't wait until the movie.

4. Another oldy but goody, Hill Harper takes number. One of these lunch breaks I plan to read that book of yours, the Conversation.



5. Lastly, my all time FAVE, Columbus Short. My oh my, does Courvoisier love her some Co-lum-bus!!!



Much luv until next week... peace :)