You Were Cc'd

I work for an organization that is composed of about 99.8% women. And since we can’t handle our problems by wrestling in the mud or just hauling off and slapping someone in the face soap opera style, a variety of passive aggressive responses to problems and challenges are displayed. This includes, but is not limited to: talking to everyone else, but the person about the problem (until it finally gets back to said person), making someone else do your ‘dirty’ work, foregoing solidarity and telling your supervisor everything about that co-worker you can't stand.

But I think one of the most passive aggressive, ‘I’m gonna git you sucka’ type ish that happens in the workplace is the use of the cc. We all know about the dreaded cc, right? If you've never had the pleasure to experience the greatness that is the cc, here are some scenarios.

So let's say you're at your desk working (or surfing the net), and for about half the day you and your co-worker have been having an email exchange that has borderlined on being a misunderstanding or a disagreement between you two, but for the most part has remained rather cordial and professional. And it’s not until you say that one thing that sets them off and next thing you know when your co-worker responds again, your boss has been cc’d. What the frick, you wanna scream?!? Now the dynamics have changed. They have decided to play dirty. And you end up looking like the crazy person. The uncooperative co-worker who won't play nice.

Or maybe you’re a lowly employee who’s having an exchange with your supervisor and you don’t like what task(s) they're giving you to do or how they want you to do it. And so your 'I'ma call you out on some ish you haven't done to take the heat off me' response includes a cc to they boss – knowing good and well that your supervisor is going to catch more hell than you, leaving you off the hook. For now at least.

Now, one could argue that the cc is used to ‘cover one’s tracks’ so to speak, have a paper trail that can be brought against the accused at a later date. But I think this is a punkest of punk moves. I feel that if you feel the need to use the cc, it should only be done for truly necessary reasons (like this person might not be the primary intended person for this info, but still needs to know this info) or strictly for drastic matters, like you bout to really whup that co-worker's ass and cc intervention is needed to talk you off the ledge. And should not be used for some everyday, it was your turn to make the coffee type mess. And don’t even get me started on the bcc.

But maybe I feel this way because I have no desire to swim a river, climb a corporate ladder, like so many of my counterparts. Instead, I just want to work my little job, make a decent salary that I can live on, have enough vacation hours to do my thang, and go home with no worries. I have absolutely no desire to prove anything to anybody. I don't want to defend my work ethic to you. And must we really come to email blows over some simple stuff? Knowing good and well something will happen tomorrow that is bound to set you off again. And so the cc cycle continues...

I'm telling y'all, some stop ccing shirts are so necessary. On some snitches get stitches. Ccin' gets beatins. Now run cc dat.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

a special day

do you know what today is?
it's our anniversary!

the 5 spot is 2 years young ya'll!

on october 1, 2007, dark and stormy opened the door and shared her feelings of being a grown woman. amaretto unlocked the secret to saving relationships: cups. as always, bellini spoke to the ladies about keeping themselves right and tight. i pondered the gloriousness of the rubberband man and rum punch closed out that first week with a post that epitomized what the view from here is all about.

women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). writing about everything and nothing. from the insane to the mundane; you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived.

over the past 2 years each of us has grown up and out in ways that we could not have imagined on october 1, 2007 when we set out to create this here blog. jobs changed, cross-country moves made, loves gained and lost (or snatched by b&b's), houses bought, trips taken, new friends made, daiquiris consumed, and most of all lessons learned. i for one have enjoyed the ride and i hope you have to.

ladies, raise your glasses! let's celebrate!

it's our anniversary!!

take no prisoners

After giving you guys a nice summer reprieve, it's time to talk that political ish. Considering there's some type of election to be had in November for all of us. And since my interim report (100 days recap), I haven't given ya much... until now. Where do I start?

How is it... with unemployment rising, continued dissatisfaction with Medicaid, and most folks wish they could cut their health insurance premium or increase their benefits package -- that-- surveys on Americans viewpoint on the President's actions on healthcare are poor? Oh, and what about the genius that is Cokie Roberts shared a few weeks ago on This Week w/ George Stephanopolous (did i spell that right) did the elderly on the picket lines swearing Uncle Sam not to intervene with healthcare-have amnesia to the fact that Medicaid is a government program?!!< hmmmmm... and President's Carter theory isn't exactly airtight. Now don't get me wrong he's picking up on some amorphous, nuanced, subtle innuendo but that abstract notion can't be quantified nor is it tangible. So, it's credibility is undermined.

back to the drawing board...

Now I don't know who the President designated as his pushaman... Memo to pushaman: If you're reading this today, you're doing a pisspoor job! Unequivocally. This healthcare issue should have been a slam dunk -- ok I kid -- at least a glide to do a few layups and hit nothin' but net from the 3-point line. You feel me?

The amalgam of high unemployment and other factors I've mentioned should have folks on the picket lines. Instead, we have nuts on the picket lines, at the town hall meetings, etc. And who is naive in the Administration that felt lax in defining the President's vision on healthcare in crafty, yet meaningful soundbites.?!?!
Tell me who?

Obama acolytes have we not learned anything from Clintonites? dammit when the Clintonnites were down everybody knew it was time to fight back-- a la take no prisonsers variety. When it comes to healthcare, how come I only feel like its the Commander-in-Chief that is fighting back? shit even Jordan needed Scottie Obama acolytes where you at? Where was the blitzkreig effort when the siege of town hall meetings received 24 hour coverage on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, therby coercing the tone and message of the national dialogue on healthcare. And why do we have comments like this, "When it comes to ... health care, no one is completely happy. Everyone has a complaint. And nobody understands the way the current system works, only that it doesn't work very well. Washington Post" But see, this is where the Administration has failed, "[There is]support [to] reform... the system ... But [Americans] h[ave] stopped paying attention once the "ridiculous shouting matches" and "death panel nonsense" came to dominate the debate."

"These are the people President Obama counted on to give his signature health-care reform effort the grass-roots oomph it needs to get through Congress. But no one ... has taken his or her private frustrations to a public meeting; no one has lobbied a lawmaker."

That shit is problematic folks.

Mr. President when you return from Copenhagen (hoping you're successful in wooing the International Olymbic Committee to allow Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics) you need to provide your staff a pep talk and tell your pushaman to get with the program. Or buy bye...

cheers,

Bellini

What Do You When...

So what do you do when the man you are dating tells you that he pays child support for a child that isn't his? And said child is 3 years old. What do you do when he also shares that he will tell the child he isn't her father if she asks why he is no longer with her mother.

This is the situation my friend has found herself in. Friend and I are of similar thinking that honesty-the sooner the better-would be the best for this child and her older sister.

What does it say about this man who is willing to pay for at least the next 15 years but also willing to withhold key information from this child and the child's bio dad. Shame is also spread to the mom who concieved said child while he was over in Iraq making that good contractor money so she could have her dream house! Some women are truly low down ya'll!

Anyways I told my homegirl that this was too much drama and she should run screaming into the night away from this dude... But that might be too extreme.

What are your thoughts?

See You In Seven

What do you say, Courvoisier? (Part 4)

Dear Courvoisier,
I want to know why an intelligent young lady, like myself gets kind of crazy after hooking up with a man who has rocked her world. It is not like I am one to easily fall in love but every once in a while someone comes along and puts it on me where it takes me a day or two to recover. Lord help me, if I act upon these urges and call asking for a second helping… it is seems to make the situation worst. I am not sure why I act this way knowing that I am not even interested in pursuing a relationship any further. Why do I get sprung so easily?
Sprung

Well, I am no expert but here is what I have to say. Sounds like homeboy made your oxytocin stock sky rocket! It is okay but note, this is NOT happening because you love him. Oxytocin is like the scientific excuse for why we women are sprung. It exists for men too but their testosterone seems to level it out so they don’t have the clingy effect afterwards. Lucky! It is a hormone that is released during sex or breast feeding that allows you to form a bond. (Hill mentions this in his book also… so if you haven’t read it consider this another nurge. Chuckle)

I say this with the funniest bone in my body, it is important for a woman to know this is a possible reason for wanting to hold onto the man you just met and hooked up with last night. We aren’t all whores (chuckle) well maybe some of you are. (chuckle)

Try on some of these for practice when your oxytocin won’t chill out…

1. Hit the gym or go for a walk. Get some of the other hormones going... and keep them going until you can’t anymore from the pain. (chuckle)
2. Every time you think to invite him over, call a girlfriend. Talk her head off about him or anything. Just don’t invite him over just yet. I haven’t figured out what to do if he hunts you down… you on your own with that one. (chuckle)
3. Pick back up that hobby of yours. You do have a hobby right? (chuckle)
4. Drink one glass of wine… just enough to take off the edge but not enough to make you call. (chuckle)

That’s all I got, hopefully the other four can help you with more suggestions.

Much luv until next week with low levels of oxytocin… peace :)