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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

What Do You When...

So what do you do when the man you are dating tells you that he pays child support for a child that isn't his? And said child is 3 years old. What do you do when he also shares that he will tell the child he isn't her father if she asks why he is no longer with her mother.

This is the situation my friend has found herself in. Friend and I are of similar thinking that honesty-the sooner the better-would be the best for this child and her older sister.

What does it say about this man who is willing to pay for at least the next 15 years but also willing to withhold key information from this child and the child's bio dad. Shame is also spread to the mom who concieved said child while he was over in Iraq making that good contractor money so she could have her dream house! Some women are truly low down ya'll!

Anyways I told my homegirl that this was too much drama and she should run screaming into the night away from this dude... But that might be too extreme.

What are your thoughts?

See You In Seven


Anonymous said...

In my younger days I dated a man who was raising a child on his own that was not his. He first took the child in because after the mother and him split he didn't think was mature enough.

I thought he was very mature of him. To this day he has custody and I respected him for this. I had no fears whether he would the dependable father I needed for my future babies.

That was my situation and every situation is different. Not sure if that helps.

P.S. The child knows that he is not his father, knows his mother and who is supposed real daddy is. He found this out at 6.

Amaretto said...

I guess maybe my real issue is with the momma to let this shame and mockery continue. I don't know. Another layer to this tale is that he's on the east coast while the ex-wife and dem are on the west. So it's not like he's in their lives per se-why not cut ties and come clean?

I does say something that he's willing to pay for this child. But what? He's a standup man? Can pay for other peoples' offspring? Is a stone cold fool?