WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Friday, May 14, 2010

A Vested Interest

Last week when I was hanging out with dude who was talmbout maybe getting back together with his ex. The main reason was because he wanted a chick in his life to do things with. But if he did not get back with his ex, he then said verbatim, “For real I just want a chick I can hang out with. But she pays for her own stuff…” While I did my best to not look at him as if he had two heads, he regaled me with this delightful tale:

His mama’s friend has a niece attending a local university for grad school. The elders gathered and thought he and this girl, let’s call her Poor Thing should meet. They were first introduced at a holiday gathering. The next time they see each other – they’re both just out in the streets. She orders some food for herself and pays. The third time, he specifically suggests they go see Avatar. Poor Thing arrives to the theatre (probably after being boosted by her auntie that he’s a good dude, so nice, who owns his own home honey, and so on) and he says to her, “Yo. So, I just bought my ticket. I’m fina get our 3-d glasses. You go ‘head buy your ticket and then meet me at the popcorn stand.” Poor thing.

Crickets. Then laughter from Rum Punch. I then look around to see if anyone got this on video. For shame. They did not. And then he says,

Cause I knew man. I knew that if I paid, then she would want me to pay every.single.time.we.went.out.

Prolly so. But um errr I don’t know if that was the best way to handle the situation. Cause apprently it got back around to his folk that he is, "a cheap muhfcuka". Heh. And so now he’s on the hunt for a chick who will willingly pay her own way. “Good luck with that,” I said.

Look, I know that it’s hard out here for a pimp. And for a man with a regular job, who knows to be respectful enough to take a chick out to dinner and a show ‘fore asking her to drop 'dem draws. But it’s y’alls job to pay. It just is. And I know it ain't always right. Or fair. And it sucks (I'm guessing). But I have found a man who agrees and pretty much shut downs any naysayers.
In my eyes, any man worth his weight in salt will insist on picking up the tab when he takes a woman out. And I’m not talking just about when dating our courting. I mean if two platonic friends go out, the man picks up the tab. If a man goes out with a female coworker for appetizers and drinks to talk business, the man picks up the tab. If a man takes his sister or female cousin out, he picks up the tab. That’s just what I believe, right or wrong....For men who believe in pseudo-traditionalist roles, like me, it is his job to protect women, period. Not just women you want to sleep with, not just women you love, but every woman who entrusts herself to your company is now under your charge to be cared for.

Cause on the real the best thing about my male cousin coming to town a few months ago (aside being able to kick it with him) was that he paid for every-thang. Everythang? Everythang! Baby! Drinks, dinner, more drinks, and after I drove around for 10 minutes looking for parking, he said, “please find a lot. I’ll pay.” Sweetest words in the English language. Lol. And obviously he’s not trying to woo me, he just has common sense.

“The truth is,” I said to dude, “is that no chick is just gonna hang with you for kicks for a long stretch of time. This ain’t high school. People got goals.” And they usually involve marriage and baby carriages. And as you get older, and dating becomes more tiresome, that next person you meet who seems cool enough to see again, at least once, becomes a potential investment. And time and yes money spent with and on them determines their value.

Return on your investment in dating terms becomes – if you ain’t spending no money on me, then why am I spending my time with you? I mean I can go to the movies with my homegirls. Hit up a happy hour solo and find a nig who'll buy me a drink. Or the tried and true Rum Punch method: flirt with the bartenders. You ain't that great company, my nygga.

This is not to say that women should be gold diggers and stick nigs (especially everyday, regular ones who are just tryna make it) for their paper. Or that they should never offer to pay. Or treat their man. Or shoooot buy the snacks, while he buys the tickets. But this is to say that in this dating/courtship two step, you have to invest to earn interest.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Time Keeps on Slipping

So a couple weeks ago I was watching 60 minutes and Andy Rooney aka “Eyebrows” as Rum Punch calls him was opining about the passage of time.

He felt time flied because we are constantly looking forward to what is going to happen next. Months that we don’t have anything planned, some to drag along. When it was February and there is 3 feet of snow on the ground and how many of us wished that it was a lovely spring day in May? *Amaretto raises her hand* And well now May is here and I wonder what happened to March and April. How many parents, while sitting in their cubicles all year long for that nice family summer vacation, only to then wonder when their kids are going back to school? But it’s hard to live in the moment, especially since no one teaches us how to do it. We learn that we have to prepare for tests, and get into college to get a good job, so we can make money. But how many of us are taught to stop and smell the roses. Or at least appreciate the monotomy of life. Eyebrows was stating that it’s these lazy days that make time last longer.

And yet while I sit in my cubicle I am already thinking about the graduations, birthday parties, weekend getaways and cookout that will span the summer months. And once it’s all said and done I’ll be thinking about the holidays and then the new year in which I will turn 30! And in all of this planning I wonder what moments I’ve missed out on? Today was just a regular ole Tuesday. Went to work, surfed the net, goofed off with coworks, ate, watched some
random sketch comedy show on TV that made me laugh. And now I’m rushing to come up with something before Tuesday is over.

And I can honestly say that I never looked forward to Tuesday, May 11th, but it’s time in my life that I’ll never get back and I’m going to try to appreciate that.

See You In Seven

Monday, May 10, 2010

Can we get a book about that?

There has been a lot of talk lately about single women and how are standards may be too high.... so I decided to conduct a little experiment. I have nothing to loose. I was raised to believe that man is supposed to be able to provide and protect. Or as my friend would say, "She is looking for a man who is financially and emotionally secure and mature." I hear that! But as of late, I feel as if the response for wanting these quality means that our standards are too high. So let's just say I put those standards aside, which I did for the past few months. Give me a second while I explain what I got.

1. The ex-husband with a younger girlfriend who wants to know if we could take me out. Meets me on the train in the morning and decides he wants to ride the same train with me in the evening. After a 1 hour waiting on me to finish work and a 1.5 hour train ride, he realizes I am not laying with his old behind, he has yet to call me back. Now if I had gone with my gut reaction there wouldn't have been no riding home together. But no harm, no foul... I had a good time chatting and laughing on the way home that Friday night.

2. Young boy stops me on my way into the office, tells me he wants to take me out on the town but can't pick up the phone to call. Instead he text and asks if I live by myself and if he could come over. URGH! I told him that was inappropriate and I was not interested in being his whore. I have enough D1cks to choose from, thank you. And you wonder why I treat you like just another dude!

3. Lastly, a 36 year old who is unsure about almost everything in his life. (sigh) Too exhausted to type the rest but he is the only sign of potential.

Don't get me wrong, the time spent entertaining all three of these men was delightful but nothing I am willing to invest in. So much energy is spent on women bettering themselves to find a good man. When am I going to hear a brother say I am trying to get my ish together so I can attract a certain caliber of woman. Or is there no need to because there are more women than men in the world?

Can we get a book about that? (sigh)

Much luv until next week peace :)