before i jump out the window, what's your name?

ladies, you ever meet a guy and the next thought that crosses your mind is what ya'll's babies will look like?  no.  ok guess that's just me.  i have this thing where my relationship speedometer goes from 0 to 100 in 60 seconds. lit-trally!  i think about what kinda father he would make, how good (or horribly sweaty) he'd be in bed, what he'll look like when he turns 72, all within a very short time of meeting the man.  and as in the case of kirk, youngin and a whole bunch of other nigs, they usually don't last till they next birthday, let alone 72. 

then i have to systematically throw out all the day dreams and fantasies useless information i had in my head about the possibilities.  i feel a wee bit of shame about this.  cause i know it's not right.  but it's okay.  i'm gonna make it anyway.

but, good people of the 5spot, how do i stop doing it?

i tried telling myself to have no expectations.  i'm unimpressed.  underwhelmed.   i'm just shaking your hand mr. man and saying hi.  that didn't work.  at all.

see i am an optimist.  i see the glass as full and overflowing with the goodness of life in abundance.  when i apply for a job, i don't worry about whether i will get an interview, i contemplate whether i will accept or reject an offer. and so it is with the men i meet. but it's not like step 3 is getting on one knee and propose.  it's all in my mind.  so it's all good.  right? 

and hey some very famous guys seem to suffer from the same affliction.  exhibit A:  ted mosby.  dude says i love you on the first date and thinks that every girl just might be the one.  ok, ok, he's fictional but all characters are based in truth.  what about jay-z?  he wrote a whole song about it.  artists always speak the truth.  it's the reeeallllll hip-hop!

or is it?  what say ya'll?

What do you say, Courvoisier? (Part 4)

Dear Courvoisier,
I want to know why an intelligent young lady, like myself gets kind of crazy after hooking up with a man who has rocked her world. It is not like I am one to easily fall in love but every once in a while someone comes along and puts it on me where it takes me a day or two to recover. Lord help me, if I act upon these urges and call asking for a second helping… it is seems to make the situation worst. I am not sure why I act this way knowing that I am not even interested in pursuing a relationship any further. Why do I get sprung so easily?
Sprung

Well, I am no expert but here is what I have to say. Sounds like homeboy made your oxytocin stock sky rocket! It is okay but note, this is NOT happening because you love him. Oxytocin is like the scientific excuse for why we women are sprung. It exists for men too but their testosterone seems to level it out so they don’t have the clingy effect afterwards. Lucky! It is a hormone that is released during sex or breast feeding that allows you to form a bond. (Hill mentions this in his book also… so if you haven’t read it consider this another nurge. Chuckle)

I say this with the funniest bone in my body, it is important for a woman to know this is a possible reason for wanting to hold onto the man you just met and hooked up with last night. We aren’t all whores (chuckle) well maybe some of you are. (chuckle)

Try on some of these for practice when your oxytocin won’t chill out…

1. Hit the gym or go for a walk. Get some of the other hormones going... and keep them going until you can’t anymore from the pain. (chuckle)
2. Every time you think to invite him over, call a girlfriend. Talk her head off about him or anything. Just don’t invite him over just yet. I haven’t figured out what to do if he hunts you down… you on your own with that one. (chuckle)
3. Pick back up that hobby of yours. You do have a hobby right? (chuckle)
4. Drink one glass of wine… just enough to take off the edge but not enough to make you call. (chuckle)

That’s all I got, hopefully the other four can help you with more suggestions.

Much luv until next week with low levels of oxytocin… peace :)