before i jump out the window, what's your name?

ladies, you ever meet a guy and the next thought that crosses your mind is what ya'll's babies will look like?  no.  ok guess that's just me.  i have this thing where my relationship speedometer goes from 0 to 100 in 60 seconds. lit-trally!  i think about what kinda father he would make, how good (or horribly sweaty) he'd be in bed, what he'll look like when he turns 72, all within a very short time of meeting the man.  and as in the case of kirk, youngin and a whole bunch of other nigs, they usually don't last till they next birthday, let alone 72. 

then i have to systematically throw out all the day dreams and fantasies useless information i had in my head about the possibilities.  i feel a wee bit of shame about this.  cause i know it's not right.  but it's okay.  i'm gonna make it anyway.

but, good people of the 5spot, how do i stop doing it?

i tried telling myself to have no expectations.  i'm unimpressed.  underwhelmed.   i'm just shaking your hand mr. man and saying hi.  that didn't work.  at all.

see i am an optimist.  i see the glass as full and overflowing with the goodness of life in abundance.  when i apply for a job, i don't worry about whether i will get an interview, i contemplate whether i will accept or reject an offer. and so it is with the men i meet. but it's not like step 3 is getting on one knee and propose.  it's all in my mind.  so it's all good.  right? 

and hey some very famous guys seem to suffer from the same affliction.  exhibit A:  ted mosby.  dude says i love you on the first date and thinks that every girl just might be the one.  ok, ok, he's fictional but all characters are based in truth.  what about jay-z?  he wrote a whole song about it.  artists always speak the truth.  it's the reeeallllll hip-hop!

or is it?  what say ya'll?

vacuous vocabulary

First my dad, then Rum Punch. Both sent me links to an op/ed piece in the Washington Post – He’s Not Black. So, I read it. Yet prior to reading it, I read I’m Not Post-Racial– another op-ed featured in the Post too. Read them both – and hear me out.

Kudos for Krissah Williams Thompson for being a member of the media and distancing herself from the trend du jour. I know many of my friends and myself included cringe when hearing or reading the words post-racial, a term that seems to have plagued the very existence of Barack’s senatorial and presidential campaign. What does it mean? What are you trying to imply? White folks we understand you want your kumbaya moment, however if we’re to come together it won’t be exclusively on your terms.

Marie Arana, it’s nice that you’re able to identify with President Elect Obama as you see yourself as a mut. However, the immigrant experience is not the same as the black American experience. So, granted you perceive the President-Elect’s presidency a certain way, many do not share your perception. Many immigrants who come to the United States view this nation as the beacon of light on top of the hill, they recite and echo Horatio Alger’s principles. And yet for many citizens of the land – black Americans -- they endured and fought for basic rights, only denied because they were black. And these same black Americans are mixed too – don’t be fooled and think miscegenation didn’t occur over the 400 years during slavery because it did. Now what the mainstream has exercised the fancy of not discussing is that many blacks have white blood runnin’ through their veins – although for the most part not by choice (that’s neither here nor there, it’s history). And in addition to Caucasian ancestry, many blacks have native, indigenous blood runnin’ through them too. And although, many blacks are are aware of this miscegenation in their family tree, this country forbade them from acknowledging who they were. So, now the one thing that sets blacks apart— albeit skin color-- will not nor should be expected to be dismissed or diminished of its inherent value since the President-Elect is being openly acknowledged by the mainstream media as black. Many of us already know several US presidents who had negroid blood runnin’ through their veins (but again, it’s neither or here nor there, it's history).

So, Marie you accurately state, "Progress has outpaced vocabulary."interesting observation. Although, lets not forget progress has a subjective quality. So, yes the President-Elect’s historic presidential candidacy is progress, yet I’m sure you and I can have a lively debate about whether we’ve moved a foot or mile. Many black folks would challenge you on the progress made in American society. Let’s see many of us ain’t feelin’ the criminal justice system, labor statistics, media/Hollywood diversity. The other day when I was in the grocery story at the checkout counter 20 magazines were within my reach only 3 had black women on the cover and if you control for black ownership of magazines than none of the magazines featured a black women on the cover. Progress? Be careful what you say Marie. In the world of high-fashion, there’s a black-out of models. Progress?

Marie, clearly you missed the interview with the Greta van Sustern and the President-Elect as a presidential contender when he reminds Ms. van Sustern that race is still relevant in the United States, because upon departure he was fully aware nary one cabbie would stop for him New York City. Progress? Marie, race is still a salient factor of the American experience. And as that realization torments you rest assured, it torments us too. If you thought Americans could reconcile 4 centuries as a cliff note in the history books due to this historic election – your naivete has got the best of you.

Black folks we’ve got to be a bit more audible and visible when the mainstream tries to hurl these packaged soundbites. White folks we understand your hastiness to run away from the dark passages from American history, but check with us first – so we can keep it real wit’ cha!

cheers,

Bellini