WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


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-The Five Spot

Thursday, March 25, 2010

before i jump out the window, what's your name?

ladies, you ever meet a guy and the next thought that crosses your mind is what ya'll's babies will look like?  no.  ok guess that's just me.  i have this thing where my relationship speedometer goes from 0 to 100 in 60 seconds. lit-trally!  i think about what kinda father he would make, how good (or horribly sweaty) he'd be in bed, what he'll look like when he turns 72, all within a very short time of meeting the man.  and as in the case of kirk, youngin and a whole bunch of other nigs, they usually don't last till they next birthday, let alone 72. 

then i have to systematically throw out all the day dreams and fantasies useless information i had in my head about the possibilities.  i feel a wee bit of shame about this.  cause i know it's not right.  but it's okay.  i'm gonna make it anyway.

but, good people of the 5spot, how do i stop doing it?

i tried telling myself to have no expectations.  i'm unimpressed.  underwhelmed.   i'm just shaking your hand mr. man and saying hi.  that didn't work.  at all.

see i am an optimist.  i see the glass as full and overflowing with the goodness of life in abundance.  when i apply for a job, i don't worry about whether i will get an interview, i contemplate whether i will accept or reject an offer. and so it is with the men i meet. but it's not like step 3 is getting on one knee and propose.  it's all in my mind.  so it's all good.  right? 

and hey some very famous guys seem to suffer from the same affliction.  exhibit A:  ted mosby.  dude says i love you on the first date and thinks that every girl just might be the one.  ok, ok, he's fictional but all characters are based in truth.  what about jay-z?  he wrote a whole song about it.  artists always speak the truth.  it's the reeeallllll hip-hop!

or is it?  what say ya'll?


Dirty Red said...

Alls I can say is as long as there is no sloppy-top and excessive moaning and groaning in those first 3 minutes, then I guess you are alright. There is nothing wrong with sizing a dude up when you meet him. You should expect a man to meet up to your expectations of what you want from a man whenever you meet him. To me this shows that you have pride about who you choose to associate with and who you let into your life. So don't change nothing. Besides we all know that a woman knows within the first 3 minutes of meeting a dude if she is going to give him some or not. LOL

Rum Punch said...

HA! Great! Now I'll have Pharrell's (false)tto voice in my head all day. Anywho. I agree w/ Dirty Red. It's good that you recognize this behavior - that's always the first step - and now it's about having control and restraint and not picking out wedding dresses after the first date. But I think it's just human nature for a chick who is pushing 30, who wants some babies, and by extension a huzband, to play the 'I wonder' game. Just gotta remain grounded in reality though or else your feelings will get hurt.

Rum Punch said...

Ha! And now excuse me miss is playin on the radio! Pharrell musta wanted mw to hear him in living color. Lol.

MrsMeany said...

MJ - your thoughts are YOUR THOUGHTS! it's human nature to think about the what ifs...as long as you don't come off as a Fatal Attraction nut, it's all good! hahaha
(sometimes "nutty" behavior pays off: you know that i told MrMeany early in our relationship that he was the man that i was gonna marry. but i said it very matter-of-factly and that was that...i didn't have my dress, bridesmaids or hall picked out or anything premature like that, i just KNEW it, so i said it. but you KNOW that's my personality!)