better late than never

for the past few months it's been damn near impossible for me to post here.  not for a lack of thoughts and feelings swirling through my head.  not because there hasn't been plenty work dramer to editorialize.  but mostly because i didn't have time.  or i didn't make the time.  seemed like most thursdays of late i had something better to do or somewhere better to be.  and now that we've come to the last post, i regret not having posted on those thursdays past.  because now there won't be anymore thursdays here.

as i looked over the 200 pages or so of what i've written here, i'm amazed at the things that i've shared.  at the secrets i've let slip.  at the raw emotions that i've expressed.  and i am forever grateful for the opportunity to have written here.  to have opened myself up to you, our anonymous 10 to 20 regular readers.  shouts out to mrs. meany for always reading and commenting and to that other girl from jersey for never commenting but always reading!

when we started out, i thought i'd write about legal things since that's what i do for a living.  but actually law related topics took up only a small portion of what i've contributed here.  it wasn't until amaretto shouted me out on wednesday  "for always defending love in all it’s forms!" that i thought ahhh yes, love is the thing!

it's the thing i struggle with expressing some times with friends and family.  it's the thing i hold on to so tight for fear that if i let it show, i will lose it, lose myself.  it's the thing i so often wish i'd said in that moment when i felt most angry or sad or overjoyed.  but that i held inside and thought about over and over again after i walked away.


the beauty of the 5spot is that it has allowed me to show it. even on my perpetually delayed timing.  whatever i have been through, if it stuck with me, kept me up at nights, made me want to tell somebody about it, i could do it here.  i could sit down, think it over, read it back to myself and realize what my true feelings were about it.  and then hit post.

so thank you 5spot.  thank you dark&stormy, couvoisier, amaretto, bellini and rum punch.   thank you for putting up with my quirky inability to capitalize properly.  thank you for reading even when i wasn't quite on schedule, but always on time.

i love ya'll!