My job recently issued me a tracking device (aka Blackberry) so that I can be reached at all hours of the day. Initially I felt some type of way about being reachable all the time. I mean when I am off, I’m off. Sorry. I doubt the world will end…but being able to check my Yahoo mail and use Blackberry Messenger have been great highlights and time killers. So last night when I awoke from my slumber to urinate (it was like two in the morning), I noticed the little red light on Blackie flashing informing me that I had a message. Well you know I couldn’t very well fall back to sleep without knowing who had sent me something. Ugh, technology! I am a lot less patient than I use to be! No email is that important at 2am! But you could tell me that as I wiped sleep from my eyes and entered my password. Anyways with Blackberry in hand I read the following email forward and laughed until tears flowed from my eyes. So I am sharing and caring with you today because 1. I thought it was freaking hilarious 2. I have writers block like every Monday night/Tuesday morning and 3. I’m grown now and can be lazy when I see fit!
Random thoughts from people our (well, at least my) age..."
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. Indeed!
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work?You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix theproblem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We justfigured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. Who needs a red light to text?
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
-I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. Is it bad that I agree?
-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go aroundand say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive forthe rest of the day. Like right now!
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. And it's not like you can wear it again the next day!
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but nomatter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. I hate when they are on the sidewalk and when they are on the road acting like a car!
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drivebehind obeys the speed limit.
-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw theyhad included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at therestaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and thenestimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such alarge amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
Now if you didn’t think any of those were funny, please keep in mind it was 2 in the morning when I read them! :)
See You In Seven
SO LONG, FAREWELL...
The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot