WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.

SO LONG, FAREWELL...

The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot
Showing posts with label randomness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label randomness. Show all posts

Friday, July 30, 2010

Rum's Randoms

I've been deep in thought and I have no idea what to write about today. I have pieces of posts in my mind, but nothing concrete - and since I have things to do today (C) Katt Williams - I'm gonna just ramble. Try to follow along.

1. Everybody Hates Chris is a funny, funny show. I'm sad it was cancelled. Not that I ever knew what day or time it came on when it was actually on, but you know, I'm sad about the principle of it gettting cancelled. That it's one less Black show on the air.

2. I need someone to get me Season 2 of The Game on DVD. Lol.

3. I soo wish there was a Black version of 'How I Met Your Mother.' The show is soo hilarious! And they touch on so many themes, while accurately portraying the joys/pains/angst of going from late 20s to 30 (and on), of growing up and finding a way in life. The writing is great, the story lines are funny (and poignant at times), their continuity is awesome. I wish that Black people were given the chance to be creative, witty, and just be able to riff on the absurdity of everyday life. From banishing potential mates because they haven't seen certain movies (theirs was the Star Wars MJ and I agree in the Black version it would be the Five Heartbeats - ha!), or making a Murtaugh List of things you're too old to do once you hit 30, or just the differences between single people and those in a relationship. Ahhh it all blends perfectly. But no, we are blessed to have House of Payne and Meet the Browns with recycled storylines and plots that don't make sense - how is that baby was born last week and now she 10 years old?!?! Is what i say whenever my mother has it on. And then I walk out the room.

4. But then again I think that historically Black folks have not been encouraged to be creative. I remember one summer I worked with this program for "inner city" kids from DC and I taught English. I would give the kids a word for inspiration and then they had 5 minutes to write about anything they wanted. Half the five minutes were filled with, "Ms. Rum Punch what should we write about?" "Whatever comes to mind." "But what?" And this is why I think all this teach to the test will cripple our children. But that's a conversation for another day.

5. The other day I had Ocho Cinco's dating show, 'The Ultimate Catch' in the background and my father noted that today's TV sucks. Which is oh so true. But then he said, "it's so ego driven." Which is totally on point. I wonder if our children will even know what a sitcom is, or a drama. Soap operas will definitely be non existent. Will everyone just be walking around with a video camera, chronicling their lives? Although let the record show, if I had a video camera, I would be a total fool on the YouTube. Heh.

6. I just saw this commercial (it was on BET - cause I was watching 'The Game' don't ya know) and it was for federal student aid- and the Black guy who was supposed to be a "student" and in "college" was saying how he didn't have a father in his life. But his mother was STRONG and pushed him and helped him get through school. And his aunts believed in him. And told him he was goin' to college. And he didn't know nothin' bout this student loan stuff, but there were forms at his church! Basically it seemed like one stereotype after another - like the marketing/PR people got in a room and were like how can we reach the coloreds? We got it! A commercial talking about growing up without male figures, strong Black women and going to church. I mean they may as well thrown in that once the family was gathered around Big Mama's Sunday dinner table eathing fried chicken, greens, mac & cheese, she held up her hand and said, "now this family got to be that fist and help this boy get some student loans!!"

7. But then at the same time - mayhap this is truly more of a reality than I care to admit and this commercial resonated with the majority. And I am in the minority.

8. Sometimes when I watch Last Comic Standing I want to go try and be a stand up comedian. Not forever, but you know do one open mic. See if people would laugh or boo me off the stage. Or worse that nervous, polite laughter, that's like, 'who told her she was funny?' LOL!

9. I took a pretty awesome online writing workshop throughout the month of July that gave me an added dose of confidence in my skills and abilities. Ugh. Creating works of art for public consumption can be quite the daunting task. Well I mean when you want your work to be good. Anyone can create crap.

10. Have you ever felt no so fresh? Not down there! But in your life? Like you're not feeling bad, but not feeling great? You're good. You're ok. You're fine. But you want...something.

What you got random?

That's my time y'all!Happy Rum Punch Friday!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

People Who Annoy You!

So it's been that type of day. Work craziness mostly. What else is new when most of my time is spent at the job? Children beware, party and bullsh*t for as long as possible! But aside from work politics and coworkers. I find other things annoying such as the following:

How are you going to get mad at me for not giving you any change and you are begging for money?! N-ggers!

How are you going complain that they are shutting down the neighborhood grocery store and you and you're kids are stealing from it?! N-ggers!

How are you going to be a fried chicken establishment and run out of fried chicken?! N-ggers!

I have never been a fan of South Park but I googly eyes love this episode...for so many reasons! And today I just felt like laughing and smiling!



See You In Seven

Friday, December 4, 2009

Pass the Peas

Well I guess it's my turn for some random ramblings/musings/thoughts swirling around in my brain, cause it's been one of those weeks. Which leads me to

1. I'm tired. Like really, really tired. Not tired of this or that. But literally tired. Like what I imagine is the definition of fatigued.

2. Something really sweet and unexpected happened to me earlier this week that reminded me that...

3. While I do believe it's perfectly acceptable to show a guy interest, give him a nudge, and maybe even ask him out, it feels good to be pursued and...

4. I should stop saying I don't like meeting new people, because it doesn't totally suck and isn't nearly as bad as I make it up to be in my head, but I've realized that...

5. While I can, (but not necessarily do) talk to "anyone", just anyone can't talk to me and truly understand and enjoy the greatness that is Rum Punch. And I hate being watered down Rum Punch.

6. God is funny.

7. Sometimes what you think was. Wasn't. Not really. But you don't truly realize that until. Until you do.

8. I am on a 24 hour champagne diet, spillin' while I'm sippin', I encourage you to try it. I have been singing Money to Blow for the past week. And I don't know why I love that song so much cause Birdman's part sucks, Lil' Wayne is just a rambling fool these days and...

9. I can't stand Drake. Like at all. And yet that's a song that makes me wish I went to clubs, so I could act a fool and make it rain, I mean make it precipitate and also makes me

10. wish I had money to blow. And...

11. Some magical powers to teleport me and all my stuff from mama n'em's house to new house.

12. Earlier this week I went to the doctor and she said, "so you're 2 years from crossing the burning sands of 30 huh?" And I was like, "yeah. Thanks for the reminder." She also told me,

13. that I need to lose weight. And I was like, "yeah. Thanks for the reminder." Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna be battling this weight forever. This must be how Oprah feels. Only she has money to blow.

14. I also got a tetanus shot while at the doctor. I hate shots and made it known. And when it was all done she said, "just think you won't have to go through this pain for another 10 years. Now wouldn't it be great if that was the only painful thing that happened to you in 10 years?" Yes. It totally would. But then it wouldn't be life, I guess.

That's my time y'all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Random Musings

I enjoyed my extra hour of sleep

Even on the ground the leaves look very lovely this year

I am a stress eater

My co worker is very emotional

I hate moving

I’m thankful for my job, but I don’t love working

I am no longer a phone person, but I like texting and face to face conversations

People are surprised that President Obama hasn’t fixed everything yet

People will do anything for free stuff

Money will always come and go

Prayers do get answered

Walmart selling caskets is funny

Christmas is in 52 days

Fried chicken from some Chinese carryout is delicious

A new year starts in 58 days

Tights really keep you warm

Men love attention too

They always discontinue my favorite lip gloss

I miss television theme songs

It’s been a long time since I had a glass of chocolate milk

Reality home improvement shows make it look so easy

Children are an even greater commitment

Why do today what you can do tomorrow-is not something to live by

Next week I won’t wait this late to write a post!

See You In Seven

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Random Thoughts...

My job recently issued me a tracking device (aka Blackberry) so that I can be reached at all hours of the day. Initially I felt some type of way about being reachable all the time. I mean when I am off, I’m off. Sorry. I doubt the world will end…but being able to check my Yahoo mail and use Blackberry Messenger have been great highlights and time killers. So last night when I awoke from my slumber to urinate (it was like two in the morning), I noticed the little red light on Blackie flashing informing me that I had a message. Well you know I couldn’t very well fall back to sleep without knowing who had sent me something. Ugh, technology! I am a lot less patient than I use to be! No email is that important at 2am! But you could tell me that as I wiped sleep from my eyes and entered my password. Anyways with Blackberry in hand I read the following email forward and laughed until tears flowed from my eyes. So I am sharing and caring with you today because 1. I thought it was freaking hilarious 2. I have writers block like every Monday night/Tuesday morning and 3. I’m grown now and can be lazy when I see fit!

Random thoughts from people our (well, at least my) age..."

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. Indeed!

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work?You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix theproblem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We justfigured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. Who needs a red light to text?

- Was learning cursive really necessary?

-I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. Is it bad that I agree?

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go aroundand say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive forthe rest of the day. Like right now!

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. And it's not like you can wear it again the next day!

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but nomatter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. I hate when they are on the sidewalk and when they are on the road acting like a car!

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drivebehind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw theyhad included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at therestaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and thenestimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such alarge amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Now if you didn’t think any of those were funny, please keep in mind it was 2 in the morning when I read them! :)

See You In Seven


Monday, January 21, 2008

Much Ado About Nothing

I have a bunch of random shit on my mind today.

- Are you paying attention to the endless stories about black women being stalked and killed by former or current boyfriends/lovers/husbands? These nuccas are crazy! We (black women) better WAKE UP and take notice. Be aware. Be safe. Be careful. And most of all- pay attention to the signs. Mothersuckas don't turn psycho overnight. When your instinct tells you to run, get the hell outta dodge.

- Pedestrian safety is completely ignored by most motorists. Crossing the street is becoming a game of russian roulette. I'm going to start crossing the street in a shirt that says "Smile. You're on Youtube." That should keep me from becoming roadkill.

- What happened to the terror alert system? It's been yellow since September '07. Not that I ever cared about or payed attention to the whack system... But we used to get regular updates on the news.

- With all the constant talk about the race to the White House, I am wondering how much fuss do you make about your local elections (i.e. Governor, Senator, Congressional Rep., Council & Board members)? We [voters] have a greater impact on our local elections than national. What's your district number? Precinct?

- I do not have IM or Yahoo Messenger or anybody else's messenger service. Call me, text me, email me, fax me, or send a postcard. If none of the above works, then just cross me off your contact list. Please. Enough is enough already.

- Ever seen a black family on Super Nanny? 'Nuff said.

- I am an avid coupon clipper. I never see coupons for condoms. Never. Seen plenty for KY Jelly. I'm just saying...

- Why are folks still not recycling? You bag up your recyclable items just like the regular trash and sit it on the curb or at the dumpster just like regular trash. There are no extra steps. What's so hard about it? I guess laziness truly is self-destructive.

- Did you ever notice that Afghanistan's flag and the Black Liberation flag have the same colors?



Afghan Flag





Black Liberation Flag


Interesting. The Afghan people are most certainly Revolutionary But Gangsta. Lol.

- I think I'm the only person I know who doesn't have cable. Doesn't bother me at all... TV will f**k up your mind, fo' real. The day Comcast stops dictacting what channels I pay for is the day I renew my subscription. I do miss ESPN and TV One.

- Due to my boycotting the devil, I mean Comcast, I've been renting The Wire DVDs from the video store. That is one damn good show! I know I'm late but better late than never, right?


Congratulations to the ladies of The View From Here for surpassing 5000 hits!
I am proud to be a part of this wonderful collaboration.
I am truly grateful for your infinite intellect, wisdom, humor, and love.





Here's a toast to
Amaretto

Bellini

Mint Julep

Rum Punch





Tumultuously Yours,

Dark & Stormy

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Shut Up and Drive

Live long enough and you surely will see and hear almost anything. Just look around ya'll. Could you have imagined a music player, a computer and a phone as one device? Who could have possibly foreseen that crossbreeding an apple and a grape would birth the decadent grapple? There are so many mergers and synergies it should no longer shock and surprise when unions are formed between things that weren't naturally meant to go together...

...But nothing prepared me for the Karaoke cabbie I hired on Friday night. I was just trying to get home ya'll! But as he missed my exit he must have realized that now he had a captive audience...

"Do you Karaoke?" But before I could say "Whaaaat?" and tilt my head to the side in confusion-

This dude had his portable Karaoke monitor mounted beneath the ever increasing meter. Mic in hand. Music playing. And he was siiiiiiiiiiing
"Lady In Red". And damnit if I didn't have a red dress on-but he chose the song, he explained, because he "love, love song" so it was a pure coincidence. Too bad he SUCKED! And no, I'm sorry, but cabbies should be watching the road- especially when its raining-or maybe asking me how my night went. Not sharing a passion for empty orchestras with strangers. Where was his shame? Where was his embarrassment?

I mean really, what the world needs now is shame and embarrassment! The "Do You" and "Keeping It Real" umbrellas can only cover so much. Haven't you noticed this epidemic spreading? Folks just popping off and being loud-I guess to prove their point-even though they are clearly wrong. Or how about that dude who just wants, not only 2 front teeth for Christmas because he only has one tooth, but also your phone number. Oh and hello to the club chick whose titty just popped out her shirt, she notices and lets it just hang until the end of the song. I mean at least Janet mocked embarrassment. Am I the only one seeing these people?

I don't want folks to walk around with their heads down. Embarrassed every time they fart or shamed at their mistakes. I don't want people to have low self-esteem. I'm just saying-I need them to accept that I may not be ready for all their realness.

Oh and how could I forget the young ones? Haven't they taken it to the NEXT more ig'nant LEVEL? I'm not even gonna to speak on them dressing themselves-I understand and can appreciate creativity. But do you have to be loud. Cussing each other. Calling everyone niggas and bitches? Especially in public? On the train? In front of *gasps* white folk? I know by proxy I'm feeling a little shame and I'm greatly embarrassed. But why aren't they?

No. No. No. This won't do! It's Shaming Time! And I'm doling it out to the needy!

To the lady who got loud and belligerent with me in front of her son: Maybe if you had read the policy that you signed, you would have known that I couldn't help you. Instead you embarrassed yourself and don't be surprised when 'lil Rufus cusses you out for not getting his way.

To the man with one tooth: You thought I was cute. Thanks. I appreciate your confidence. But I need a full set of chompers to entertain any suitor. Nothing personal, just a preference. There might be a girl lacking a few incisors who would welcome you openly.

To the chick at the club: Damn! I know that was your song girl! But you could have pulled up, tucked in, and walked it out to the bathroom real quick. Just this once!

And finally To my Karaoke Cabbie: Wherever you are in the DC metro area today. I'm sure you're singing badly and missing exits. I'm sorry I wasn't ready for all your realness the other night. If we meet again I've got a song picked out to sing. It's by Rihanna. Have you heard of it? It's called
"Shut Up and Drive"!


See You In Seven