i made it!

a year and one day. that's how long i've been at my current job. and i really didn't think i'd make it this long. it has truly been an experience.

see about a year and a month ago, i made the decision to leave my first real job in the real world after only 7 months. that's right 7 months. i just couldn't take it. the work was boring and i was suffocating in my hometown, the small southern city where i was living at the time. i felt isolated and cut off from the things i had grown to love during the 8 years that i had been away. no music shows, no plays about black folks, no traveling museum exhibitions that peaked my interest and when they did come through town there was no one to enjoy them with, although i did become pretty good at going it alone. few friends that i could call to go out for drinks after work or catch that indy movie playing across town. and even fewer like-minded folks in town who wanted to talk about the things i did or cared about the issues that i did, not about who was dating who, or who had a baby from who. most of the young black professionals (a term i use very loosely) were either boo'ed up or ho'ing it out.

so i made the leap to a bigger city complete with shiny new job, more money and longer hours. much longer hours. and almost immedietely i wondered and cried and lamented (to those who would listen) what the hell did i get myself into? this job sucked worse than my first job. granted i was making way, way, way more money but it still sucked. and i soothed my pain with retail therapy, weekend trips and dinners out with my law school friends who were living the same horrible existence.

but i took the time to think through my reasons for entering the profession and my goals for the next 5 to 10 years of my life. i listened as some friends told me to suck it up, keep making that money, fool. and i made it through the late nights at the office, the smug white men who handed out assignments, the drudgery that is corporate law firm life for one year, one day and counting...

but it wouldn't be a mint julep story with out a twist, now would it...you one of them fishes, i know your mind switches (c) common; 2 fish, 1 swimmin' up stream1 swimmin' down livin' in a dream (c) erykah badu

i came up with a plan. and squashed all the voices inside my head that said that i was stuck with the hand i was dealt, that i couldn't keep jumping around, running from corner to corner like a chicken with her head cut off. i remembered what gave me passion in law school, i crunched the numbers and realized that it was just me, no kids, nobody who was depending on me to make it but me and decided that now was as good a time as any to go after my dreams.

so now i'm on my way to a new job. in a new city. in a new area of the law.

i'll let you digest that...

i'm still chewing on it myself. i'm excited and scared all in one. this will be the biggest challenge of my life and i have no idea how i'm gonna make it. but this thought gives me comfort because i'm in a place where i don't solely depend on myself, something i've become very good at doing, i'll have to depend on someone else to make a way...

but in the mean time let's celebrate, I MADE IT! take it away tye!