It might be because the seasons are changing, or the fact that we will soon be signing off the 5 spot, but I find myself wondering “What’s next?”
You know what I mean?
Think about all the things you have planned for yourself, from the initial formation of an idea to finally accomplishing what you set out to do. It’s quite a consuming and often laborious process. I remember during my senior year so much of my time, money and energy went into preparing for prom. There was finding a dress, finding a date, finding a limo, who’s going to chip in and pay for the limo, where are we eating dinner, who’s going to fix my hair and do my make-up? And then after months of preparation it was over. Just like that. There were so many things that needed to be taken care of! All this for just one night of my life! And what came next? Well graduation, college, and life- with all of it’s bells and whistles, highs and lows, joys and sorrows.
My pastor preached an excellent sermon a few weeks ago about answered prayers and it had me floored. I won’t get all preachy with ya’ll but he talked about a couple who had prayed for a child for years and years, had defined and even labeled their lives as the childless old couple. But when they finally conceived a child, and stood face to face with no longer being barren, but fruitful parents-they didn’t know how to act. I was on the floor because initially I was like how could they react anyway other than with joy?! But then I got to thinking about myself. Much of my twenties have been marked by, and dare I say I let these twenties be defined by my situations. The money I didn’t have, the debt I did have, the degrees I didn’t have, the job I wanted, the spouse I didn’t have and on and on. And now that I am at a point where things have changed, I don’t know how to act! What is one to do when once heavy burdens are lifted, and dreams are realized and promises fulfilled? It’s almost like when the slaves toiled in the South, were abused by their captors, fought for a freedom they had distantly hoped for and when they got that freedom-some wanted to stay on pickin’ master’s cotton! And as foolish as that is, I can understand it because for so long they knew nothing else.
And as people folks we can get use to certain things. The friends that don’t treat us right. The bosses that don’t appreciate what we do. The struggle to make ends meet. The carrot we’ve keep chasing. The plans that we keep making for that one day when… But little thought goes into what to do when the ends are meet, we grab that carrot and that one day arrives. It can be scary when we to come to that place where we get all that we hope for and deserve because it’s the unknown. After struggling for so long… After being abused for so long…After being a slave for so long… now what?
But I believe that change is the one thing we can count on in this here life of ours. And I am accepting the fact that we are (well let me just speak for me-I am) continual works in progress, being and becoming our best. And once a dream is realized, even if it took nearly a decade to get there, there is no need to fear what’s going to happen next! Why? Because you deserve to cross that finish line, grab your trophy, get your photo took…and then start planning how to win the next race.
See You In Seven
Showing posts with label living life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label living life. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
New Age Ageist
For the past 5 years at my good government job I have noticed that I am usually the youngest person in the room (I'm also usually the only person of color-but that's a post for another day). Most of us know that this can be either a gift or a gift horse. Youth excuses ignorance, explains impatience and breeds innovation. That’s the gift. Youth also allows people to ignore you and assume that you don’t know nothing about nothing. We have all been the youngest person in the room but gradually this changes.
At my job I have had many a manager say that they are eager to hear the ideas of the newer younger workers only to default to doing things how they always have done them. Mix this with a manager telling my coworker that she hadn’t paid her dues to deserve a promotion. Yet in within the past five years this woman has been promoted and has taken this same manager’s job! Today, a great debate in my department is how we should present the materials for a training session we are having next month. A coworker who is a few years older than I suggested that we give the participants their materials on a USB flash drive. This is a great idea, especially since most of the participants are flying to participate. The older folks in group hemmed and hawed about flash drives. They wanted them to have large three ring binders, so they could have a hard copy of the material and could turn the pages along with the presenter. Huh?! Is it not 2010? Aren't the airlines shaking us down for everything we bring onto their planes? Can we get with the going green/everything is electronic now program? It can be frustrating dealing with people who were alive in the 1940s!
Sometimes you just want the old folks to sit down somewhere so we can more forward…
Then I read on Yahoo news that they are already trying to come up with a name for the next generation. The ones who have always had mobile devices, the internet and only one white president prior to Mr. Obama. As I read on I realized that at some point this no name generation will be in the workforce with me; being innovative and young-and probably wondering when this lady who was alive in the 1980s will go sit down somewhere. And this realization got me to thinking about the aging process. I mean it is inevitable of course, but how does one go about doing it realistically and gracefully? Even now I have to remind myself that by all appearances I am a responsible adult-and though I long for the ease and breeze of childhood those days are over.
I wonder if anyone ever really reconciles this fact. Do 80 year-olds in fact feel like they are 80? I’m sure their physical ailments clue them in, but what about mentally? In my younger days I believed that 30 looked and felt a certain way. Don’t ask me what that was is, because as I near 30 I can’t imagine it feeling any different than how I feel now-yet and still I know that how I feel now is not what I ever imagined. Make sense? Maybe only to me. But these are the things I think about when I see people who are eligible to retire still roaming the halls of my office. Maybe they don't see themselves as old or even as being progress blockers. And what about my 59 year old coworker carrying around a picture from her youth and planning to undergo risky plastic surgery to look better…and feel better about herself. Why should she feel bad about getting older? Yet at the same time I want these older people to get out the way so the younger, more intuned young people can run things! Then I pause and think about how one day it could be me who is standing in the way. Holding on to the past and thinking these young kids don’t know nothing about nothing.
See You In Seven
At my job I have had many a manager say that they are eager to hear the ideas of the newer younger workers only to default to doing things how they always have done them. Mix this with a manager telling my coworker that she hadn’t paid her dues to deserve a promotion. Yet in within the past five years this woman has been promoted and has taken this same manager’s job! Today, a great debate in my department is how we should present the materials for a training session we are having next month. A coworker who is a few years older than I suggested that we give the participants their materials on a USB flash drive. This is a great idea, especially since most of the participants are flying to participate. The older folks in group hemmed and hawed about flash drives. They wanted them to have large three ring binders, so they could have a hard copy of the material and could turn the pages along with the presenter. Huh?! Is it not 2010? Aren't the airlines shaking us down for everything we bring onto their planes? Can we get with the going green/everything is electronic now program? It can be frustrating dealing with people who were alive in the 1940s!
Sometimes you just want the old folks to sit down somewhere so we can more forward…
Then I read on Yahoo news that they are already trying to come up with a name for the next generation. The ones who have always had mobile devices, the internet and only one white president prior to Mr. Obama. As I read on I realized that at some point this no name generation will be in the workforce with me; being innovative and young-and probably wondering when this lady who was alive in the 1980s will go sit down somewhere. And this realization got me to thinking about the aging process. I mean it is inevitable of course, but how does one go about doing it realistically and gracefully? Even now I have to remind myself that by all appearances I am a responsible adult-and though I long for the ease and breeze of childhood those days are over.
I wonder if anyone ever really reconciles this fact. Do 80 year-olds in fact feel like they are 80? I’m sure their physical ailments clue them in, but what about mentally? In my younger days I believed that 30 looked and felt a certain way. Don’t ask me what that was is, because as I near 30 I can’t imagine it feeling any different than how I feel now-yet and still I know that how I feel now is not what I ever imagined. Make sense? Maybe only to me. But these are the things I think about when I see people who are eligible to retire still roaming the halls of my office. Maybe they don't see themselves as old or even as being progress blockers. And what about my 59 year old coworker carrying around a picture from her youth and planning to undergo risky plastic surgery to look better…and feel better about herself. Why should she feel bad about getting older? Yet at the same time I want these older people to get out the way so the younger, more intuned young people can run things! Then I pause and think about how one day it could be me who is standing in the way. Holding on to the past and thinking these young kids don’t know nothing about nothing.
See You In Seven
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Life to the Fullest
My latest guilty pleasure reality show is Hoarders on A&E. It is amazing to see people’s homes filled to the top with treasures (aka trash) that they have collected over the years. We are talking about rooms filled with stacks of newspaper, clothes from 1972, loaded guns buried in closets where rat feces have been found. Refrigerators filled with spoiled food, growing things within and outside of them. We are talking about adult protective services coming to take folks out their homes because they are just unlivable and naaaaaaaaaasty! It is just fascinating to watch. It’s even more amazing to discover that these hoarders are married and have children who have learned to live with and deal with their crap. A couple weeks ago a couple purchased a second home because their first one became inhabitable because of the items the wife had collected, paying two mortgages left them cash strapped and facing foreclosure, but they couldn’t sell either home because they were both filled the hoarding wife’s trash.
Last night’s episode featured Jim and Claudie, a black couple from Illinois who had been married for 37 years and had 12 children. Claudie’s hoarding had gotten so bad that Jim told her that he was going out for a little bit and that he would see her later. Well…Jim didn’t come home for over a year and during Jim’s absence Claudie was forced to live in a homeless shelter! It was pure craziness, and if I was able to get to Youtube on this here government computer I totally share the link… But in a few words the episode was deliciously tragic to watch. And I got to thinking about Jim who told his wife that he’d be back in a few and high tailed it off to Vegas to live a new life, and probably with a new wife. Many other viewers have their opinions about Jim but while watching the show I was beginning to get a little jealous of Jim. Here this man was in his 70s, been married to his wife for decades, has a house in shambles and he is able to get up and walk away? Say word? That’s both messed up and awesome at the same time! Messed up only because adulthood teaches us to strap responsibility on our backs by way of bills, work and family and carry it singing a song and wearing a smile. But here I am in my 20s and I am often reciting the childlike phrase “I don’t wanna!” And as Rum Punch mentioned the other day it’s easy to get into a wash-rinse-repeat cycle of living our lives. And so it’s a little bit awesome that Jim could look at his situation (and I will acknowledge that Jim isn’t wrapped too tight either) throw up the deuces and keep it moving to Vegas. I wish I had the guts to do the same sometimes.
So at the church house on Sunday pastor got his preach on talking about living life to the fullest. And I began to wonder if I was. Honestly and truly. Surely there is more to life that working, paying bills, meeting friends for dinner and movies. Surely there is more to life than amassing a whole bunch of things and hoarding them in my closet. But does living life to the fullest mean walking away from the mundane just because I don’t wanna? Imma say no. And I’m saying that because I’m an adult and that’s what I am suppose to say. But if I am not filling my life with the aforementioned things, then what should I be filling it with?
I guess how people should live their lives is a question that has been asked for ages. Be it watching a hobby develop into a way of life, dissolving stereotypes by climbing the corporate ladder, representing the misrepresented or interpreting life through the written word we are filling our lives with something. Maybe the key to living life to the fullest is sharing it with others.
See You In Seven
Last night’s episode featured Jim and Claudie, a black couple from Illinois who had been married for 37 years and had 12 children. Claudie’s hoarding had gotten so bad that Jim told her that he was going out for a little bit and that he would see her later. Well…Jim didn’t come home for over a year and during Jim’s absence Claudie was forced to live in a homeless shelter! It was pure craziness, and if I was able to get to Youtube on this here government computer I totally share the link… But in a few words the episode was deliciously tragic to watch. And I got to thinking about Jim who told his wife that he’d be back in a few and high tailed it off to Vegas to live a new life, and probably with a new wife. Many other viewers have their opinions about Jim but while watching the show I was beginning to get a little jealous of Jim. Here this man was in his 70s, been married to his wife for decades, has a house in shambles and he is able to get up and walk away? Say word? That’s both messed up and awesome at the same time! Messed up only because adulthood teaches us to strap responsibility on our backs by way of bills, work and family and carry it singing a song and wearing a smile. But here I am in my 20s and I am often reciting the childlike phrase “I don’t wanna!” And as Rum Punch mentioned the other day it’s easy to get into a wash-rinse-repeat cycle of living our lives. And so it’s a little bit awesome that Jim could look at his situation (and I will acknowledge that Jim isn’t wrapped too tight either) throw up the deuces and keep it moving to Vegas. I wish I had the guts to do the same sometimes.
So at the church house on Sunday pastor got his preach on talking about living life to the fullest. And I began to wonder if I was. Honestly and truly. Surely there is more to life that working, paying bills, meeting friends for dinner and movies. Surely there is more to life than amassing a whole bunch of things and hoarding them in my closet. But does living life to the fullest mean walking away from the mundane just because I don’t wanna? Imma say no. And I’m saying that because I’m an adult and that’s what I am suppose to say. But if I am not filling my life with the aforementioned things, then what should I be filling it with?
I guess how people should live their lives is a question that has been asked for ages. Be it watching a hobby develop into a way of life, dissolving stereotypes by climbing the corporate ladder, representing the misrepresented or interpreting life through the written word we are filling our lives with something. Maybe the key to living life to the fullest is sharing it with others.
See You In Seven
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
A Permanent Mistake?
Last week my friend and I had a discussion about tattoos. I have one. He doesn’t and is thinking about getting one. I laughed audibly and in my soul because he’s well past the age where a person should be thinking about getting tatted up for the first time. I told him that personally I think tattoos are foolish and if you haven’t done it in your teens or early twenties then the ship has sailed, get off the dock. It was an interesting conversation because at one point I also confessed that there are times now when I regret getting a tattoo and when I think about getting another one. And while this admission didn’t make any sense to him whatsoever my point was that you can only do certain foolish things at certain ages. Right?
Right. Okay. Please excuse me as I attempt to segue here.
Around this time last year my coworker told me that her homegirl had secretly gotten married. I met her homegirl a few times for lunches and I was blown away by this news! Mainly because her homegirl-a Black woman well into her 30s came off as a strong, educated, no nonsense (and Lord and ya’ll please forgive me) but possible Lesbian type of chick. It was just in my nosey attempt to confirm the latter that my coworker revealed that she had gotten married and only four people in the world knew about it (five including me). Who wasn’t included in the news were their mommas and siblings, this was a close friends only affair. After the shock wore off I was amazed and a little jealous of her friend’s ability to let caution blow in the wind. He’s a younger man, they hadn’t known each other for a long time and in fact lived in different cities. But when it came down to it, they took the marriage step because at the end of the day the relationship was about them…not everyone else.
Fast forward 365 days and my coworker’s homegirl is going through hell. She’s discovered a lot of things she didn’t know about her husband…including, but not limited to bouts with mental illness. She’s thinking about how to get out of this marriage with her sanity intact. With so many things going on in her life (she recently lost her job), homegirl ended up telling her mother. And if you can imagine a parent finding out that their child has done something secretly and more than a year has passed… then you know what her mom’s reaction was. It was more of a how could you have been so stupid then how do you need me to support you through this. And homegirl’s situation is a difficult and sad one right now.
I just think about how for a year I have admired this woman. She did something that I never could imagine myself doing…and to me that’s awesome! When I encountered homegirl in my post knowledge I couldn’t help but look at her a little differently. Giving her silent “you go girl” shout outs as she talked about her job or the holidays. But now that it hasn’t worked out and she’s going through, I suddenly find myself wondering how a woman well into her 30s, strong, educated and no nonsense could be foolish enough to let this happen to her. He mother asked her if she was so desperate to get married that doing this made sense to her? Ouch!
I just don’t know ya’ll. Aren’t secret marriages just for the sake of love and the relationship the type of foolish thing people do in their early 20s? Like tattoos, they may seem good at the time, and even cute for a little while afterward. But time always keeps moving, eventually someone else will see what you’ve done, and that totally bold and awesome thing you’ve done, might not look so cool when you realize that it’s now permanent part of you.
See You In Seven
Right. Okay. Please excuse me as I attempt to segue here.
Around this time last year my coworker told me that her homegirl had secretly gotten married. I met her homegirl a few times for lunches and I was blown away by this news! Mainly because her homegirl-a Black woman well into her 30s came off as a strong, educated, no nonsense (and Lord and ya’ll please forgive me) but possible Lesbian type of chick. It was just in my nosey attempt to confirm the latter that my coworker revealed that she had gotten married and only four people in the world knew about it (five including me). Who wasn’t included in the news were their mommas and siblings, this was a close friends only affair. After the shock wore off I was amazed and a little jealous of her friend’s ability to let caution blow in the wind. He’s a younger man, they hadn’t known each other for a long time and in fact lived in different cities. But when it came down to it, they took the marriage step because at the end of the day the relationship was about them…not everyone else.
Fast forward 365 days and my coworker’s homegirl is going through hell. She’s discovered a lot of things she didn’t know about her husband…including, but not limited to bouts with mental illness. She’s thinking about how to get out of this marriage with her sanity intact. With so many things going on in her life (she recently lost her job), homegirl ended up telling her mother. And if you can imagine a parent finding out that their child has done something secretly and more than a year has passed… then you know what her mom’s reaction was. It was more of a how could you have been so stupid then how do you need me to support you through this. And homegirl’s situation is a difficult and sad one right now.
I just think about how for a year I have admired this woman. She did something that I never could imagine myself doing…and to me that’s awesome! When I encountered homegirl in my post knowledge I couldn’t help but look at her a little differently. Giving her silent “you go girl” shout outs as she talked about her job or the holidays. But now that it hasn’t worked out and she’s going through, I suddenly find myself wondering how a woman well into her 30s, strong, educated and no nonsense could be foolish enough to let this happen to her. He mother asked her if she was so desperate to get married that doing this made sense to her? Ouch!
I just don’t know ya’ll. Aren’t secret marriages just for the sake of love and the relationship the type of foolish thing people do in their early 20s? Like tattoos, they may seem good at the time, and even cute for a little while afterward. But time always keeps moving, eventually someone else will see what you’ve done, and that totally bold and awesome thing you’ve done, might not look so cool when you realize that it’s now permanent part of you.
See You In Seven
Monday, March 9, 2009
My Little Happy Place
Ahh...it is one of those Monday mornings where no matter how hard you try, you just can't get it going. This weekend was my first weekend since vacation and I was convinced it was what I needed to get back on track. But then I had to ask myself, do I really want to do that. It never seems to amaze me how life can get so hectic and carried away in the blink of an eye. One day you sipping rum punch and next you crying your eyes over lost love to giving your friend a piece of your mind because ought to know better than to call b!tch in the heat of an arguement, (Nah, you know dat wasn't me cause I don't call those folks friends...chuckle) quickly followed by emails from your boss on Saturday who has yet to let you know about that promotion and delayed bonus you were promised. Ohh...it is just so overwhelming sometimes and difficult to push this crazy, insignificant stuff aside to focus on something more fulfilling.
As I sit up in bed thinking, what the hell I am going to say/write today...I think I am going to take you guys to my little happy place. Yup, I can share...chuckle.
There is something to be said about the little things. Two weeks ago, this same time, I met a man by the name of Thomas. Thomas was living on an island with no running water and scheduled electricity for seventeen years. I said, "Thomas, no internet?" He said, "Once a week I try to email the family back home." WOW Thomas! This was only day 3 for me with no internet, cell, television, radio, etc and I thought I was going to loose it.
He told me that he realized that if he wanted to be happy he had to let go. Get the hell out of here, Thomas...that is crazy talk! He said where he is from (Germany) people woke up at 5 am every morning to work in a factory and they were miserable. If they came in with a smile on their faces, people thought they were on drugs. Here when people don't wake up with smiles on their faces at 5 am in the morning something is seriously wrong and they have far less than those back home. He noticed their worries were different...rain water, food and your health were most important.
So no movies? (chuckle)
He said, "Let's just say we enjoy life! We play lots of softball and have many kids"
I bet you do. (chuckle) With no lamp poles and a discoteca only on Saturday nights for 2 hours I bet you DO have a lot of kids. (chuckle)
Fast forward 14 days later, I think 12 days of no internet, tv, cell, etc was GREAT! It was no where as bad as I thought it was going to be. I took a minute to not focus on me as we are always encouraged and focus on others. Give a little bit of myself to those who needed it. I now know how good it feels to just live. Puts things in perspective of what's really a important. What things should really get you down.
With that said I am going into work today with a smile on my face because it could be worst!
Much luv until next week...peace :)
As I sit up in bed thinking, what the hell I am going to say/write today...I think I am going to take you guys to my little happy place. Yup, I can share...chuckle.
There is something to be said about the little things. Two weeks ago, this same time, I met a man by the name of Thomas. Thomas was living on an island with no running water and scheduled electricity for seventeen years. I said, "Thomas, no internet?" He said, "Once a week I try to email the family back home." WOW Thomas! This was only day 3 for me with no internet, cell, television, radio, etc and I thought I was going to loose it.
He told me that he realized that if he wanted to be happy he had to let go. Get the hell out of here, Thomas...that is crazy talk! He said where he is from (Germany) people woke up at 5 am every morning to work in a factory and they were miserable. If they came in with a smile on their faces, people thought they were on drugs. Here when people don't wake up with smiles on their faces at 5 am in the morning something is seriously wrong and they have far less than those back home. He noticed their worries were different...rain water, food and your health were most important.
So no movies? (chuckle)
He said, "Let's just say we enjoy life! We play lots of softball and have many kids"
I bet you do. (chuckle) With no lamp poles and a discoteca only on Saturday nights for 2 hours I bet you DO have a lot of kids. (chuckle)
Fast forward 14 days later, I think 12 days of no internet, tv, cell, etc was GREAT! It was no where as bad as I thought it was going to be. I took a minute to not focus on me as we are always encouraged and focus on others. Give a little bit of myself to those who needed it. I now know how good it feels to just live. Puts things in perspective of what's really a important. What things should really get you down.
With that said I am going into work today with a smile on my face because it could be worst!
Much luv until next week...peace :)
Monday, January 5, 2009
Tea Party Discussion
It is that time again when everyone starts reflecting on the past year and looking forward to the New Year. And although I am not one for making resolutions, I do think of the New Year as a time to start fresh and a new. With my birthday right around the corner, I tend to always look back my younger selves and what made me so happy then.
Years ago someone told me that a part of being youthful was keeping the aspects of your life that truly made you happy as child alive as you get older. I try to implement this everyday but at the beginning of the year, especially around my birthday, I start to look back and see if there is anything that I might have neglected over the past year. Because even though you want to hold on to your youthful nature, you are suppose to wiser as you get older. (Warning not always the case for everyone…chuckle)
Anyway if I could have it my way, I would have a tea party the first Sunday of every year and invite my younger selves. This year the attendees would be me @ 17, me @ 22 and me now. Kind of like what probably goes on in Tara’s (from United States of Tara) head, when Tara is asleep. We all would nibble on different tea sandwiches while we chat about men, life, love, music, art and fashion.
Me @ 22, would talk about how life is about sacrifice and try to justify the career decisions she was making. She would go on and on about love and how fulfilling it is. And Me @ 17 and Me Now would be baffled by this talk and question where the real me went. Unlike Me Now, Me @ 17 would challenge this mentality. Me @ 17 is somewhat narrow-minded but she sure would remind both Me @ 22 and Me Now what is means to be true to myself.
I would like to think Me Now would be the leader of the tea party discussion but the truth is Me Now would have so much more to learn from Me @ 17 and Me @ 22. I honestly don’t think Me Now is old enough to pass on that much knowledge to the adult Mes of the past. Try me in ten more years. (chuckle)
With that said, what would we say to each other? Me @ 17 would voice disappointment. She would encourage Me Now to live life, do things that I enjoy; paint more at all costs. Me @ 22 would urge me to love again, put the past behind me like before and move forward. And Me Now would thank Me @ 17 and Me @ 22. Tell them that a lot of little compromises could put me completely off track so stay focused. We all would agree that too much alcohol is never good, at least one guilty pleasure is a must and to love everyone for who they are and not what they do for you.
It will be interesting to see what Me @ 30 and Me @40 would have to say...I can't wait.
Much luv until next week…peace :)
Years ago someone told me that a part of being youthful was keeping the aspects of your life that truly made you happy as child alive as you get older. I try to implement this everyday but at the beginning of the year, especially around my birthday, I start to look back and see if there is anything that I might have neglected over the past year. Because even though you want to hold on to your youthful nature, you are suppose to wiser as you get older. (Warning not always the case for everyone…chuckle)
Anyway if I could have it my way, I would have a tea party the first Sunday of every year and invite my younger selves. This year the attendees would be me @ 17, me @ 22 and me now. Kind of like what probably goes on in Tara’s (from United States of Tara) head, when Tara is asleep. We all would nibble on different tea sandwiches while we chat about men, life, love, music, art and fashion.
Me @ 22, would talk about how life is about sacrifice and try to justify the career decisions she was making. She would go on and on about love and how fulfilling it is. And Me @ 17 and Me Now would be baffled by this talk and question where the real me went. Unlike Me Now, Me @ 17 would challenge this mentality. Me @ 17 is somewhat narrow-minded but she sure would remind both Me @ 22 and Me Now what is means to be true to myself.
I would like to think Me Now would be the leader of the tea party discussion but the truth is Me Now would have so much more to learn from Me @ 17 and Me @ 22. I honestly don’t think Me Now is old enough to pass on that much knowledge to the adult Mes of the past. Try me in ten more years. (chuckle)
With that said, what would we say to each other? Me @ 17 would voice disappointment. She would encourage Me Now to live life, do things that I enjoy; paint more at all costs. Me @ 22 would urge me to love again, put the past behind me like before and move forward. And Me Now would thank Me @ 17 and Me @ 22. Tell them that a lot of little compromises could put me completely off track so stay focused. We all would agree that too much alcohol is never good, at least one guilty pleasure is a must and to love everyone for who they are and not what they do for you.
It will be interesting to see what Me @ 30 and Me @40 would have to say...I can't wait.
Much luv until next week…peace :)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The Loneliest Number
“I am not depressed!”
This was my Y-chromosome friend’s retort when I asked him if he would ever go see a movie alone.
Previously in life, I had similar foolish preconceived notions about being out and about in the world all alone. But since I still ain’t married, nor am I part of a couple I recently took myself to a matinee showing of a film I wanted to see because no one I knew was available. Folks, this was a huge step for me! Even though I’m an only child and can do things by my lonesome…movies are a different animal all together. I am that person who enjoys chatting it up when the movie starts…so I wondered what I was going to do to make it through 90 minutes in the dark with no one to share my insightful commentary with. I knew random strangers probably wouldn’t appreciate my “Oh no she didn’t!” exclamations…now that I think about it, I don’t even think my friends like it too much when I do that.
But anyway… To my surprise I had a great time. I laughed out loud and gasped when appropriate. I entertained myself with my witty commentary. All in all, it was like watching television at home. I’m just glad I didn’t miss my chance to do something that I wanted to do!
Though I have found that some men (and by some I really want to say most) have a problem with being all by their lonesome. Once, after church I went to Boston Market to get me chow on and as I was leaving I ran into my friend and his lady. Upon greeting me he started looking around behind me, he then inquired who I had come to eat with. I said no one. You could have knocked him down with a feather ya’ll. “You came here alone?! No one would have come with you?” Well then I explained that I didn’t ask anyone else to come along, but I decided to stop in because I was hungry. But he just couldn’t believe that I was there alone, or that I didn’t have the decency to get my food to-go and eat at home. Okay, of course he didn’t say the word decency…but it really bothered him I was there alone.
And just like my Y-chromosome friend who excused my solo tendencies as some crazy woman behavior. For a man to go out alone he must be disturbed or depressed. Foolishness. Now I haven’t graduated to dining and movie watching during peak date times. Nor have I made plans to vacation solo…yet. But why not? Not everyone is getting married or have friends who are available with shared interests. Like the poor, the single will always be among us. So lets stop assuming that person alone is a depressed, psychotic loser… and maybe just a person determined not to miss out on living.
This was my Y-chromosome friend’s retort when I asked him if he would ever go see a movie alone.
Previously in life, I had similar foolish preconceived notions about being out and about in the world all alone. But since I still ain’t married, nor am I part of a couple I recently took myself to a matinee showing of a film I wanted to see because no one I knew was available. Folks, this was a huge step for me! Even though I’m an only child and can do things by my lonesome…movies are a different animal all together. I am that person who enjoys chatting it up when the movie starts…so I wondered what I was going to do to make it through 90 minutes in the dark with no one to share my insightful commentary with. I knew random strangers probably wouldn’t appreciate my “Oh no she didn’t!” exclamations…now that I think about it, I don’t even think my friends like it too much when I do that.
But anyway… To my surprise I had a great time. I laughed out loud and gasped when appropriate. I entertained myself with my witty commentary. All in all, it was like watching television at home. I’m just glad I didn’t miss my chance to do something that I wanted to do!
Though I have found that some men (and by some I really want to say most) have a problem with being all by their lonesome. Once, after church I went to Boston Market to get me chow on and as I was leaving I ran into my friend and his lady. Upon greeting me he started looking around behind me, he then inquired who I had come to eat with. I said no one. You could have knocked him down with a feather ya’ll. “You came here alone?! No one would have come with you?” Well then I explained that I didn’t ask anyone else to come along, but I decided to stop in because I was hungry. But he just couldn’t believe that I was there alone, or that I didn’t have the decency to get my food to-go and eat at home. Okay, of course he didn’t say the word decency…but it really bothered him I was there alone.
And just like my Y-chromosome friend who excused my solo tendencies as some crazy woman behavior. For a man to go out alone he must be disturbed or depressed. Foolishness. Now I haven’t graduated to dining and movie watching during peak date times. Nor have I made plans to vacation solo…yet. But why not? Not everyone is getting married or have friends who are available with shared interests. Like the poor, the single will always be among us. So lets stop assuming that person alone is a depressed, psychotic loser… and maybe just a person determined not to miss out on living.
See You In Seven
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Crossing the Picket Fence
Remember when momma said you couldn’t go beyond a certain point in the neighborhood? It sucked didn’t it? Nothing ever happened between your house and that forbidden point. And it always seemed that just pass where you were allowed to go was the very spot that free ice cream fell off the truck or money was being given out to everybody…except you! But what we couldn’t see then was that momma was just trying to protect us from the neighborhood’s perils. Momma knew that old man Johnson, loved to show his…well, Johnson to little ones just for kicks. Momma always knew best. But being older and finally being able to do, see and go wherever we want is like a rite of passage into adulthood. Yet here lately I have met and heard stories about grown folks who haven’t thought or even dared to go anywhere beyond their own neighborhoods… and they are cool with that.
Amazing.
Looking at history it’s clear to me that a certain type of person was more than eager to get out and brave this world, while other races were content to play in their own continents. And in my life and living I’ve observed that it’s a certain type of race that is always ready to jump out a plane or eat a roasted grasshopper just for experience sake. This certain race of folks can sometimes out minority a minority with all the fun facts they know. If another one of my coworkers comes over using slang or quoting Lil Wayne, Imma scream! But you know history has nothing to do with nothing in the way of making excuses, well logical ones that is. Hello? Black folks. I know I’m not holding my breath for my forty acres. It’s a new day. But when I meet people who have never been out of the DC metro area I can’t help but wonder is there something in the DNA? The water? What the hell is wrong with them?
My case in point. Yesterday, the female component of my office mailroom crew (DC metro born and bred) came into my cubicle all excited about her birthday in November. This year she’ll be 49 and is treating herself to a trip… So here I am thinking chica is about to do it big and go to the Bahamas or Mexico and I excitedly awaited to know the destination of her travels! And so I just wasn’t ready when she told me she was going to Ohio. Ohio? Really? Nor was I ready when she told me this will be her first time on a plane. Say what now? Or when she asked me if she could buy her plane ticket now and use it in November. Or how she explained why she was confused when her brother told her she would have to put stuff in a Ziploc bags. Nor was I ready when she whispered “Amaretto, I don’t even have any luggage.” To which I replied, well what do you use when you have to move? “Safeway and garbage bags Amaretto. I ain’t never been anywhere before.” But of course, garbage bags.
Wow.
If it weren’t so sad I would have laughed ya’ll. Yet I was compelled to think about going and buying her some luggage. You hear about people in New York who have never ventured to any of the other boroughs even though the subway can take them there. I’ve even heard of people who live in Maryland who have never gone to Virginia. But I’m a person who feels one of her purposes in life is to travel the world, once I get my pennies together, or luck up and have some kind and loving soul finance it. It amazes me how some people have never seen or experienced the world outside of their own backyards!
I wonder…is it fear that keeps them behind fences? Do they think life has to be lived solely in the familiar neigborhoods of their youth? Do their curiosity and imaginations now lie beyond points they are allowed to cross? And is that why they don’t go there?
See You In Seven
Amazing.
Looking at history it’s clear to me that a certain type of person was more than eager to get out and brave this world, while other races were content to play in their own continents. And in my life and living I’ve observed that it’s a certain type of race that is always ready to jump out a plane or eat a roasted grasshopper just for experience sake. This certain race of folks can sometimes out minority a minority with all the fun facts they know. If another one of my coworkers comes over using slang or quoting Lil Wayne, Imma scream! But you know history has nothing to do with nothing in the way of making excuses, well logical ones that is. Hello? Black folks. I know I’m not holding my breath for my forty acres. It’s a new day. But when I meet people who have never been out of the DC metro area I can’t help but wonder is there something in the DNA? The water? What the hell is wrong with them?
My case in point. Yesterday, the female component of my office mailroom crew (DC metro born and bred) came into my cubicle all excited about her birthday in November. This year she’ll be 49 and is treating herself to a trip… So here I am thinking chica is about to do it big and go to the Bahamas or Mexico and I excitedly awaited to know the destination of her travels! And so I just wasn’t ready when she told me she was going to Ohio. Ohio? Really? Nor was I ready when she told me this will be her first time on a plane. Say what now? Or when she asked me if she could buy her plane ticket now and use it in November. Or how she explained why she was confused when her brother told her she would have to put stuff in a Ziploc bags. Nor was I ready when she whispered “Amaretto, I don’t even have any luggage.” To which I replied, well what do you use when you have to move? “Safeway and garbage bags Amaretto. I ain’t never been anywhere before.” But of course, garbage bags.
Wow.
If it weren’t so sad I would have laughed ya’ll. Yet I was compelled to think about going and buying her some luggage. You hear about people in New York who have never ventured to any of the other boroughs even though the subway can take them there. I’ve even heard of people who live in Maryland who have never gone to Virginia. But I’m a person who feels one of her purposes in life is to travel the world, once I get my pennies together, or luck up and have some kind and loving soul finance it. It amazes me how some people have never seen or experienced the world outside of their own backyards!
I wonder…is it fear that keeps them behind fences? Do they think life has to be lived solely in the familiar neigborhoods of their youth? Do their curiosity and imaginations now lie beyond points they are allowed to cross? And is that why they don’t go there?
See You In Seven
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