WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Loneliest Number

“I am not depressed!”

This was my Y-chromosome friend’s retort when I asked him if he would ever go see a movie alone.

Previously in life, I had similar foolish preconceived notions about being out and about in the world all alone. But since I still ain’t married, nor am I part of a couple I recently took myself to a matinee showing of a film I wanted to see because no one I knew was available. Folks, this was a huge step for me! Even though I’m an only child and can do things by my lonesome…movies are a different animal all together. I am that person who enjoys chatting it up when the movie starts…so I wondered what I was going to do to make it through 90 minutes in the dark with no one to share my insightful commentary with. I knew random strangers probably wouldn’t appreciate my “Oh no she didn’t!” exclamations…now that I think about it, I don’t even think my friends like it too much when I do that.

But anyway… To my surprise I had a great time. I laughed out loud and gasped when appropriate. I entertained myself with my witty commentary. All in all, it was like watching television at home. I’m just glad I didn’t miss my chance to do something that I wanted to do!

Though I have found that some men (and by some I really want to say most) have a problem with being all by their lonesome. Once, after church I went to Boston Market to get me chow on and as I was leaving I ran into my friend and his lady. Upon greeting me he started looking around behind me, he then inquired who I had come to eat with. I said no one. You could have knocked him down with a feather ya’ll. “You came here alone?! No one would have come with you?” Well then I explained that I didn’t ask anyone else to come along, but I decided to stop in because I was hungry. But he just couldn’t believe that I was there alone, or that I didn’t have the decency to get my food to-go and eat at home. Okay, of course he didn’t say the word decency…but it really bothered him I was there alone.

And just like my Y-chromosome friend who excused my solo tendencies as some crazy woman behavior. For a man to go out alone he must be disturbed or depressed. Foolishness. Now I haven’t graduated to dining and movie watching during peak date times. Nor have I made plans to vacation solo…yet. But why not? Not everyone is getting married or have friends who are available with shared interests. Like the poor, the single will always be among us. So lets stop assuming that person alone is a depressed, psychotic loser… and maybe just a person determined not to miss out on living.
See You In Seven


Rum Punch said...

This is funny because while hanging out w/ Morehouse brother he was all let me take you down this street I've never been here alone. It was a quaint little street w/ shops and restaurants. And he was all, "I just wouldn't feel right walking down here alone." Wtf? So I soo feel you on this...

kamakula said...

Your friends are messing with your head. A man that needs someone when he goes out IS depressed.

Courvoisier said...


Amaretto, I feel you sista. Recently I have been trying that same thing...doing the dang thing by myself. I am not trying to have my life pass me by. So far, I have done the movies and the dinner with my laptop.

And I am SO looking forward to the solo vacation. I think this one will be the most refreshing...you won't have to worry about running into anyone and it is the prefect opportunity to meet new people. I tend to be more friendly and social when I am travelling anyway.

The one that I am not ready to do is going to a bar or night club solo.

Anonymous said...

Folk need to get liberated...I enjoy some movies alone esp artsy indie stuff not everyone is gonna get or be interested in..folk limit themselves, alot of people go to movies dolo LOL and are not depressed.....

Bellini said...

I wholeheartedly agree with everyone. I'll never forget when I was in Chicago on business and ate dinner alone (on the MLK side of town at that) and folks were lookin' at me like I was in a fishbowl. I mean -- I gotta eat dinner? It's funny be'cuz I once told this story to a friend and she was puzzled as to why I didn't tag a colleague with me. Again, I was on the MLK side of town and some "people" have preconceived notions of what to expect-- I ain't got time for the foolishness. A sista has gots to eat!

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

"Like the poor, the single will always be among us"

*cringe* Do the single have to be compared to the poor?? Geez its hard enough out here for us!

But anyway yeah I agree how are you going to want someone else to spend time with you if you dont even want to spend time with yourself? And when you are alone at certain places, taht is the perfect time to mingle and meet new people having someone else with you may make it seem you are attached or distract you from that special someone so I say go any damn where you want by yourself just keep it at a reasonable hour cuz folks is crazy!

miss kate said...

I loves my friends, really I do, but I sometimes find it's just plain more fun to do certain stuff alone. I almost always do stuff like museums by myself, because I like to linger and contemplate while most of my friends want to do the glance 'n run.

Traveling alone is a lot of fun, too--coordinating trips and trying to get genuine cooperation on activities can be a nightmare. By myself I can do what I want when I want, spending however much (or little) money I can afford.