As the three witches stood around their cauldron during the opening scene of Macbeth they sensed some of the things that were to befall Macbeth as the next king of Scotland. Sometimes I wish that there was a way that I could know before hand the things (specifically the bad evil ones) that would befall me, without say calling a psychic friend or paying to have my palm read…
“Hello, Ms. Cleo? Tell me my future. What? Why are you asking me what my name is, don’t you know? You’re the psychic!”
I mean, wouldn’t it just be nice to know on Monday morning instead of Friday afternoon that you are going to get fired? Or maybe if you had known that Pookie and ‘em were going to rob you could have made sure you got insurance for that 51” plasma. And how many would be baby mama drama free today if they had known before, that ole girl hadn’t been taken her birth control like she swore she had? Aaaah yes. Life would be a tad easier and breezier if we could know such things. But since we don’t, we get to have interesting stories to tell, and things to complain about.
And so without further ado, I will step on my soapbox to complain about the crappy service I received last night. I feel that had I known before hand that all the wait staff had been replaced with some of the seven dwarfs Grumpy, Dopey and Lazy and a few of their cousins, Stanky and Cranky I would not have dined there. I mean, waiters still work for tips right? It would behoove them the make me happy instead of have me wondering if I had offended them or dreaming about the good ole days when folks still gave a damn.
How many of ya’ll know that Ghettofication is just as rampant as gentrification? While gentrification believes it makes places safer by robbing the poor because the rich can afford the higher taxes and better schools. Ghettofication just makes you wonder what the hell? Ghettofication makes you question if the rules of professionalism decided to just throw up the deuces and rule. Ghettofication makes you wonder if decency was somehow changed to “I don’t give a fcuk” when you decided to patron the establishment.
Not sure if you have been a victim of Ghettofication? Here are some helpful ways to recognize it while dining out on the town…
Ghettofication means You Learn to Wait
My friend and I were seated near the back of the restaurant and had to wait at least 10 minutes to get a “’sup ya’ll” as the wait staff sniggled and giggled in about sex, drugs and rock-n-roll (read: why they love Lil Wayne’s Lollipop).
Ghettofication means You have to Become a Camel
Anyone who dines with me will know that I love soda, I like my glass full and bubbly. Meaning I have to be refilled regularly throughout the meal. Not just at the end when you bring the check.
Ghettofication means no one has to say "I’m Sorry"
So yeah, my friend and I ordered basic American fare (ie Hamburgers and French Fries). Things that came to our table included entrée salads and soup. When informing the waiter extraordinaire that this was not what I ordered. I was stared at, blankly, like I was inconveniencing them.
Ghettofication means that I’m getting something for free once I have it out with your manager! It also means I ain’t leaving no tip! I will not stand for this. I will not reinforce wicked behavior…Ghettofication is present in other places! It inhabits all sorts of people, some types more acutely! Beware!
*stepping off soapbox, smoothing out skirt, pulling back hair*
See You In Seven
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I went to a restaurant on sunday and it felt like I was waisting the waiter's time by just sitting down. He asked for my order through gritted teeth. I'm like "Dude, there's NOBODY here. You should be doing everything in your power to get me to come back." Maybe it was because I was wearing a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and jeans, and didn't look like the "right" customer but my money spends just the same:)
The thing that really killed me was, he picked up my appetizer plate to clear the table, when he saw another table was ready to pay the check, so he dropped my plate back on the table to go take care of them! I was like, "Am I here?"
The food was spectacular. That's the only thing totally keeping them off my shitlist:)
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