WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.

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The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Friday, February 6, 2009

Loaded Questions

As I travel this life and navigate adulthood, I find myself encountering situations, where at one time I swore I knew what I would do if it ever happened. And then it happens. And I’m like wtf? What to do? What to do? There are some questions that have been swirling in my mind. These aren’t black and white situations. There are shades of grey, purple and red all up in there. And so I ask you dear readers, for your thoughts, ideas, or answers to any of these questions!

1. Which is worse for a girl/woman: a father divorcing a mother while the daughter is at a young age and doesn’t really grasp the weight of the situation and what her daddy means to her yet? A father divorcing a mother while the girl is a teen and she has bonded and developed a relationship with her father? Or a father divorcing a mother and leaving her for another woman when the daughter is a grown woman and has formulated what she thought was concrete idea of who her father is?

2. If you learned that your friend’s spouse was cheating on them… Would you tell? Should you tell? Is it your business to tell? What if you knew that their reaction would be one of complacency? Does that make a difference?

3. Do men really think you’re a ‘ho’ if you give it up on the first night?

4. If a couple divorces… Do you have to take sides? Does how you take sides depend on the reason for the split? If you as a couple always hosted an annual function and the couple has split, who do you invite? The one you like more, the one who was “wronged” in the situation, neither of them, both and wait for the fireworks?

5. If a man takes you out on several dates. And you’re not feeling him. At all. Do you still go out with him because he’s decent company and you’re hungry? Or do you cut your losses and live the single life?

6. What’s love got to do, got to do with it?

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

4 comments:

miss kate said...

#5 is easy: let him go. You've given it the ol' college try. Cut him loose so he can find someone who IS feeling him (and before you turn him into one of these ol' bitter dudes out here who think women are all out to use him).

Mudslide said...

1) Probably being a teen is worse. You are smart enough to know what divorce is about, but still dont fully understand love, marriage, sex, etc. So everything kinda messes up your mind and perception and expectation on life, live and happiness. But really, being apart of a divorce is tramatic no matter the age.

2) If it was really my friend, then yeah, i'd tell em. Who cares about complacency.

3) Ho? Not necessarily. Easy? Yes! Future Ho? Probably. Wifey? No!

4) Sides will always be taken during a breakup or divorce. Depends who you known longer, the reasons why, who divorced who, etc. That all plays a part.

5) Miss Kate said it all.

6) EVERYTHING!

mint julep said...

after i read this i started singin "it's the questions, it's the questions come on that's what it's all about!" lmao. gurl you so deep and philosophical. as for the answers:
#2, we already rapped a taste about that sitchy-ation (c) mrsmeany. most women already know or have some inclination so why bother but with all the life threatening germs you can catch and folks on they 3rd and 4th baby daddy, it might be worth it to share what you know. good luck with that.

#3, yes, yes and most definitely yes. they damn sure not gon say it, they may not even want to think it in their private thots but the inkling is there. it sucks, i know.

#5, keep doin you! until he asks you what are we doin here, ya'll just two friends havin a meal with no expectations. the same way men will continue to float along and get it in as much as a woman allows without definition until that woman sits him down for "the convo" we can do the same thing. he's not sitting at home feelin bad about gettin it in.

#6, everythang and nothing!

Rum Punch said...

@ miss kate - Your response to #5 is where I would lean. But if you scroll down, Mint Julep has a difference of opinion. And this is where those shades of grey, purple and red come in...

@ Mudslide - re: your #1- Yeah I totally agree, being part of a divorce at any age is never good. And I don't think people understand its lasting impact.

@ MJ - Deep and philosophical, eh? Well I try, I try. Tee hee. Good answers!