WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Stuff Movies are Made Of

Okay, so on Saturday three of my gal pals and I saw He’s Just Not That Into You. Um wow, can I just say if it weren’t for the fact that we were four black women who enjoy talking during a movie…you know adding our on commentary and whatnot…that movie would have totally sucked! Well not totally, it was long, and it was about four white women and their adventures in dating and loving-including a chick who put herself out there waaaaaaaaaaay too much for dudes. Another chick who was living her love life online. And yet another chick who’s been living with her boyfriend for 7 years because he doesn’t believe in marriage. Saaaaaaaay what? Doesn’t believe in marriage? So despite those crazy scenarios that I’m sure women of all races and creeds can find themselves in… the scene that brought it home for me was the opening scene. Picture this, a little girl playing in the sand, spies the boy she likes walking towards her, he pushes her down (a la Chris Brown style), calls her outside her name (a la any hip hop song de jour), and walks off. Little girl left in tears runs and tells her momma all that occurs and then her momma attempts to comfort by explaining this boy’s behavior. Her momma says: Do you know why he did that? It’s because he likes you. And that ladies and few gentlemen who read the 5 spot is the problem with women folks! Chicks giving other chicks advice on how men think. Um, would you ask a thousandaire how to be a billionaire? Uh no, because it’s stupid! But that’s what women do.

Come go with me back to the tenth grade. I had the biggest, nastiest, most unholy crush on a Mister S. Smith. S-dot was in 11th grade and because I am a genius we were in the same chemistry class. Man, just thinking about S-dot today takes me back to a place when I was so young and so foolish and soooooooo in high school. Anytime I would see S-dot I would smile…not that coy crap-we are talking full out Kool-aid grin! This was also when I learned of my vast stalker potential (a potential most chicks are born with). Like hanging out in the lobby of the building that he lived in…just in case I would see him. Learning his class schedule so I could adjust my walk to classes accordingly. Just making sure that he saw me, without it being obvious that I had made it so we would run into each other. Coming to his basketball games wearing a “I love S-dot” tee shirt. I mean I course I didn’t wear the T-shirt but I was at his games, watching him run up and down that court. Oh Yes! S-dot had some nice arms and calves. Dizzaum!

Okay, I’m sorry I’m back. But the moral of the story is that I started liking S-dot because he would make fun of me. That’s right…he made jokes about me and in my chick mind that meant he wanted to be my boo. He came up with this song implying that I gave blow jobs for 50 cents during my lunch break. I mean this dude totally objectified me. And I spent countless hours with my best friend trying to figure out why? Did he call me a ho because he liked me? Did he call my house and play on my phone because he wanted to take me to homecoming? Did he torment me because he thought I was all that and a bag of chips…even though some other chick was his girlfriend? Ugh! The craziness that women folk entertain in their minds!

Best friend and I concluded that he did in fact like me, I mean why else would he torment me so? But the problem with the S-dot situation and even the with little girl playing in the sandbox was that our collective women folk minds refused to accept the fact that maybe they are just jerks for asshole sake. Because it’s clear that if a man is into you he’s going to make it happen, and he’s going to do it in a way that doesn’t leave you to ponder your self worth. It’s not going to take a team of Mensa members to figure it out. If a man wants a woman, even if he’s the most shy of them all, he’s going to make it clear. I have realized with older age and being pursued by decent men; that they have no problem expressing themselves. It’s just that women folks have a problem waiting and truly listening to what they are saying. We are quick to make excuses for our fellas whilst we wait for that date or that ring. I mean even the Bible states that a man who finds a wife, finds a good thing, not the other way around. I mean chicks shouldn’t be doing this. Why? Because we have an uncanny way of a turning no good, rotten, asshole mofo man into our freaking Prince Charming.

Oh how many heart aches could have been avoided, and strategizing conversations not have been exhausted if only we women folk had realized sooner that the little boy in the sandbox or our S-dot was no good for us?

See You In Seven


IntrospectiveGoddess said...

Well darn I really wanted to see that movie, it looked funny....I still might go see it anyway, however this post was so spot on, wow S-dot was a real asshole to the highest degree, playing on the phone are you serious? Damn man get a life, yeah but it truly isnt rocket science when a man wants to be with you, he will make it clear and this line

"Because we have an uncanny way of a turning no good, rotten, asshole mofo man into our freaking Prince Charming."

Story of my first heartbreak ah, well such is life!

Courvoisier said...

I am mad at the Chris Brown reference...

Umm...is there even a such thing as a thousandaire? (chuckle)

It's funny, I never equated teasing and/or name calling with affection. I usually disliked people who did that with a passion.

But I agree, we are quick to make excuses! Sometimes I call it putting it in context...chuckle.

Sometimes I find those strategizing conversations entertaining.

However, when I look back at all the men I let into my life who I knew were no good...I always had a hint, I always knew it didn't feel right but failed to acknowledge it. As you know I have a lot of those case and points. (chuckle)

Bellini said...

Amaretto: i told you and co. not to see that movie--it would be a waste of time; my only 2 cents is that you find many women always with a man they're always wanna fix -- i wonder why they just don't pick that man that already has it together?

Amaretto said...

@IntrospectiveGoddess: Girl, I still think you should see the movie, especially with friends, the antics displayed is great conversation fodder over drinks… And in S-dot’s defense he was like 16…but an asshole nonetheless.

@Courvoisier: Yes there are thousandaires…yours truly is one! And you are right about women’s intuition I don’t know why we don’t pay attention to it. There is something wrong with us sometimes. And I agree those strategizing sessions are priceless, if they want to truly find Bin Laden…put a woman on the case!

@Bellini: Girl, the movie wasn’t a total waste of time. We laughed and cringed. Somebody saw some woman with running mascara so somebody was crying. And even if we can’t find a man who has it all together (cause that ain’t gonna happen for everyone) why can’t we just accept the man we’re with for who he is?

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