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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

he's gotta big ego...

So a few weeks ago, I was at the hair salon and I came upon Essence magazine featuring Mary J on the cover. In these tight financial times, a recently laid off editor, producer, or some similar profession lamented about his dating woes. Not the fact that he couldn’t get a date, but rather the devaluation of his ego per his diminished assets.

Basically, when the brother had a job he had no qualms spending $300 a week on dinners, top shelf liquor, opera tix, etc. And now with a dwindling account, he feels obligated to treat his lady friends to those some pre- unemployment experiences. And yet he can’t fully afford the outings. Yet he expresses discomfort when his lady friends opt to subsidize a portion of the outing. he’s gotta big ego He even went so far to share that during a date (dinner & movie I think) he couldn’t afford the movie tix and was embarrassed when his lady friend purchased the movie tix, yet at ticket counter date passed the tix to him to present to the ticket counter and his ego was inflated again. This is thoroughly disturbing to me. I read the article, thinking is it that serious.

What happened to jaunts in Central Park? Showcases at the art gallery? Spoken word viewings? I mean everything doesn’t carry a price tag. And why is your manhood tied to money. I found his story to be a bit disturbing. Men is it that serious. Clearly Bellini is an outsider looking in? personally I like a man who’s more on the frugal side—I am telling my bizness? enough! Am I missing some underlying point? enlighten me fellas

I wonder if he was a husband and underwent the same dynamics with his wife would he still feel the same way considering that’s his partner and all. And should he feel the same way with his wife?

I just found out a lil’ unsettling that the guy appeared to tie too much value to the frequency he’s able to dispense his funds. After all it’s a recession, horde your funds!




Localicious said...

first let me say i LOVE bein on the west coast now b/c i get to see all y'all's posts when i get home from work :-)

now to the subject at hand. i read the same article and was like WTF?! what's wrong with this dude? it's nice that he wants to treat his ladies nice (heck i like bein treated nicely), but for real droppin $300 on a date doesn't make it more romantic. i'm with ya girl, i need my man to be able to be more frugal so he can handle economic changes w/o losin who he is as a man. imho workin on a smaller budget forces more creativity and thought as far as i'm concerned. it's easy to impress me with glitter & gold, but let's see you touch my heart with thoughtfulness and creativity :-)

Funky Fresh said...

What the fudge?!?!?! Is he a young cat? I ask because when I was younger I equated money to manhood. Like money = buy her nice things = impress her = get the pum pum. I was later schooled and got more creative and saved my loot. Every body likes nice things but he's gotta learn how to create some balance so he can have a positive balance in his checking account.

Bellini said...

@localicious: thanks for the love! are you in cali? i was just in cali over the weekend? i totally feel you - i'm always playin' devil's advocate- i figured i ain't a man so i can't be too quick to judge his situation, but i can speak on the type of man i'm attracted too and that's not it, i like a man who can keep a stack!

@funky fresh: i don't know - i feel like he just hit the '30s, but i could be wrong (i'll defer to localicious-maybe she still has the magazine in her possession) ...i've always loved your linear logic-it works for me be'cuz i get the simplicity of things. all i can say is preach!!!

Localicious said...

@ bellini, as a matter of fact i do have the magazine (knew this subscription would come in handy one day!!) the author is 32. And upon a second reading, he's still talkin that nonsense! but yeah girl, out here in the LA area tryin to finish this internship so i can be done w/ dr. school. 10.5 months left and i'll OFFICIALLY be done :-D

Bellini said...

@localicious: oh, thanks! ok, i was in northern cali (san fran)stay on that grind girl - you'll be at the finish line soon enough.