WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Friday, August 6, 2010

29 and Thankful

I have been watching MTV’s Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant pretty regularly. I should be ashamed of this, but I am not. Lol. For those of you who have no clue what I’m talking about – these shows are chronicling teens’ experiences with being pregnant and/or raising babies.

Anyway. Every time I watch I find myself yelling at the TV. And here’s why. Cause it’s just too much for my senses and has me wondering where the heck the parents are.

Let me tell y’all something about Mama Rum Punch. She crazy! At least that’s what my 16 year old self thought. And for real, for real, that’s what my 29 (whew first time writin it out!) thinks too! My mama had these vague “rules” that at the time seemed sooo unfair to me – but when I look back over my life – Mama knew what was up.

Rule #1 - The Power of the “Random” No – Let’s say someone was gonna have a party on Friday night. And something else fun and exciting was going on Saturday night. Score, I would think to myself. It’s gonna be a great weekend. Run the plans by mama. She would say point blank, “you can go to one of those events, but not both.” What the fuss?!?! I would storm off in a huff. She ain’t care. I would come back to the dining room table, there she would be working on her crossword puzzle or drinking her coffee all cool and calm. “So for real though, I can’t do both?” “No, Rummy.” Well damn. This taught me a few lessons. 1. You don’t get everything you want out of life. But more importantly 2. that you don’t have to do it all. Sometimes you need quiet time. Rest time. You time. Family time. Read a book and enjoy your own company time. One thing that just sticks in my craw is that my 17 year old cousin stays havin’ the following status updates on The Book – “in da house. Chillin. Bored. Need sumthin to do.” ARGGGG!!!! I soo want to be like, READ A BOOK! So yeah. Big ups mama.

Rule #2: - Boyfriend? What you talkin’ bout Willis? – Sometimes on the shows the girls will say they have been dating their baby daddy for 3 years. I do the math. So you mean to tell me y’all been dating since you were 13?! And your parents approved of such?! And these girls be serious too. All in “love”. Get mad cause he “cheated” two years ago. How can you cheat on someone at 14?!?! I wish I could have told my mom this was my boyfriend and we were going to the movies! Or we're gonna sit up in my room with the door closed. Heeeee! My mama woulda beat the yellow off me.
My mom had a rule that I couldn’t date anyone two years older than me. Same grade or a year older. (Which funny I tuned into the Bmore morning show this morning and the therapist they had on there talking about teen dating said the same) I was pissed! But now I understand.

Now did I always follow my mom’s rules? Looks at camera and says, “No! Of course not!” But I think what they helped keep me grounded, look at things from a practical manner and not get in too deep. Looking back she seemed to be trying to just get me to enjoy being a teen. All that grown up lovey dovey stuff, ‘nig you ain’t ish’ would come soon enough. I distinctly remember being in 9th grade and “dating” this guy in 11th (yeah I know, I know) – and some chick thought she was dating him too. This girl’s friend accosted me in the hallway. My friends were then tryna fight said girl at the end of the school day. I was like, “uhhhh… I’m fina go home. But y’all can fight her if you wanna.” Even then I knew nigs weren’t worth fighting for. Lmao!

Grown up me now understands that my mom was aware of dangers and pitfalls that my 16 year old self couldn’t even conceive. Knew the hidden curves, dark alleys, dead end streets up ahead, while all I saw was easy street. Was just tryna ground me, so I could eventually fly.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!


GG said...

I really appreciate this post! I can relate from the perspective of the daughter and the mother. I remember so clearly my angst at my mother's rules while now that I'm 32, it all makes sense and helped me become a balanced person. Although I wilded it out quite a bit once I was out from under the rules of my household (college) - the way you were raised really does stay with you and you hear that guidance in the back of your head as ur living life, making mistakes and coming to conclusions.

Rum Punch said...

@ GG - Thank you girl! Yes, I think that year of 'wildin' out for me was Senior year in high school. I thought I was big and bad. Good and grown. But there was still a line that I would not cross. Things I would not do. I wasn't that crazy. Lol.