WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Friday, September 3, 2010

Blind Date

Where (and by default how) should a woman meet a man? This is not the start of a riddle. This is a genuine question. There has always been the clucking of tongues when people meet at bars. And I recently heard on NPR that the “stigma” of meeting someone online is “fading away”. Or something.

But as one gets older – what is the proper way to meet a potential mate? I ask because a former co-worker told me that she met this dude at Largo. I’m guessing the mall. But I don’t really know the inner workings of gorgeous Prince George’s (County) like that. So I’m like huh? And then she tells me how their “relationship” was on crack and speed combined and he was talkin some you're my girlfriend in like two days. And then things subsequently crashed and burned. And I’m sitting there like huh? But he could be… A whole lotta things is what Amaretto and I agreed upon. And at the top of that list, he turned out to be crazy.

But this is normal behavior for her. She would always be coming with some story of I met him while we were both driving on the highway and he shouted his number. Or I was standing on the street corner and he drove past saying he liked my style. Or I was in the [insert your favorite fine dining chain restaurant here] parking lot and he pulled up and we ended up talking for hours. Uh. Wheredeydodatat?

Color me confused, but these sound like scenarios from my high school/college days. And even then I was not fina call no nig from the highway. And we won’t even get into my other recently separated, new to the dating world co-worker who is part of some online community mess called Tagged. It’s like Black Planet, MySpace, and Match.com all in a pitiful, hotghettoomess (no BET) place. But when not trolling the nets, she is now smitten with the dude who delivers the meat to the grocery store near our workplace . Ummm… Ok. If you like it, I love it. I guess…

Amaretto and I have been joking about a post on someone being kid tested and mother approved. You know? That there is someone in your life who will say this is a cool person worthy of your time. And also stamp you as cool and worthy. The last few guys I have been out with have had a connection to someone or some parts of my life. Either it was a blind date. Or we went to high school together (but didn’t kick it like that at the time). Or it was a friend of a friend.

Regardless of the situation, I could verify with someone I know and trust who the hell this person is. At least the seemingly important parts. Like, no he doesn't have a wife and two kids back home that he's just no telling you about. Or yes he does work, like actually WORK there. And yes I did see him walk 'cross that stage and get his dimploma. And on. I mean there’s a reason the old folk talk about a time when you looked someone in the face and asked the important question, “who your folk?” Or “who your mama n’em?” Cause they had to know if they were looking crazy/alcoholics/pure dysfunctionism in the face. And if they were gon' let alladat in they family.

So Minty has hipped to this thing that real life matchmaker (and cutie pie) Hitch does on Twitter. Every Wednesday he picks one of his male clients to feature. He might give a few stats. The man’s age, occupation, city. And then women can “ask” real life Hitch questions and he will provide the bachelor’s answers. Now. We know Twitter is limited to 140 characters, right? Riiight. So how deep can these questions be? And should I mention that he doesn’t reveal the bachelor’s photo til the end? And then from all the women who asked questions, real life Hitch picks one – and the two go on a date. Ok.

I’ve checked it the past three weeks. And these women are thirsty as hell. And I’ma go ahead and qualify that with Black. Cause I know these are Black women. Who are thirsty as hell. And I’m like damn! It’s like that? You trust some dude in this game all in the name of profit love to set you up with a stranger?!? And you don’t even know what dude looks like? You just think he's a good catch cause... Cause why?

Cause the game done changed. Cause up is down. And gay is straight. And people get fake offended when you ask the hard questions. And then want to act like you should trust them after a month. And you know you shouldn't. But clocks tick. And people women get desperate. And let their guards down. Or think that maybe meeting him in this dark ass club is not such a bad thing. Especially if he takes you out in the daytime. And you can be the anomaly. That couple that met in a bar and got married! Yayyy! And, and, and...people grope in the dark for some kind of truth. Some kind of connection. Some kind of love.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!


Anonymous said...

SMH, these are the times in which we live. Loved the last paragraph! So very true.

Rum Punch said...

@ Anon - Thank you! Yes, I'm smh right along with you. Channels my inner Annie (Jay Z) and starts singing, "it's a hard knock life for us..."

MrsMeany said...

damn! it sounds ROUGH out there for a single (black)chick! but you are right! UP is DOWN...LEFT is RIGHT...the dating world done turn't topsy turvy!

i have NO idea why/when/how it did, but it did...long gone seem to be the days of "grassroots" dating (meaning that you met face-to-face and actually WENT somewhere and SPOKE to each other!)

nowadays, everything is cyber this, virtual that...match.com, blackplanet.com, texting, IM'ing, twittering, yadda yadda yadda...i can't take it, and i'm not even in the dating pool! it's just frustrating to hear about all of the shenanigans from my single friends...

dating needs to get back to the basics, people! just go out on a regular date and TALK--get to know each other...since when do people NOT have time to socialize??? what am i missing, or am i NOT with the times??? hahaha

can someone PLEASE fill me in??

Rum Punch said...

@ Mrs Meany - Yep! Singing a new song, "it's a crazy mixed up world. It's a..." I can't really explain it cause I'm all up in the thick of it - but I think w/ the ease of technology, people then take the easy way out with all aspects of life. That includes dating. Let's not talk face to face. Let's just text. Then you can hide. Idk. I've given up trying to understand. I'll just wait for someone who comes along with some substance and real conversation. Lol.

MrsMeany said...

this sounds completely and utterly WACK! the texting instead of calling...breaking up by instant message...saying i love you for the first time by email...

it's just TERRIBLE! stop hiding behind electronics and MAN or WOMAN up! handle your rejection (or affection) like a man or woman...FACE-TO-FACE!

this is bullshit!!!!!