WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.

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The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Thursday, October 25, 2007

pretty fly for a white guy

So I've been known to peruse the wedding announcements cause I just love to see people in love...especially Black love, it's the fishes in me I guess. and the new york times has some of the best wedding announcements I've seen. Their pages are so well written and always come from such a unique perspective, giving you amazing insight into how the couple met, the way their love grew and their decision to join together forever.... *sigh*

enter deneta and her white boy, this week's featured couple.

Aren't they cute jumpin' that broom!?!

"...both native Virginians and shared a passion for social justice, becoming friends while painting a mural at a homeless shelter in Boston. 'I was hoping we could be more than friends,' said Mr. Sells..."

deneta and bryan got me to thinking....
what kind of white guy would I even think about entertaining the possibility of maybe going out on a date with and/or in the remote, highly unlikely unlikelihood that I just so happened to fall in love with a white boy, would I marry him?
y'all know I had to make that as tenuous and hypothetical as possible. Can't have the revolutionary black gangsta posse swooping down to renege my black card and steal my flag. i'm just saying, what would my fly (yes he'd have to be to be with me) white boy look like?

1. he'd have to be a mr. whitey mcwhiterson. straight from the mid-west/west coast/europe or something. he could not be a wigger! I can't stand the whiteys that try to be down, na'mean, son. droppin' slang in the most ackward way and professing a love so deep for Black culture that he tries to out-Black me. he can't be on some, I hate white people shit.....wigger, please! I don't even tolerate Black people that hate Black people so why would I tolerate you hatin' on your own kind? Cause really people, self-hate is self-hate and I'm not tryin to slay that beast on top of all the sideways glances that are gonna be coming our way. If I'ma be with a white boy, he might as well be all the way white.

2. he's gonna have to know and accept that he's white, understand his white privilege and the way that will impact our interactions with each other and the world. don't ignore racism or brush me off when I come home talkin' bout how I hate the man, how smug white boys make me sick, and how white girls flippin' they hair all in my face on the train irks me to no end. I want you to be cognizant of all these things and intelligent enough for us to have serious conversations about it (at the end of which, you always concede that I am right in my assertions that white people think they own this world).

3. don't fetishsize me. let's NOT talk ad nauseum about how you luuuuvaahhh my dark skin and kinky hair. how you've always dated "exotic" women. how peoples' stares at our ebony and ivory pairing gets you all hot and bothered. and you damn sho betta not be tryin' to re-enact any slave-time scenarios in which I play the lusty housemaid to your massa.

and of course, let's not forget the less intellectualized, slightly mo' ig'nant requirements for this unicorn of a white boy...

4. he'd have to NOT smell like a dog...ever!

5. he'd have to have minimal body hair....that bushy back hair creepin' out your collar is not a good look.

6. he'd have to lay down a superb, dopalicious D game (i'm just sayin').

7. he'd have to have some money, and by money I mean a lot...like a trust fund or something.

8. he'd love me a whole lot more than I'd love him because he'd have to be willing to put up with my occasional rants against the white world without taking it personally.

9. I'd want him to look something like Brody from the Hills


with the quirky sense of humor of Seth from the OC


(love those rich cali white boys!)

If you can find me a white boy with all of these qualities, I might have to meet him...you know just in case.

20 comments:

Amaretto said...

You are HILARIOUS! Brody and Seth are both good looks...if I were to consider them in a highly unlikely, last man on earth, I'm going blind and insane type of way!

Bellini said...

I watched the Hills episode last night, and I kept tellin' my self Brody can get it!

Anonymous said...

i love these attributes! my wife is white, and if you flip the gender, our checklist is a match...
thing is-if you love them, you do... knowwhatimsaying? ( smile)

ListenToLeon said...

The "Malibu's Most Wanted" looking picture is hilarious!

Seriously, I can't date a white woman that acts like she's doing a bad impression of Taraj Henson's character in Baby Boy. I'd rather deal with a trust-fund having, true to herself, father-would-disown-her-if-he-knew-about-my-black-ass type of white woman.

I only say this because I have dated both a white woman and an asian woman who talked like they grew up in the worst part of Southeast...then conveniently switch back to standard english when it's convenient! LOL

DCMovieGirl said...

ARRRGH!!

This is the kind of shit that keeps such a high percentage of black women single.

I know it's all for shits and giggles, but imagine for a second if this were written by a white man.

All these strigent requirements for one specfic ethicity of HUMAN he'd date.

Sounds bigoted, right?

The real righteous, down, brothers and sisters and too busy doing what they need to do to CARE whether or not others think they are down.

My point is simply this. Whatever requirements you have for a man (or woman) you date should be the same across the board.

Forget skin-color.

Anonymous said...

whoa dcmoviegirl quit hating, i bet you are single right now!

mint julep said...

it's official ladies...we are in business! now on to my reply...

no...the kinda shit that keeps a high percentage of black women single is not even considering the possibility of dating outside the race...so loyal are we to the black man. i've had sistas look at my like i had two heads when i spoke about possibly dating a white dude...one even commented that she would never do it b/c marriage is a political statement

gurl stop! so you'd rather be alone than in a loving relationship with someone who so happens not to be black?

and i'ma have to disagree with this here: "The real righteous, down, brothers and sisters and too busy doing what they need to do to CARE whether or not others think they are down." uhhhh i dont know what "righteous, down" black folks you know but the ones round these parts wouldn't be caught dead with a white man or woman on their harm.

clearly this post represents my view from where I sit. and if i wanna flip flop my requirements depending on the day, the skin color, or the time since my last relationship, i will do so cause it's me and him that gotta be looking at each other for the rest of our lives!

this is something that i've thought about, and i dare say, more black women should think about unless you just happen to like sleeping alone every night...

DCMovieGirl said...

Hey "anonymous"...Very thoughtful response. :)

...And sorry, no not single.

DCMovieGirl said...

Mint Julep,

So, who a man/women dates trumps his/her deeds?

Wow. That makes ABSOLUTELY ZERO sense.

And oh, boy did you miss the point. Black, white, red, yellow and/or any variation thereof, NO woman should limit themselves based on that.

...BUT to make dating requirements race-based instead of MAN-based is bigoted.

And just as I said to anonymous's eloquent response.

Nope, not single, sorry to smash your hopes.

media concepts said...

I found this post confusing. It obeys the "be outrageous or provocative" commandment for getting one's post noticed. And there was a swipe at the "revolutionary black gangsta posse." So perhaps it was intended merely to be funny and snarky. But I also found in this post a strong undercurrent of anger and, yes, racism. If a similar sentiment was written by a white man regarding black women, I think it would have sparked outrage. Didn't that happen with Don Imus?

Jumping said...

Never read this blog before... but...this post had me rolling. Loved it, coming back for more.

mint julep said...

not to beat a dead horse but check out this article re: a white police officer fired for making a "hood handbook" for his collegues...one of his "excuses" -- i'm married to a black woman. tell me again how interracial relationships don't have the additional dynamic of ...uhhh...race!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21504685/

LadyA said...

Dayum, I had juuuust commented when I read a post where one of the lovely ladies was complaining about lack of options, and I suggested, "the other white meat."
But one reality that makes me apprehensive is that I've never felt that white (or other colors) see black women as an object of desire (unless they're the "wigger" type that was mentioned). But the trust fund having, preppy, mid-west boys don't talk about black women as their trophy ladies...(save Beyonce, and Halle). I mean really, when was the last time I white man went out of his way to flirt with you? I've heard that white men secretly desire us, but it's on some sexual experimentation shit, not potential wifey stuff.

~g said...

I enjoyed reading this post and the comments. I have to agree with Mint Julep. Life is too short to be waiting for that tall, dark & handsome brother to come along. I have been in relationships with both races & was proposed to recently by a white man. I accepted his proposal and am headed to the chapel 3.7.09 !!

Relationships have obstacles regardless of race. The best we can do is not limit ourselves as black women. I took a chance with this relationship & it was the best decision I ever made. This man made a commitment to me, loves me unconditionally, accepts me as I am & gives me the desires of my heart. I am living the life of my dreams because I let myself love freely.

Ultimately, you should want a God-fearing man who will love you like Christ loves the church--even if he happens to be white or any other race besides your own.

p.s. -- don't fall for those bedroom myths about white men either !!

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black singles said...

It's really amazing seeing that happy couple successfully sharing their love until marriage. How I wish I will meet the man of my dreams now and be with him forever!

Anonymous said...

I met this guy and he is pretty fly for a white guy.