WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Truth and Consequences

My friend, we’ll just call him Rolando, is married with a 2-year old daughter. I, of course am single, ready to mingle and have no kids. So needless to say, we both view this spinning orb a little differently. Last week Rolando was telling me about his west coast homegirl Renita, who is also married and a mother of a 7-year old daughter. And so Rolando went on to explain that while Renita and daughter were out and about, doing the things that Californians do in the sunshine they witnessed two men antiquing and then sharing a kiss!

Dum. Dum. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuum! Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

So the dilemma (
cue Nelly and Kelly Roland) was that Renita didn’t know how she should explain this sit-chew-ation to daughter…even though daughter had gone on with her gay and merry way. So Renita had asked Rolando his opinion…well actually she had asked him what he thought about gay people; and then after he responded she would tell him why she was asking. But as Rolando shared all of this with me I felt nothing needed to be explained to daughter since she didn’t ask any questions about what she just saw. I’m of the thinking that if my children have a question about anything in this here world I’ll give them the talk real and straight. But in this scenario, given daughter’s age I felt that it was cool to keep the don’t ask don’t tell policy in play.

I just didn’t see the need to stop on the sidewalk, ice cream dripping off cones and whatnot and attempt to explain to daughter that its true that men like women and vice versa. But sometimes: men like men. Women like women. Some like both men and women. Some men like to dress like women, but still like women. While some men who dress like women actually like men. Some men have surgery to become women to change how God made them. And sometimes people are just experimenting and having a time thats good until they realize what gender lines should not be crossed.

Hello? Could you imagine a 7-year old’s face? Especially since she didn’t ask in the first place?

Then Rolando gave a real life parenting example about not waiting for a child to ask questions, which I can’t really recall now because, truth be told, I wasn’t listening to him, just waiting for my turn to talk.
Then I asked him what he would do if his little one walked in on him and his wife doing that thing, that thing, that thiiiing?
Would he grab a robe and attempt to explain the birds, the bees, the river and the trees? Especially if little one just continues to ask for a glass of water?
He said he would. I called him a liar!
His little one is 2 and Renita’s little one is 7 and some things don’t need to be explained when they are that young. I say, let them know that babies still come from storks, that they were only dreaming when they saw two men kiss, and that Santa is having coffee with the Tooth Fairy as we speak. Let the little ones be blissfully ignorant for a little bit longer. Being out the loop and lied too is a part of childhood. They’ll learn the truth someday. Be it from a heart to heart, from their friend’s older brother wearing a boa, or from Google.

See You in Seven


hannahjoja said...

About a week ago I would have agreed with you. But after the call I got from my sister, I most politely disagree. My sister and her husband a currently separated. They have two children, a three year old daughter and one year old son. The kids live with my sister but visit their father three weekends a month. One morning my sister is busy cleaning and realizes that the house is way too quiet plus the one year old is looking for his sister (they're inseparable). She walks into their play room and finds the three year old similating sex with her lifesize Dora. The three years olds panties were around her ankles and one of Dora's legs was in the air. After calming her down, my sister asked where she say that. Her response, [insert daddy's name]. My niece is exceptionally smart (is entering first grade this year) but even still that's a situation that needed explaining.

Amaretto said...

Hello and Welcome Hannahjoja! You present an interesting point. I guess it depends on the parent and the situation. I, of course ain't got no kids, so really how do I know what I would and wouldn't do? Even now I'm trying to put myself in your sister's shoes and um yeah...I'm just have to step out of them real quick and go put on my comfortable single gal slippers!