WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Friday, September 19, 2008

No Textassness!

Amaretto touched on this a little while ago – the downside of text messaging. Now before I get on my soap box and file my complaint with the masses, I have to confess that I love to text message! I will have a whole conversation via text. I will send a text about the most random thing in the world to some of my bestest friends. But that’s just it, they’re my friends. So what’s my problem? My issue? My beef with text messaging as it were? My problem is the textassness that happens when you have man + woman + budding relationship/friendship/fuck option/potential whatever...

Let me give you an example. Girl’s male co-worker says, “I think you’d be a ‘good’ match for my friend. Can I pass your number along?” Girl who’s always down to make new friends says sure. Girl hears nothing from boy for a lonng time. Finally one night, girl’s phone goes off. She opens the phone and finds a new message by an unknown number. This is odd, girl thinks. She reads the message and finds this: Hi girl. This is boy, co-worker’s friend. How are you? WTF, girl almost screams aloud, but then realizes that she’s right next to her mother. Girl figures she has three options 1. Respond 2. Cuss boy out 3. Ignore. Well like a fool I responded. What can I say he caught me on a good day. But then this man tried to have a conversation via text. Again, WTF? Oh but it gets better. This fool asked me out twice via text. I had never had nary a conversation with him, but for some reason he thought it was cool that I just meet him out in the world. Yeah, I stopped responding to his texts.

Admittedly most of this was my fault. I could and should have told him from jump that I deserved a conversation. Shouts out to Mint Julep. But I couldn’t help but wonder what made him think this was OK? What made him think this was acceptable behavior? Had he tried this technique on other women girls and found that it worked? Was he scared to have a real conversation with me? The pretend psychologist in me thinks this is some passive aggressive bullshit behavior. The single girl in me thinks that men are just being lazy and courtship is a lost art. And the realist in me thinks that these men must believe I'm not worth the time and effort.

And as I curse aloud every time my phone chimes, the textassness continues to spiral out of control. I am finding the following pattern: I give my number to a guy, we have one or two convos, and then he wants to take it to text messaging. I understand the cute, how are you today texts. But what I don’t like is the how are you, what are you doing, I’m doing this right now, lol, what are you doing now, what do you want to do with your life, don’t you want to come out, let's have a serious discussion about x, lol, never ending texts! Seriously pick up the phone and tell me what the fuck you want. And if it involves me meeting you somewhere, just say it, don’t go all around the mulberry bush.

But the other day a male friend of mine told me I need to get with the times. According to him text messaging is not impersonal. And unlike me who thinks that you should have a decent foundation before you take it to the text messages, he thinks it allows you to multitask and he saw nothing wrong with ol’ boy asking me out via text message. Well transport me back to 1942 then. Or to the days of the one house phone and the busy signal. I mean I know the world is moving fast, and we’re all busy and pursuing our hopes and dreams and whatnot…But isn’t getting to know someone all about making that connection? Remember getting giddy when that person called, hearing their sexy ass voice on the phone, talking for hours on end, falling asleep on the phone together, playing the you hang up first game? I know there are perks to getting older. But there are some things that shouldn’t have to change.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!


Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

u know how i get down folk
have a great wekend jones

mjr-banx said...

I am feeling you with that one Rum Punch. I thought it was just me. Two out of the last three prospectives have preferred text convo. I use to think it was a way of saying they couldn't find time to pick up the phone or I didn't deserve 100% of their concentration. Maybe because that is where my head is at when I text...lol

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

I'm mad at your boy trying to rationalize that obvious bitchass move....Thats like sending an email for a date. I'm sorry but that was just laziness on his part if he had your number he could have called I mean what if your phone didnt have a text message plan on it? Then what? I think if he couldnt initiate a conversation over the phone then something is wrong with him, hes more than likely selfish, with no home training and has buried chilvary in his backyard....NEEEXT!!!