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-The Five Spot

Monday, September 22, 2008

What do you say, Courvoisier? (Part 1)

Sometimes you have to kick Monday off with a little fun...Brenda needs our help.

Dear Courvoisier,
For the past six months, I have been trying not to become emotionally involved with my buddy. However, our lovemaking has become increasingly more intense. Instead of calling on Jesus, like I use to…I now scream his name. Even though I have shown an additional interest in our lovemaking my buddy on the other hand, insist on leaving immediately after, even when I offer to cook breakfast in the morning. Everybody knows men will leave their wives for some homemade breakfast! The question is “Why is he doing this?”
Yours truly,

Dear Bren-Duh!

I don’t know if you are familiar with the rules of having a f@*! buddy but here are a few of the rules you might want to follow. Let me break down for you…ladies take heed…shhh!
  1. Never ever f@*! a buddy that is husband potential. If he has a job making more than $25,000 annually, then do not consider this man a buddy. But if he lives in his mother’s basement and calls it his apartment because it has a separate entrance…this is buddy material.
  2. Never ever choose a buddy you think is hotter than you. If your heart flutters every time you talk to this person…he is NOT buddy material.
  3. Never ever offer a buddy the option to wash up, let alone spend the night. Remember to collect wet naps from various fast food restaurants for this event so that they can clean up on the way out.
Now in case you have broken some of the rules, here are some indicators that you are CAUGHT-UP:
  1. When you call the act lovemaking,
  2. When you offer to cook that reggin breakfast, and
  3. When you give him the praise and not the lord!
Lastly, if you find your nose wide open…there is only ONE thing you can do and that is to NEVER EVER speak to him again! No texts, no calls, no emails and don’t even engage in self-gratification with him on the mind. It is important to remember that this type of buddy is for sex only.
Till we talk again,
Mz. Courvoisier if ya nasty.


Anonymous said...

thats not making love either dear thats phucking, too bad some folk don't know the difference.

Courvoisier said...

Agreed...lovemaking is more than just sex.

Hmm...maybe we will discuss about intimacy next week.

JB said...

Also, please remember cutbuddies are to be temporary. All that good f*cking can change your mind real quick on a buddy. I suggest you invest in a good toy instead.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

no comment except she sounds dick trained

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

I think the question was dumb ass hell "Why is he doing this?" Naw why are you acting brand new??? Some women cant handle the fuck buddy situation....just cuz the dick good dont mean anything else is....get a hold of yourself!

Anonymous said...

thats not a situation I want to handle...not saying I've neva had dyck in a jar no feelings at'tall, but the phcuk buddy thing kinda sucks for more reasons than one. Esp when you have exp the height of passion with love behind it, its like you cna;t go back to a cut buddy, thats a good thing tho cause the buddy shat is empty.

Courvoisier said...

Say it again introspectivegoddess!

I am a big fan of setting, agreeing and accepting expectations at the beginning. If you have the slightest indication you can't handle it...maybe you need not play on the big kids play ground.

Anonymous said...

thats bs..one day ya'll gonna find out somethings cannot be controlled or contained by false perimeters esp when you are doing something as serious as becoming one flesh with someone/ I know ya'll jive young but that shat sound good LOL..either you just don;t give phcuk at all, which to me is pointless, you're lying to yourself about your expecatations feelings etc.... somebody always ends up wanting more and or hurt