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-The Five Spot

Thursday, October 23, 2008

all things being (un)equal


The other night Rum Punch and I were sippin on some $2 cocktails and discussing love and relationships as we are often known to do. This fine night we landed on the subject of who should love who more in a relationship – the man or the woman? Our informal poll yielded the following results:


the MAN - 2

the WOMAN - nada


Now the EEOC love police would immediately cry foul. The love between a man and a woman should be equal. Not talkin' bout 60-40, not no 70-30 but 50-50 love. But reality bites!

Just like salaries, shoe sizes and body parts, men and women are not created equal. Mix in personality differences and varying life experiences and you will find that when two people get together in a relationship, one person is bound to be feeling the other person, be caught up in the rapture at least a teeny tiny bit more than the other person. Such is life.


And if I have a say in the matter, I want my husband to love me more. Tis the only way.

The man just has to the love the woman more. He has to adore her. In his heart and in his soul, he's got be thinking, Until the end of time I’ll be there for you, you own my heart and mind, I truly adore you. (c) Prince. If it’s about her, he has to be about it. Here's why:


Because men, by their nature, are prone to have a wandering eye. There might be some exceptionally diligent and thoughtful men out there but on the whole by their nature men like to look. They are physical visual creatures. If an attractive woman crosses their path they will look or at least think about looking. That’s why male rape is laughable. That’s why when they cheat they say it didn't mean anything. So to counteract this natural tendency toward cheating and unfaithfulness there has to be some countervailing force, some thing so strong that makes a man want to be faithful above all else. If he adores his girl/wife and he loves her with all his heart, he’ll be less likely to cheat. He’ll consider her feelings more often and more strongly before he lets his mind go too far down that path.


Contrastingly if the woman loves the man more then SHE will be more prone to that countervailing force, that faithfulness will act upon her in a cooresponding and oftentimes devastating way. Women by their nature love hard, love strong and love in the face of adversity, common sense and sometimes all reason. We love even when love didn’t bring his ass home last night. We love creeping down behind the bar watching from across the room when he said he was working late. We love over indiscretions and slights. And so if we love that man more (and he knows it), it’s a wrap! Because that greater love will translate to unfailing faithfulness.


So like I said if I had a choice he'd love me more.


what say you?

8 comments:

Christina said...

I understand your logic about men & their wandering ways. And I actually agree with most of what you said. HOWEVER I have to disagree with you about the laughability of male rape. Just like male victims of domestic violence, male rape is a tragic reality. It's hard to imagine a grown man being raped, but many victims are young men/boys. Physical arousal does not equal consent. In many cases men feel more shame than women when they are the victims of domestic violence or rape. So yeah...that's all. Good post!

mint julep said...

@christina - thanks for your comment. you are right, male rape is alive and real.

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

I definetly agree with this sentiment, it just makes more sense that the man love the woman just a bit more, cuz a woman usually has more to lose if she loves more, especially in marriage, a guy can bounce back from a failed relationship much more than a woman can...

Anonymous said...

My auntie and her friends (all in the late 60's age range) make sure to tell all us young folk (the young girls and women kin) this truth - They've lived twice as long as me, so I figure they know what they are talkin' about...

You are def on point with this!

mjr-banx said...

I would like to hear from the males out there?

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

the wandering eye is not gender specifc im sure u know if so show me the science lol

have a great weekend and chk this from Tobe to Joe Sixpack

Anonymous said...

I am a man. I do not agree with your logic at all. There is no reason that the male OR female should HAVE TO love the other more. If that is the logic, then there is a great deal of insecurity maybe as a result of a bad relationship or too much Young and the Restless.

jamie said...

You women are crazy if you think the man should love you more. It should be equal. Just like women want to be treated equal, so do men.