WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Is You Is, Or Is You Ain't My Baby?

Nestled in between Gossip Girl and any paternity episode of Maury lies my guilty pleasure show-CHEATERS. I love this show! And admitting it makes me feel like I kind of suck as a person… but I can’t deny that there is something fascinating when watching a person who suspects their significant other is stepping out on them, and them enlisting the help of Cheaters’ detectives to procure evidence. And for rating’s sake the host shows the jilted lover video of their love one in the arms of another over and over and over, with added commentary like “This was the day they told you they couldn’t meet because they were taking granny to the doctor!” This of course leads to bestest part of the show…the confrontation! The cheater never sees it coming, but when the cameras show up with the person that they were suppose to remain faithful to the censors go to work…You ain’t *beep* you limp *beep* *beep* *beeeeeeeeeep*! It, in a word is, awesome.

But more often than not Cheaters is a show for women. Most female folk today are carrying around the notion that even a good man can have some no good in him, which is a fallacy until it’s true. But there are times when there are men on Cheaters suspecting that their lady is messing around, which makes the show a bit more interesting. And I say this because while I am aware that women are also human, and can therefore cheat, society has taught me that its not as common and that boys will be boys. And so seeing a man cry because his heart is broken still has a train wreck affect on me...I must look, I must watch!

So in sharing my love for the show Cheaters with my Y-chromosome friend, he gave me some perspective on cheating between the sexes-his view from there, if you will. He had recently participated in a pow-wow session with some of his boys, probably after a football game, and these men got to talking about how when a woman cheats it’s often worse than when a man cheats. No one denied that cheating was generally horrible in a committed relationship, but while men often cheat because they see something loverly before them…women cheat because they are emotionally tied to their new lover, so while the man’s moment was fleeting a woman remains emotionally connected.

Hmmmmm. Interesting eh?

I thought so, because I could see his point. Of course there are exceptions to every rule-I know there are some bold and brazen, Samantha Jones type women out there who can view sex as just a biological fluid exchange. But for the most part women emote and are looking for a connection before they grant a man entry. And because of this fact, my friend stated that it’s usually something that their man is or isn’t doing that allows for another man to enter her heart with compliments, candy and conversation. And it’s the conversation that causes the heart to flutter and the feelings to grow intense, to the point that a cheating woman can find herself bound within a relationship, while a cheating man-after two pumps and a squirt-can keep it moving.

I think we can all agree that relationships with folks can be difficult and trying, but is it worse when a woman strays away from home? Even if she’s driven to do so by her man, because she often assumes the role of a nurturer in a relationship does her infidelity have a greater detriment to all involved? And in a world of imbalance and double standards, its it wrong to say that the same wrong committed by two sexes is somehow different?

Why aren't there any songs about men busting windows out of cars?

See You In Seven

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