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-The Five Spot

Friday, December 26, 2008

Cooking With Tradition

I hope that if you celebrate Christmas, you had a great Christmas! If you don’t, I hope you at least had a great day off! So I was going to write this post the day after Thanksgiving. And then this happened. So I will try to tackle it today after another holiday where major meals were prepared. What is up with women who can’t and don’t learn how to cook?

Example: Y’all know I have a love/hate relationship with Sex and the City. Well you know none of them heffas cooked. Wait that's not true. Charlotte knew what was up. She cooked. She even learned how to make a traditional Jewish meal to reel her huzband in. Anyway. Aidan, Carrie’s man at the time was off the Pennsylvania to deliver a chair. And Carrie who was cheating on him with Mr. Big and doesn’t trust herself to be alone says, “don’t leave. I’ll bake you a cake.” Or something like that. And Aidan says, “you don’t cook.” Hmmm and you’re ok with this? Do you know that I knew this chick who proudly said, "I can't even boil water." What? Please don't tell people this. That is not cute, not cute at all.

Look I’m not saying that all women have to be able to throw down in the kitchen. Admittedly I’m no gourmet chef. But I can make a meal for myself and others. I have signature dishes. Of course I’m not saying that you need to know how to cook to get a man. But I always thought that it could help during the vetting process. I mean we've all heard that the way to a man's heart is through is stomach. Right? I was watching a Bridezillas show and the guy was saying talking about how he and his fiance got together. He said, one day she spent the night, cooked a meal the next day, and he never told her to leave. I mean what man (or woman for that matter) wants to eat out all the time? And what happens if he spends the night at your spot and you can’t at least make some bacon and eggs in the morning? Do y'all have to always shower, get dressed, and head out into the world for brunch? My mother was not a cook before she got married, but she learned through trial and error. And while we were growing up, she cooked most of the meals.

Now I’m not saying the woman should be the sole cook. I was watching a Wife Swap the other day where there was family that was neat, organized, always on a schedule. And the other family was not. So when disorganized wife joins organized family, of course she couldn’t handle the pressure. She was very late cooking the husband dinner one night. Here this man was opening and longingly staring into a cold stove, walking around the kitchen looking completely clueless. Say what? You better make yourself a grilled cheese sandwich or something. Please don’t act like a complete idiot because you didn’t get your dinner on “time.” Even though my father didn’t cook the “big” meals, if we kids were alone with him, and it started getting close to dinnertime, he could put something together, so us kids were fed and satisfied. And you know it’s always fun when daddy cooks!

I would think that if anything, you would want to know how to cook for...yourself. There's nothing like the satisfaction of eating a tasty meal that your own hands have prepared. And think of all the money that you save when you cook your own meals! And then should a man come along, you can show him what you're working with. I know that we women are supposed to be all liberated and whatnot, but I think there are some traditions that we women can't completely shake off. We can redefine them of course, i.e., believing that a man should also do the cooking, sharing the role, taking turns, making sure there is balance in the relationship.
Men, what do you think about a woman who can’t and doesn’t want to learn how to cook? Women, do you think that cooking should be part of your 'trying to get a man/be somebody's wife resume?

That's my time y'all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!


Bellini said...

i have been meanin' to write a post on this, rather the lack of women who don't cook. I'll never forget during my lunch break purchasing a sandwich at a grocer and this women at the checkout bought (i kid you not) boxed mashed potatoes, frozen vegetables, prepared dessert... i was appaled. heffa, it takes nothing to boil some potatoes and add milk, butter and start mashing... does it take anything to buy fresh vegetables and steam or sautee?

I'll never forget a professional black couple buying everything that ain't fresh. And i remember thinkin' this can not be tradeoff to being married and being a professional?

Amaretto said...

I remember my paternal grandfather telling me that I would not get a husband if I didn't know how to cook...yet both he and my father cook. And while I think I can cook, I think there is nothing like other people enjoying my cooking...and since its just me myself and I tend to be easily satisfied with a bowl of flakes of frostedness.

mint julep said...

cooking should most definitely be part of your wifely resume. unless your man is down for being a househusband, most men are traditionalist even if they swear they are not and want a woman who can cook. cooking is another indication of a woman's ability to nurture which is one of many criteria men are looking for. maybe i'm a traditionalist, but not knowing how to cook is not cute and is kinda trifling. how you gon survive in this world if you can't feed your self?

Rum Punch said...

@ Bellini - Hmmm... I don't know, you need to explore that, survey your professional friends and get back to us with the results! I think it's only hard if you make it hard, my mama worked, but she cooked one pot meals, she planned ahead and cooked multiple meals for the week. Ordering out with a luxury!

@ Amaretto - Yeah I think there are alot of men who can cook and don't mind cooking, but they also want you to be able to cook. So I feel your grandfather. And if Frosted Flakes is all you need as a meal then coolness. But you know your husband will look at you sideways if you feed that to your kids for dinner every other night! Ha!

@ MJ - As you would say, exactly! Nothing else needs to be said...