Momma's Baby

Okay, so to update ya’ll on my workplace faux pas…I apologized the next day while gently flogging him for looking at my computer, and he accepted while explaining that it was just a misunderstanding he wanted to make sure we weren’t duplicating efforts. Yeah right, and my name is Vodka. But I am happy to report that things are a little less awkward now…not back to good but as my momma said…at least he’s staying out your cube. Amen mom! Amen.

And speaking of mothers… my mom came to visit me for a couple of days last week. Can I just say that I love my mom beyond any words that I can articulate. She’s always been the young, fun, humorous and understanding type and all my friends who have met her say she’s cool. And she is…but she’s also a mother. And with that comes a special little brand mothering that Amaretto ain’t been exposed to since we haven’t lived together for almost five years now. I can remember, back in the day when we shared space we would have discourse slash disputes over things like how to fold the towels. That’s right, how to fold towels! I can’t begin to tell ya’ll, I think there should be laws banning two adult related women from living together. Seriously!

And while we didn’t get into a towel folding contest this time, it truly surprised me how my mother is. I mean I don’t know if she’s changed or if I have changed, or if neither of us have changed and she’s doing her usual mom thing. But I think I have just forgotten what it was like to be mothered without a phone and a couple hundred miles in between us. And for almost four days, I had the woman who helped bring me into this world up close and personal. Live and in living color. Straight with no chaser!

Please enjoy some of last week's highlights...

MOM ON CLOTHES

Scenario: Amaretto is dressing for another day of work. She takes out black pants.

Mom says: Are you really going to wear black again today? You wore black yesterday. Amaretto thinks: Well I bought these clothes with my own money so what? Amaretto says: Yes mom. I like wearing black. Mom says: Humph. You need to wear color…looks like you’re going to a funeral. Amaretto thinks: Well if its any consolation going to work makes me feel like I’m dying a little bit each day…so I guess I’m dressed appropriately. Amaretto says: Yes mom.

MOM ON DRIVING

Scenario: After much discussion mom has selected a restaurant to go to. Amaretto is driving in the direction of said restaurant.

Mom says: On second thought, I would like to go to Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah-being a restaurant behind us. Amaretto says: Okay. Mom says: It’s behind us, you have to turn around. Amaretto continues to drive forward. Mom says: You have to turn around. Amaretto thinks: Lord, have I sinned greatly against you lately? And knowing the answer says: I know mom, but I can’t turn around in the middle of the street during rush hour. Mom says: Oh. I just wanted to make sure you knew. Amaretto thinks: I know where the place is, I do still live in the area. Amaretto says: Yes mom.

MOM ON MOTHERING

Scenario: Food finally arrives at the table. Mom offers a prayer to God thanking him for the food but more importantly our time together.

Mom Says: How blessed she is to have a daughter and how thankful she is for all the wonderful things He is doing in Amaretto’s life. Amaretto thinks: Wow. I miss my mommy. There nothing like having a mother who cares enough to continue mothering while baby is an adult. I am blessed. Amaretto almost tearfully says: Amen. Then eats. And listens to mom talk about how good it would be to have unlimited money and to also have some grandkids. Most of her friends have grandbabies, some got two or three of them. Afterall it would be nice to have some while she is still young enough to recognize them and their mother… Amaretto thinks: Really mom? Maybe I should get her a puppy and put a bow on it. Amaretto says: Yes mom, I hear everything that you are saying.

See You In Seven