the moods...the moments

I knew for sure if I saw Janet, that my emotions would succumb – that was last week. Until yesterday it all felt surreal. It hadn’t hit me. Who had died? Huh? It didn’t register with Bellini. And even with the music on heavy rotation, I wanted to shout out loud to radio – “Why can’t you play this music all the time?” Do you remember the time, when music was always happy? Or once you were free from the yoke of mama n’em you would live life off the wall – guaranteed!

Friends have commented how the mainstream media was rippin’ him to shreds. I couldn’t relate, becuz I didn’t tune in to the media. I tuned in to the music and I blasted it loud and proud whether at home or in my car. Didn’t Rihanna say, please, don’t stop the music? Yup, that sums it up for me.

And then, the day would come. Yesterday. The world was watching to the tune of 1,000,000,000. No one knew what to expect. At work, all of a sudden my desktop was sloowwwww. Boom! Like a virus was takin’ over. I informed IT, employees were streaming live coverage of the footage. And who could be mad at that? No other way to explain it. So, I called a former co-worker and put her on speaker so I could hear the live footage in my office. And then that voice, Jennifer Hudson, singing my song. Such a melancholy moment to hear her voice knowing the struggle she’s going thru and the juxtaposition of her voice bringin’ folks comfort about his homegoing.

Finally, I reached home and tuned in to the tube. There it was... the burnished coffin, gleaming in all its glory. Then to see the gloves, the Jackson 5. And Reverend Al, put in all in perspective. And then the pure innocence of childhood emoted from Paris. Gosh! The lower lids holdin’ it back like a dam, but they overflowed anyway. Heartwrenching and humbling all at the same time.

I kept being stuck on the number… 50. But then yesterday made me realize, he lived a full life. Just like a KING should. He touched so many. He loved so many. And then I realize he’s just another part of me.

cheers,

Bellini