The Boy Is Yours

When all the John Edwards baby mama ish hit the fan I actually read Ms. Hunter’s interview in GQ magazine. Even though Dark and Stormy was on some, “girl you crazy, I ain’t readin’ that trash.” But uh yeah it was a slow news day. Or I had work to do and didn’t feel like it. Can’t really remember.

But I do remember deciding to see what this heffa had to say. And in between her ‘being is free’ business cards and her boundless love for Johnny, she basically had a laissez faire, devil may care, I don’t owe Lizzy nuffin type attitude. You see she was just doing her own thang. And Johnny, even though he was married, chose to step to her. And she received him. Cause she is free. And is just passing through this thing called life, like a star or a comet. Ya dig? But under the surface, beyond the craziness, when you got past all the hippy dippy B.S., peeled back the layers and tried to find a reason for their “affair.” What she was basically saying, (to use one of Mint Julep’s favorite quotes) was don't be surprised that it went down like this cause…

“Nyggas ain’t shyt, but hoes and tricks.”

And I agree. Now that’s not fair Rum Punch, all nyggas ain’t shyt, but...OK. That’s true. So, to quote another wordsmith, I’ll say, the world is filled with pimps and hoes, we’ll just talk about those I know. And so as a single woman I have dated men who have left and chose another. They got into deep, deeeep relationships almost immediately. Found the one and got engaged. Almost immediately. And that’s cool. Ain't no thang. This is of course after the tears and the curse words. Then it's all do you man. Until….

Until they came back like what you doin? How you been? What’s up with you? Maybe we should… And you be like oh you single now? Nope. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Still with that other chick. Oh. Oh? Ohhhhhhh.

Admittedly I can be a tad naïve or eyes wide shut when I get a, ‘wanna go to dinner’ text (as I did this past weekend) from a former beau. And I have asked aloud, “why does he want to meet with me?” And I have gotten the virtual and physical O_o from Minty, my brother, and other comrades. But you see for me – because I have moved on I assume they have as well.

And so there were times in the past when I have accepted the invitation. Only to feel a foot against my leg or a well misplaced hand on my back. And it feels good. For a minute. Like a literal ego stroke. And it’s like YESSS!!! Vengeance is mine, chick! (Yeah you just forget that you totally moved on) You start dancing on the inside, talmbout if that’s your boyfriend, if that’s your boyfriend, if that’s your boyfriend, he wasn’t last night. In yo' face bi-ya! In yo' face!!! Cabbage patch. Running man. Roger Rabbit. And do the snake - you lose, I win, you lose! These are the things that have gone through my mind.

But then you know I come to my senses. I refuse the advances. But I also wonder about the other woman who is in actuality his woman. His ride or die. Who thinks he's the best, the minfin best. Who she just knows can't do no wrong. Whom she trusts. Lots. And I know she don’t know about this. She don’t know about me. And that makes me sad. Lose hope. In these nigs. In all of humanity. Heh.

Ms. Hunter, Alicia Keys, Gabby Union, all the other no name, mistresses/side pieces/jump offs often get blamed, get good tongue lashings on the blogs, in the media, and are continually chastised for “taking” someone else’s man/husband. The other woman's retort comes right on cue – I didn’t take him. He came willingly. Yada.

Having been placed in potential compromising situations – I understand where these chicks are coming from. Sure I never made him come to me. Sure he chose to be an a*hole in the dark and live an 'I'm getting fitted for my angel wings' life in the light. But I don’t have to go to dinner. I can plainly ask, “does your fiancé know you want to come over to my house?” Does your girlfriend know you picking me up in her car? And decline invitations when it seems, that something in that milk ain't clean.

Cause as I get older (even though I do get so lonely), I choose to do right, regardless of if they want to do wrong. And it's not always for altruistic reasons. Or cause I feel sorry for the other woman. And think that we are bonded by sisterhood. Or cause my moral compass is always pointing North. Or cause I believe karma is a bi-ya. It's mainly because I've done the math, the cost analysis as it were, and decided these nyggas' tricks, their shyt, just aint worth it.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

Taking it even farther back cause it's Friday and I'm iganant like that! He's mine you may'a had him once, but I got him all the time. You can't sleep at night. BWAAAHH!