what went wrong?

in my lifetime - at times - i feel like i've seen it, done it, or know somebody else who seen it, done it all. and when you factor 6 degrees of separation - well cut that in half - becuz 3 seems to be the magic number for Bellini...

as an adult it happens to be quite commonplace to hear about deteriorating marriages not to mention the marriages that just went kaput after 30 + years.

let's zone in on the latter.

When I first heard of a couple going there separate ways after 40 years I ceded a perplex disposition. I reckoned isn't easier to ride it out for another 20 years together. but is life always about being easy, let alone taking it easy? If you've done 40 what's another 20? I asked my friend whose in-laws had divorced what effect that had on her husband and his siblings (given it was his parents that split up). She's not sure, I'm sure it has her shook. Ironically, all the kids of the divorcees (three of 'em) are all married. But I have to wonder what psychological manifestations have they endured.

Do they feel their marriage is doomed?
If a spouse is unhappy does that warrant callin' it quits?

on Saturday, as I ran my errands, I ran into an aunt of a friend from grade school who inadvertently mentioned that my friend's parents had split. I'm a lil' baffled because I can't recall if they were legally married. but then again after 30 years - common law is in effect... she was quick to blame her sister for the disunion "you know she has issues"... are issues enough? auntie then goes on to share "he's doing fine, he bought himself a truck and found him a nice little spot" so matter-of-factly.

whenever I'm at the hairsalon and my stylist expresses her views on worldy matters... she proclaims for her generation it was all about the kids. she has 3 grown kids with kids of their own and she's always heartened by the feelings her kids have on she and their father embracing their union for the umpteenth time... but i can't help but sense a bit of resentment, quasi-bitterness as it appears she's gettin' robbed of the possibilities of going backwards...

things that make you hmmmm...

cheers,

Bellini