Singing A Different Tune

You know how the radio can beat a song into your head so that eventually you know the words? You’re not even sure how it happened. That’s how I feel about Alicia Keys’ song No One. Before I realized it, I knew all the words to that song and I don’t even like that song! Anyway. Because the radio plays the same 10 songs over and over, I caught myself singing I’m So Hood, not whilst it was playing in my car but whilst I was sitting at my desk. Goodness it’s a catchy little ditty.

So I’m sitting at my desk and then I randomly start singing, “I’m soooo hood…” and then kind of hum the next few lines cause I don’t know what he says after that, something about wearing your pants below your waist and walking it out and you ain’t hood if you don’t know what he’s talking bout. Hmm…so I do know the rest…ok…So then I stopped myself and was like “Rum Punch, (yes I call myself Rum Punch even in my everyday life) you aren’t hood, you are middle class”-and we know this because I used the correct subject verb agreement. Hmmm…but for some reason I’m sooo middle classs just doesn’t have the same ring to it, in a song or in life.

As a young woman who grew up Black middle class, not to be confused with growing up Black bourgeoisie and yes there is a difference. Don’t you just love how we as Black people put each other into categories? So, while I didn’t want for anything growing up (a true blessing), my mama maintained her Revolutionary, Black Power ideologies, so there was no Jack & Jill, no Links, no Boulé, no trips to the Vineyard, no attendance at my mother’s sorority or father’s fraternity conference-mainly because they didn’t pledge, no cotillion (although me being the diva that I am, I begged my mama to let me be in a cotillion but I was met with staunch resistance as my mom reminisced on the discrimination that she and her family faced by her own people-damn Black folk and our brown paper bag tests!). And if you didn’t experience 80% of those references, you didn’t grow up Black bourgeoisie either. But it’s ok. Like the King of Pop sang, you are not alone.

Unfortunately, I have seen many of my fellow middle class brethren fall prey to the ‘I’m sooo hood mentality…’ You know the ones who grew up in a two parent home, went to church on Sunday, did well in school (until maybe about high school) and then suddenly they became ‘hood.’ This led to them actually having to hang in the hood for authenticity and eventually getting tangled into things their parents would have never fathomed. Aaaah yes, the fallen ones. Because growing up Black middle class is some heavy stuff, and I mean literally heavy…I mean it’s like we are carrying the race on our backs with our successes and achievements, stumbles and pitfalls.

For me growing up Black and middle class was about more than my parents’ combined income, it was about exposure and opportunity. My parents wanted my brother and I to have every chance that they didn’t have. This meant that we learned foreign languages at an early age, were taught to love reading, saw plays about our people, were taken to museums just because it was Saturday and had countless other experiences that helped us see the world from a different perspective. We were raised and nurtured around people of a similar mindset, as we attended Kwanzaa celebrations (and other fun family gatherings), church on a regular basis and after school activities like our all Black Scouting troops. In every setting we were surrounded by people who cheered us on, encouraged us at every step and complimented our every success. And because we had received so much, certain things were expected of us. Attending college was a given, getting married before birthing a child was a commandment, joining somebody’s church was an expectation and giving back to the community was something you embodied…

There are many Black folk who have grown up quote on quote middle class and have seemingly strayed away from the values and expectations of their parents, families, community and apparently society as a whole. This Washington Post article really makes you go hmmm, or wtf, or a combination of both… Sometimes it seems that if you are Black and you grew up “regular”: in a two parent household (or just a supportive household for goodness sake), in a house (not a project building), took modest vacations, were pushed to succeed and be the best and were loved by your family, then seemingly, you are in a small minority. I once had a guy who after years of hustling finally got his first 9-5 job say to me, "I'm trying to be square like your father." Is that what going to work everyday, owning a home and raising a family is nowadays, being a square? I'll be that. But I understand how it doesn't make for a catchy song...


Because while you may know all song lyrics related to the hood, you probably can’t really relate to that lifestyle. But there is no song for you and how you grew up. We are not privy to see Black performers, entertainers or athletes recount their middle class lifestyle to the masses, not because they don’t exist but because it just doesn’t sell the b.s. ‘woe is me, I was Black and po’ but I ain’t no mo…’ one dimensional portrayal of Black life. I mean let hip hop and the media tell it (Mr. Bill O’Reilly included), the way I lived is just not real. Even August Wilson said the Cosby Show did not accurately reflect African American life. But I’m sorry, that’s how I grew up. That was African American life for me. That was my world. And I know that for millions of Black kids who are now Black adults, that too was their world. So I say that we Black middle class folk ban together and write our own song for the world to hear…I’m sooo middle class and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!