A couple weeks ago I ran into a dude I went to high school with. He was neither friend nor foe so I was going to act like I didn’t see him. But he decided to say hello and so we got to talking, well gossiping about our former classmates. He told me about so and so who lost their mind in college drinking and “experimenting.” And about such and such who quit her job because she’s engaged to some rich guy. And he, himself was expecting his first child with a girlfriend. So many changes have occurred for some people yet sometimes I feel like I’m in the exact same place I was nearly ten years ago.
These type of conversations get one to being introspective and I began to think about young Amaretto and the person she was. Back in the day, it was so important to get my crush to notice me. So I would plan to accidentally bump into him in the hallway. There was always a plan to smoke and drink at someone’s house when their parents were away. And Friday and Saturday nights were spent cruising the streets in a friend’s broke down car-sanging along with the radio. Good times! But along with the trivial there were plans for what my adult self would do…
I guess this is what getting older is like. Planning, living, revising, reminiscing, wondering, and letting go. This song has been speaking to me lately. It was hot when I was like four and the video’s fashions are quite hilarious. But this British group, Simply Red must have known that folks would be able to relate to the feeling and fear of wasting our limited time…
Don’t get me wrong, I am looking forward to my future and keeping my past where it belongs- behind me. It’s just sometimes I think about young Amaretto who really thought I would have it all together by thirty. Such a lofty, and maybe slight crazy, goal-but even still, I don’t want to fail us. Occasionally I wish time would slow up, but since that’s not going to happen I’ll keep striving during these years to make young Amaretto’s dreams my reality.
See You in Seven
2 comments:
NO you didn't...LOL!
I hear you girl sometimes you look back and you think you haven't done anything. But sometimes it takes someone else to remind you of how far you have come…how much you have matured emotionally.
I have heard people say that in your 20s you are constantly seeking self-improvement. Or like my mother would say, restless. Either way when I look at people around me getting married, having babies and buying huge houses, I have to remind myself that everyone’s life moves at its own pace. I know that under anyone of those circumstances there are issues that I am not prepared to deal with. And once you are in those situations it much harder to turn back, then if you had not rushed into them. So I say, “Don’t force it. Enjoy this time for what it is worth.”
This song is classic.
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