Money for Bus Fare

A long, long time ago, in a land far, far away, while I was in undergrad, my girlfriend and I went to hear Sister Souljah speak at Clark Atlanta aka CAU’s campus. Now, let me stop here. I am not nor was I at the time a die hard Souljah fan. But I was aware of her activist work and commitment to the community. And I was intrigued by her. So we went to hear her speak.

She was awesome. She basically called us ladies out on a lot of bullshit. Our inability to get along and let men get all up in the middle of us, have us fighting each other and whatnot. It was good. Especially if you are aware of the drama that happens between Clark and Spelman women. But I digress. At the end of her speech she told the following story (and please understand that I’m truly paraphrasing because it’s been awhile). So basically the story goes like this: her husband’s friend shows up to the house for a visit. Friend and husband go into the basement to talk, etc. While they’re downstairs Souljah starts cooking (you know being a good hostess). So after a couple of hours they come upstairs and Souljah says, “Friend, I cooked a little something. Would you like to stay for dinner?” And friend says, “Oh I can’t stay. My girl is waiting in the car.”

Can't you just hear the collective gasp from the audience? You know it was nothing but Black women up in there clucking their tongues and working their necks talking bout, “Oh no that chick didn’t stay in the car all that time while her supposed to be man was inside. Why didn’t she get out of the car?”

And then Souljah hit us with this: Some of you ladies are waiting in that car, not necessarily physically, but spiritually and emotionally. Some of y’all are waiting for that man who you know is “no good” to change. Some of y’all are mistresses waiting for the man to leave his wife. Some of y'all are sharing a man and you don't want to give up that good 'd' and be by yourself. Some of y’all are hanging on to a man, to a relationship, to an idea, to a hope, to a dream, to some bullshit. Get out of the car!

Now who knows how much of this story is true and how much of it was embellished to make a point. But the point was made. It hit home for me and still rings true today. Now I can’t lie and act like I have always known when to get out of the car. Sometimes it has taken me awhile to get my Oprah style this is some bullshit 'aha' moment. But when I get it, I get it. And it's coming sooner and sooner as I get older. And then the most important part of it all is that I see it as a lesson learned and try to grow from it while pushing myself not to make the same mistake. So now I make sure to always carry around some emergency money and my walking shoes. Cause I refuse to sit and wait on some bullshit.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday